conehead Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Assuming the guy means it when he says it, and he's not just a jerk saying it to get some quick action, does it matter whether he said those 3 words (first to you) 3 weeks into the relationship or 3 months? I know it differs for every relationship, but my sister has always had bfs who said it early on, within a few weeks, of her relationships. And she said that if a guy truly loves you then he can't wait to express it to you and she said a guy who says it early on probably has stronger feelings for you than a guy who says it 5 months later. So I guess this is a question for the guys, does WHEN you tell a girl you love her correlate with your feelings for her?
spiracles Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 yeah, it matters. there is a difference between love and infatuation. you don't even know the girl 3 weeks in. you are both still too busy lying to each other. i would think someone who says that early on is 1. insincere 2. trying to get in her pants or 3. desperate. but what do i know?
Author conehead Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Is it possible for the guy to be sincere when he said it, but just that he mistook his crazy infatuation for love? Because I mean, can a person truly love someone after 3 weeks? That is something that sometimes makes me think. Spiracles - So how long do u think before a guys says it so that its not insincere, for sex, or desperate?
spiracles Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 fair enough, maybe insincere was not the appropriate appellation. delusional would be a better fit. in humans, as in voles, infatuation is characterized by a cascade of hormones which are manifest in a pattern of well-conserved and recognizable behaviors that have been termed “romantic love”. these include obsessively thinking about the object of infatuation, being attuned to the most minute details of their behavior and preferences, even feeling ready to sacrifice one’s life for them. but i use the word “object” intentionally because this state is not based on attraction for the person in question, but to an idealized form of the same. if you think you love someone, it is important to ask yourself why you love them. i have been infatuated with plenty of girls, but have always been aware of the fact and understood at some level that we were going to have compatibility issues, that we really had no future together, and that i was only attracted to them sexually. from a more personal standpoint, i have only said it once; four months in, and i was drunk besides. but then, i’m not someone who talks about their emotions. i think if you are sick of their **** but still want to be with them, that’s love. of course, the bigger issue is her reaction to your saying it. most girls i know don’t want too much too soon, and will freak if some guy they have been dating for a little bit told them that. so maybe this would be a question better addressed to the girls.
carhill Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 The perfect time would be on your deathbed to the woman who's spent her life loving you. No sense in investing too quickly. Keep 'em guessing In my life, those words come when I know, accept and value the person's existence and place in my life. Friends or romantic interests, it matters not. YMMV...
shoesies05 Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 im so skeptical when a guy tells me he loves me in the first few weeks... i always think there is an alterior motive or its just infatuation, so though it may be sweet- it doesnt mean that much to me. I'd say a few months later is best. Because at that point you've gotten to know one another better ( hopefully at least) and could have really developed a deep caring for one another... even so- its like a "shallow" love, not as deep as even later on. And it would mean a lot more to me at this point.
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