BreeZ Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 This is part of my english class and I had to make an account and post this. I hope this is useful for anyone out there who maybe experiencing divorce and have children. I myself have never been married but have been through two different ones because of my parents... Many people that you talk to has had the experience of going through a divorce whether they were dealing with it themselves, experiencing it secondhand, or dealing with it through a family member. If the divorce is not handled correctly with the child, some children have been known to become traumatized by the situation. Many children hear things and see things that they should have never been exposed to through the divorce. Many children blame themselves for the divorce. If more people knew about all the problems they can cause with their divorce by bringing their children into the middle of it, they might do things differently. This could possibly prevent stress and heartache for their children. For starters it is helpful that when both parents decide to set the children down together and explain to them what is going on. The first and foremost thing a parent should do is explain to their child that they are not getting a divorce because of them and the divorce is not the child’s fault. Parents have to understand that their children are just as upset about the changes and situation as they are. They also need to understand that when they are angry and feeling upset they can sometimes take their anger out on their children. After that is said and done the family needs to discuss with the child that there will be changes and this is said to be one of the biggest fears for children through divorce. With the new schedules parents need to remember to put time aside to spend with their child and stay involved in their life at school. A great way you can help a child that I found through my research is to have a third party adult. In the article How Cy-fair Parents Can Help Children Cope with Life’s Changes written by Angela Bickford, she talks with Roy Wooten, the Director of Shield Bearers. Wooten explained, “Having a third party adult – not related to the children – is helpful as many times trust issues make communication difficult with parents and other family members.” ] Granted these are just a few of the important steps to making divorce easier on a child. My suggestion to you is to first and foremost think about your child throughout the whole divorce and find ways for you to help them cope in this time of need.
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