Constantly stressed out and my negative inner thoughts are running rampant

[dvsxx6]

I'm a fourth year undergraduate student, going to graduate this fall 2009 and I am completely stressed out. My daily to-do list is literally at least 15-20 items per day, and I sometimes find myself adding 2 or 3 more on while crossing off one or two items. And before anyone says "that's life, get used to it" type of deal, let me just say that I am new to handling huge amounts of stress and I am very overwhelmed. I need resources and I need to know others experiences so that I don't feel so alone.

 

I know that everyone living on this earth feels stress but I feel so alone for some reason. Of course it's unrealistic to think that my problems are worse than others, but I sometimes feel that way. I feel very alone. i keep telling myself to "stop the self-pity" and "stop feeling sorry for myself" but what is the difference between genuinely feeling sad about the situation and feeling sorry for myself? In the past, I wouldn't ever allow myself to feel sad cause I was a very optimistic person. Still am, actually. But since so much is happening all at once, I feel like I don't know how to deal with things.

 

I've also got high expectations and have perfectionist tendencies which always makes me feel so frustrated because I always end up falling short. My motto is "Why settle for less? Who wants to live a mediocre life?" [i have my own definition of what mediocre is, to others it may be different.]

 

I've got many papers, exams, assignments and it has been non-stop for the past 2 months now. I am losing sleep. I have recently started eating healthy again and exercising which I know will help contribute to my overall well-being.

 

I didn't realize how angry I've become since I've been stressed andI really have been very bitchy lately. I have untrue negative thoughts that are constantly going on in my head about "how I am stupid, how I can't think clearly when I am stressed out, how other people must see that I'm starting to withdraw because sometimes when I speak I don't make sense [since I am always having a million other things on my mind, etc. How sometimes I am too nice to others. How sometimes I am too bitchy to others, etc.]

 

Is there a way to eradicate these thoughts? Many people are stressed out, and I know that my life will only get progressively even more stressful since I am going to grad school. I must learn how to effectively manage my stress. Goin to a therapist is out of the question because a lot of the times, a lot of my unresolved past issues that really don't affect me now end up being brought up which then turns into another problem which is highly frustrating to me. I am over what happened to me in the past. That's not an issue. I want to know how to move forward with effectively eradicating negative thoughts and handling stress more effectively.

 

Any suggestions?

 

Thank you in advance

[TaraMaiden]

meditation.

 

_/l\_

[Just Angel]

Agree with Tara.

Schedule time to relax. A walk thru the woods, a massage, meditation, laying in the bath with candles and music etc. Relearn how to breathe. Seriously, most people dont know how to take a true breath.

You need to make personal time your highest priority.

 

The negative thoughts need to be replaced as well. Everytime you catch yourself thinking negatively, purposefully replace that thought with something empowering. (I am capable, I am clear headed etc.)

[kizik]

Professional counseling. Meditation is hippie-dippiness.

[biggamer35]

I know most of these answers may be cliche but: exercise, find a new hobby, get a pet, take a few deep breaths, go on a Sunday drive.

[kizik]

BTW, if you're busy and stressed out, it's your own fault.

 

Sign up for less classes next time. Book some free time. I think it's so silly when people feel proud about how busy they are.

 

-"I work 80 hours a week and have six kids and I'm taking 24 credits at school! Aren't I GREAT?"

 

-"No, you're insane."

[kizik]

Goin to a therapist is out of the question because a lot of the times, a lot of my unresolved past issues that really don't affect me now end up being brought up which then turns into another problem which is highly frustrating to me.

 

Oh dear, you're in total denial.

 

Your past does not affect you? You get frustrated when anyone tries to bring it up?

 

Those are contradictory statements, dvs. It's the people who resist therapy who need it the most.

[Lovelybird]

It could be that you are not taking anything positive or love into your heart and spirit lately. you are worn out

 

I found out if I spend some quiet time with God, I can be renewed fresh, and feel His love, and be energized. So I think it is important that one finds true rest in Him

 

Have you ever listen Joyce Meyer's preaching about "enjoy every day life?" She is high achiever but still learned to enjoy not to stress self out, she has website. Good luck

[sb129]

Stress is a part of life, and you had better get used to it because it doesn't get any better after college- those days were heavenly bliss compared with the stuff I have to deal with now. (pregnancy, mortgage and debt repayments, moving countries, new job, new house, recently married, death of a parent from a terminal illness, impending parenthood of my own and all that entails $$$$ argh!! etc etc etc etc etc!)

 

However, I cope far better now, because I give myself a break, and try not to sweat the small stuff.

 

Being super busy with no downtime is a fast-track way to a breakdown.

Downtime (whether its meditation, a bath or whatever) is really really important.

And breathing exercises are actually pretty good- I used to think they were all rubbish until I started doing them for headache relief due to the fact that I can't take any medication at the moment. taking 5 minutes to do those breathing exercises really works.

 

Even if you have to SCHEDULE "doing nothing" you need to do nothing sometimes. Or do something you really enjoy.

if you don't, you will burn out, and you are too young to burn out.

 

A to do list is a good idea, but you don't HAVE to get everything done on it every day-

the world won't stop turning if you don't!

 

 

I think you are also in denial about therapy if you have past issues that are unresolved.

[dvsxx6]

Thank you to everyone who replied! I've actually decided to connect and meet with a therapist again and I'm optimistic that I will learn how to handle stress more effectively and also, get over other issues that I have: friendship/relationship issues, trust issues, etc. I really appreciate the constructive comments and that's really what I needed. It was a lil' shocking seeing that others think that I need therapy, but it's true. I'm going to give it another shot. Thank you again!

[dvsxx6]

BTW, if you're busy and stressed out, it's your own fault.

 

Sign up for less classes next time. Book some free time. I think it's so silly when people feel proud about how busy they are.

 

-"I work 80 hours a week and have six kids and I'm taking 24 credits at school! Aren't I GREAT?"

 

-"No, you're insane."

 

LOL you know what, when I read this, my stomach just turned a little. I mean, because you're right. I have been stressed out and it is my fault.. However, I feel that I haven't learned the effective ways to handle stress. Which I'm going to learn in therapy. All I know how to do is be withdrawn and feel sorry for myself when I get stressed. I should not take any pride in doing so much. Thank you so much for writing that to me, just what I needed.

[kizik]

LOL you know what, when I read this, my stomach just turned a little. I mean, because you're right. I have been stressed out and it is my fault.. However, I feel that I haven't learned the effective ways to handle stress. Which I'm going to learn in therapy. All I know how to do is be withdrawn and feel sorry for myself when I get stressed. I should not take any pride in doing so much. Thank you so much for writing that to me, just what I needed.

 

You are welcome. I write out of care and not to be mean. I hope you make some free time and RELAX!