Sephirothh Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Well it does take a certain girl to be attracted to a nice guy, and usually its the one that has dated many aholes and just finally wants a nice guy who isn't too much of a pushover but you must take the better of both sides and use it to help your advantage. I'm finding I get along alot better with ones that have been smoked before in past relationships, but if a nice guy did have a better chance with a certain type of girl which would that be....honestly I don't know if it is the nice girl that matches with him (thats what most would think)Buuuutt...From what i've seen it's the hardcore party girls and rebellious ones that are used to guys coming on to them and wanting to sleep with them all the time....that always seem to want to keep me around funny as it may sound, but i don't know maybe its just a connection that is part of the "exception" of course I'm nice but not a pushover. But id like to hear your thoughts
yandii Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 well.. i fell in love with guys who.. hmm let's say with a bad image. they had girlfriends before or addicted to games and always with his friends or not that smart , he's lazy and totally bad. and i can say, i didn't get satisfied. yes i loved them but there's always something missing and i've known that since i met or i've known this boy.. he's too good to be true and honestly, i'm worse than him. he's different and girls often want somebody who'll give the taste they want.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 The type of woman that 'nice' guys usually end up with are the girls that 'bad' guys don't want and don't compete for. Not always, but it happens that way a lot of the time. seen it's the hardcore party girls and rebellious ones that are used to guys coming on to them and wanting to sleep with them all the time....that always seem to want to keep me around They do keep nice guys around. Nice guys have many uses, but it isn't unheard of for these women to ditch the nice guy in a millisecond when the bad boy comes prowling around.
fishtaco Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 The only type of girls nice guys can get are Rosy Palm and her five sisters. Ok that was a joke, sort of. Nothing is absolute. Although given the high number of nice guys and low number of girl that date nice guys, it's really not a smart way to go. Extra bonus: even girls that like nice guys are susceptible to the "bad boy". The only women on this planet that are mature and intelligent and moral and beautiful and virtuous and... a bunch of other compliments, and are capable of staying away from bad boys are women on LS. So if you date anyone that's not on LS, sorry bro, you are now dealing with the general population, with general population tendencies. Although bad boy isn't the only way to go, doing the nice guy thing certainly has disadvantages. There are all types of gray in between. Be gray. Be ambiguous. Be without form, like water (I think that was a Bruce Lee quote). If Bruce Lee said so, you better listen.
carhill Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Reflecting back on 30+ years, I'd say I generally attracted damaged or otherwise emotionally unavailable women, though I dated a much broader spectrum. In me, they found something they wanted but did not need, so, when a better opportunity presented itself, they moved on. So, I got a cat
LovieDove24 Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 I am a reformed bad girl and looking for a nice guy myself. Dating bad boys is indeed fun but you end up with a whole lot of mess on your hands in the process. In other words, it never is as glamorous or fun as that first original thrill you get from the excitement of a badboy. Once they start making snide remarks about your sister or acting pompous around your friends, trust me, the luster wears off. Anyways, I got to this point after having my daughter and raising her as a single mother. Im looking for a kind and gentle man now. This does not mean HOWEVER that I want a pushover or weepy, "ore-emotional-than- me" type. Just a man who is comfortable in his own skin and does not have to act cocky to project confidence. I have found that the cockiest, meanest ones of all are the ones with little cowaring boys just beneath the surface. And I'm looking for a man from the inside out.
start-fresh Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Does the whole nice guy/bad boy thing kind of even out as people get older? I ask because I'm 22 and it's definitely still in play, but I would think as people get older they generally mellow out. There are of course guys that never do but I would say those type of guys are the exception, not the rule.
carhill Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 In a society which prides itself on the rewarding of those who self-promote and toot their own horn, it is often difficult to walk the less traveled path of letting actions speak to one's character and fortitude. Humility has been out of fashion for quite sometime now, IME. Also, as evidenced by numerous threads here, what a woman likes and what she is attracted to at an elemental emotional level are often two very different dynamics. I'm aware this applies to both genders so am acutely aware and watchful for those good women who happen by, if only (as a married person) to validate their healthy perspective on life and relationships. Does the whole nice guy/bad boy thing kind of even out as people get older? IME, there is less of a distinction, but I still see the same dynamic as when younger, though women seem to be more pragmatic now and just take what they want from either type without the angst. Check with me again in another 20 years when I'm 70
You'reasian Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 In a society which prides itself on the rewarding of those who self-promote and toot their own horn, it is often difficult to walk the less traveled path of letting actions speak to one's character and fortitude. Humility has been out of fashion for quite sometime now, IME. Excellent perspective. Dating is more about self-promotion, sparkle and "right here, right now" - the perception is absolutely the reality. Also, as evidenced by numerous threads here, what a woman likes and what she is attracted to at an elemental emotional level are often two very different dynamics. I'm aware this applies to both genders so am acutely aware and watchful for those good women who happen by, if only (as a married person) to validate their healthy perspective on life and relationships.. Indeed. Every woman says they want a nice guy all the while dating the bad boy.
