normal Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 i know that all relationships are different, but i was wondering if this happens in a lot of long term relationships... when my bf and i first met, we went out ALL the time to bars, parties, concerts, etc. now we live together, times have changed and we don't go out all that much. i'm content with being home, as i've always been sort of a home body, and it helps me save money when i'm not out all the time anyway. he, of course is free to go out and i'm not going to try and stop him if one of his friends is throwing a party. but he chooses to stay home...and we usually end up watching movies or playing games together or something really lame. i really, really, really don't mind at all.... we do go out on dates a lot, and sometimes go out with friends but usually it's just the two of us. we sort of live in our own world, and i stay in touch with friends but he is my priority over everyone so it's not like i'm dropping everything to see any of them. it's not that i don't want to go out, and if something does come up that sounds fun, we go and have a good time....then we don't do anything again for quite a while. and i feel kind of bad that he doesn't ever go out. like i said, most times he doesn't care... but sometimes if there's a party or something and i decide that i don't want to go he gets upset and stays home like i'm forcing him not to go or something. but the truth is, i don't care if he goes out with friends in fact i'm happy when he goes out (instead of playing stupid world of warcraft!). is this typical in long term relationships? is it going to hurt us in the long run? PS. We are both almost 23 years old...
bluechocolate Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Why don't you try dating ? No, not with other men, with each other. Each of you take turns (negotiate the frequency - once a week, once a fortnight...) organising something to do & then take the other one out for the day/night.
carhill Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Looks like they are "dating"... we do go out on dates a lot, and sometimes go out with friends but usually it's just the two of us.OP, IMO, just keep doing what you're doing. Also, there's nothing wrong with you getting your "excitement" with your friends, as long as you continue to prioritize your LTR. Diversity and solitary/friend time is a good thing. The main issue which might arise is one of compatibility if you're a high energy party girl and he's a laid-back homebody (extreme example). One or both could develop resentment if the issues aren't communicated and/or some resolution isn't found. The concerns you posted here should be discussed with him.
bluechocolate Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 oops - and I can't edit... so disregard my previous post
Love_Listener Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 All I have to say is be careful. I'm 23 and spent 18-21 or so being responsible and being with a women (who I wasn't actually dating! because I was a wimpy looser back then). Consequently a couple years ago something came over me and now i'm an alcoholic! Not saying thats going to happen to you lol, but remember your still young and its not healthy to completely cut yourself off from your social life. Remember if you don't converse with your friends you will lose them! You also might be headed for a mid life crisis later on So why not go out to social events with friends more often? Join a softball team or a club.
Lizzie60 Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 I see nothing wrong AS LONG as you keep in touch with your friends.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 You and your bf have gotten too comfortable with each other. If you don't change things around and add a little excitement your relationship might end up getting stale. Whether you guys actually want to or not, I recommend nightly or weekend outings that's filled with an assortment of activities. You have to spend days together, but you also have to remember to take time away from each other so you won't feel suffocated. Remember you're 23, you can't just sit at home and be a homebody. You'll have plenty of time for that when you're 60.
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