AquaGirl Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 See my previous post-- To make a long story short, I found out that my BF of 2 years had an old profile up on a dating site - I confronted him about it, accused him of cheating (which he wasn't) and he took it down immediately. For a few days following that - he was very quiet and distant. When I asked him if he was still mad he kept saying "I dont want to talk about it" Finally Monday nite, I kept asking him what was wrong - he let loose and was VERY upset that I accused him of cheating when that was an old profile he had forgotten about. He said "I need a break from you" I asked him for how long..AT first he didn't say, then we agreed for one week. I asked him if he just flat out didn't want to see me anymore and he didn't say anything. I told him repeatedly I was sorry and I didn't want to lose him, especially as a friend because he is my best friend despite everything... Since Mon. nite I have had NC with him - no emails, texts or IM's. We are supposed to talk again on Friday but I do not want to initiate contact until I am sure he has worked thru his anger. He said he still cares about me and loves me but is not in love with me right now... I told him if he just wants to break things off, to let me know and I will come over and get my stuff . He has not asked me for the key to his house back and has not brought any of my stuff back over to me. How much time/space should I give him until his anger passes? BTW, he has had anger problems in the past (got mad when he broke his mountain bike once and said he swore off biking altogether, period - 2 weeks later he was out biking again). Thanks!
LeighG Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 " I accused him of cheating when that was an old profile he had forgotten about." Silly question, but most dating site profiles have a time stamp has to when the profile holder last logged in. Did you not see that? Did you search for him directly on the dating site, or did you "flip through the pages" of profiles. Again, these site usuallu have teh most recently visited ones at the front, and the older ones are several pages deep.
sotired Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 I wonder if he really was using that profile....It is just strange that he is so upset about it. You saw the site in his history right? So he'd been on the site recently....and now you've gotten over it and he's still upset...Something isn't quite right.
2sunny Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 he's seeing someone new - or at least attempting to date someone who he has a major interest in. you need to back away. do not respond now when he might eventually try to correspond. he's moving on. you need to do the same. he didn't want to tell you it's over.
Author AquaGirl Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 BTW --The date stamp for last time logged in was months and months ago......Also, if he was trying to see someone new, why would he take down his profile and send me the confirmation?
2sunny Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 doesn't matter. he still had the profile there which would allow him to look around the site at any given time. you stated you've dated for 2 years - not a few months ago. why are you trying to justify his bad behavior and make this ok for him when he's told you he's not interested in you right now. get busy moving forward. it's much healthier. you aren't looking at this realistically.
Author AquaGirl Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 I think I am looking at it realistically...I know him better than you do obviously.. as I have been dating him for two years. During that time he has always been faithful and honest with me....I believe in giving people second chances and forgiving them...especially when this has been a one time event in two years. It's not like this has ever been an ongoing problem
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