Woggle Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Nice guys get ballbusting women who treat them like crap and cheat on them left and right. They are usually the guys you see getting chewed out in public in front of everybody becuase they happened to breathe wrong around her.
Author Sephirothh Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 Funny thing is and I will be the first too admit it, I am more attracted to the party/drama queen girl rather then the typical nice girl, can we see a change coming...maybe becuz I have tested it, I am actually currently dating 2 girls that are so different it isn't even funny, but yet the girl who gives me more of a headache, DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA, Partys alot, plays games like you wouldn't believe, and not neccessarily use me, but I wouldn't say she is looking for a bf at the moment, is the girl I WANT TO DATE a heck of a lot more then the one who is much much better girlfriend material and kinda like the girl next door. SO FOR GUYS OR AT LEAST ME ITS PROBABLY THE SAME THING is this how its going to be, and now are the nice girls are going to be 2nd best to the pyscho drama queens. as of right now, for me it is. Now I do consider myself a pretty successful "nice guy" when it comes to women over the years but I am starting to lean more towards the grey area...
Woggle Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 I admit I used to date troubled women and try to be a knight in shining armor but I learned my lesson very quickly.
Taramere Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 For two people to get together, at least one of them has to have the level of self confidence and aggression necessary to make an approach. I can think of nice guys I encountered when I was younger who I would have happily got it together with, but they always seemed passive, shy and disinterested in women. Then all of a sudden they'd be involved with a woman who had pursued them very aggressively. I would think those are the situations that end in tears, eg when the woman gets bored of her passive nice guy and moves onto someone who's more her equal in terms of confidence and aggression. The same thing happens with confident men and shy women. Sometimes I think I'd like to set up a matchmaking service that would involve personality testing and some kind of introduction via a third party. I think there are a lot of shy people out there who would be happiest with people of a similar temperament....but who are just too shy to get it together with them. So they end up with partners who are more aggressive than they can handle, but who do at least know how to get the fire started.
You'reasian Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Nice guys get ballbusting women who treat them like crap and cheat on them left and right. They are usually the guys you see getting chewed out in public in front of everybody becuase they happened to breathe wrong around her. I think Samspade said it best - nice guys evolve: they're either forced to get a little rough around the edges and play the game or stay back at home. Pay attention nice guy! Nice guys get friend zoned by your average girl. Not enough zing, zip - no chemistry. You've got to work on putting your weight behind your steps and a little fire in your gut or the ladies are gonna trip you up. Women can smell confidence and some women can tell if there's just enough of something to back it up. Nice guys get pushed downward In some cases your genuinity/hospitality is denied, spun, misinterpreted/re-constructed and counter-accused against you. "Geez, he was polite - he must be trying to cover something up??" Nice guy, you are too defensive. You've got to take the offense - keep her on her toes and if she thinks your a jerk - she didn't like you to being with - move on. Nice guys are too predictable You've got to develop your subliminal/psychological side and drop some of the well polished manners. Combine the two and you'll have an edge over some guys that are just jerks. Nice guy - you gotta stop giving a damn You care too much. You're your own man, for crying out loud - love your career, your hobbies, your passions - build them and yourself - don't waste time and energy where its not working (beeing a nice guy lol). I'm not advocating being an abusive *******, but you've got to not give a damn, make them appreciate you and be your own man.
Chicago_Guy Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 What kind of a stupid question is this? Just because a guy is "nice" doesn't mean he's a doormat, does it? A "nice" guy can be edgy and interesting, can't he? Not all women seek out douchebags who mistreat them.
spookie Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 The nice guy/ bad boy division assumes a 1-dimensional spectrum. I think it's more like this: [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]pussy[/sIZE][/FONT][sIZE=2][FONT=Arial] non-pussy [/FONT][/sIZE][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]sashole[/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]screwed before game even begins[/sIZE][/FONT][sIZE=2][FONT=Arial] "bad boy"[/FONT][/sIZE][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]non-sashole[/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]"nice guy"[/sIZE][/FONT][sIZE=2][FONT=Arial]man everyone wants to date [/FONT][/sIZE]
spookie Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 The nice guy/ bad boy division assumes a 1-dimensional spectrum. I think it's more like this: [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]pussy[/sIZE][/FONT][sIZE=2][FONT=Arial] non-pussy [/FONT][/sIZE][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]sashole[/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]screwed before game even begins[/sIZE][/FONT][sIZE=2][FONT=Arial] "bad boy"[/FONT][/sIZE][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]non-sashole[/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]"nice guy"[/sIZE][/FONT][sIZE=2][FONT=Arial]man everyone wants to date [/FONT][/sIZE] Ok, so clearly LS and Excel aren't compatible. What I meant to paste is the 2-dimensional guy-tendencies spectrum: ___________pussy______________________non-pussy sashole__screwed before game began______"bad boy" non-sashole_"nice guy"____man all women want to date
spookie Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 And on that note... I think "nice guys" settle for anything with a vagina. I've dated them, and my overwhelming feeling when I was with these guys, who treated me well, was that it didn't really matter WHO I was; they were just ecsastic that a girl was paying them attention. I could have done whatever I wanted - which, btw, is not good. I think the girls who go for "nice guys" are "nice girls" who, likewise, are just glad to be in an R. Sometimes they were born nice. Sometimes they're reformed alcoholics. Sometimes they turn nice cause they're "pushin' thirty and (their) old tricks no longer work," to quote Amy Winehouse.
Sam Spade Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 I'm not a "nice guy" in the stereotypical/pejorative sense of the word, but always treat women nice (just won't go out of my way to please a woman/be a doormat). So technically I'm a "nice guy" . It works out great because it weeds out all the children that'd expect me to be solely responsible for providing them with constant stimulation and excitement, and left me with a stereotypical "nice girl" who is quiet, composed, caring, feminine, loving - i.e. has all the qualities I'm looking for. I wouldn't exchange her for a "bad" (exciting:rolleyes:) girl if one fell into my lap tomorrow.
Author Sephirothh Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 well then I never want to hear girls ever complain about guys mistreating them anymore then, because from what I'm hear they can EASILY find someone who can treat them right and the way the want to be treated, What women never realize they can do almost anything they want with this person and ultimately mold him into whatever they want, now if they only thought this way who knows what would happen. But lets play role reversal what if the good respectable guys starting going for the bad girls, what happens then to the dating scene. This throws a wrench into everything, WHY becuz look at this A nice guy is more willing to put up with a bad girls garbage more so then a nice girl putting up with a bad boys garbage.... A good girl is most likely going to bail on the bad boy when treated poorly, and the good guy is more likely going to be the doormat to the bad girl and put up with it... And it could happen dating is like a fad in some ways, there was a time when nice guys were getting the girls, and if you don't believe me look at your parents and your grandparents. The key of course now a days is to mix the better of the two, becuz women still like being treated good. Honestly I used to think women just lacked common sense for picking a bad boy over a nice guy and I used to play devils advocate and tell myself "damn I would love to have a girl treat me like that" but now after doing a little testing of my own, I now know why its much more fun and exciting to date the hott partying bad girl. and sam spade it's easy to say that now, but to be fair you have to experience it or give it a try before coming to that conclusion
Sam Spade Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Being a bit rought around the edges is important, but should not be overdone - I learned the hard way . Velvet fist in an iron glove is where it's at . The partying hott girls need not apply (or in that case it will be an iron fist in an iron glove ).
Author Sephirothh Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 its fair to say also that the bad boy needs to change a few things about himself as well in order to settle down with someone. So basically both sides are equal in that account.
LovieDove24 Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 well then I never want to hear girls ever complain about guys mistreating them anymore then, because from what I'm hear they can EASILY find someone who can treat them right and the way the want to be treated The thing is whether you're "nice" or not does not necessarily apply when the going gets tough in a relationship. Even the nicest person has skeletons in his closet. For instance, a nice guy may not realize it but choosing to stare at the TV while his gf discusses important issues with him is going to ignite a fire. Sure he's still a nice guy but surely the gf also has something to "complain" about here. And it goes both ways obviously, male and female.
You'reasian Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 And on that note... I think "nice guys" settle for anything with a vagina. I've dated them, and my overwhelming feeling when I was with these guys, who treated me well, was that it didn't really matter WHO I was; they were just ecsastic that a girl was paying them attention. I could have done whatever I wanted - which, btw, is not good. I think the girls who go for "nice guys" are "nice girls" who, likewise, are just glad to be in an R. Sometimes they were born nice. Sometimes they're reformed alcoholics. Sometimes they turn nice cause they're "pushin' thirty and (their) old tricks no longer work," to quote Amy Winehouse. I'm not following with the re-formed alcoholic part, but I know some guys who are over 30 and their old tricks still work somehow.
Isolde Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 And on that note... I think "nice guys" settle for anything with a vagina. I've dated them, and my overwhelming feeling when I was with these guys, who treated me well, was that it didn't really matter WHO I was; they were just ecsastic that a girl was paying them attention. I could have done whatever I wanted - which, btw, is not good. This. It's one thing to decide you're tired of games and want someone, good, simpler, salt of the earth. It's another to get into an R like the above.
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