xpaperxcutx Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Ever since my fall on Monday I haven't had contact with artist guy be it through the phone, through text, or online messaging. I was starting to think I would sweep this one under the bed. But he's online now, and 10 minutes has passed, I'm nervous and a wreck. Should I just say " hi" or make some kind of comment? I never been like this, I'm about to cry. I don't understand why I let him affect me so much. And my insecurities are starting to show themselves.
Jaytb Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Ever since my fall on Monday I haven't had contact with artist guy be it through the phone, through text, or online messaging. I was starting to think I would sweep this one under the bed. But he's online now, and 10 minutes has passed, I'm nervous and a wreck. Should I just say " hi" or make some kind of comment? I never been like this, I'm about to cry. I don't understand why I let him affect me so much. And my insecurities are starting to show themselves. Yes you should! although by now it's almost been an hour.
likestolaugh Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 frankly I can't believe he didn't contact you to find out how you were doing after the fall...
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 frankly I can't believe he didn't contact you to find out how you were doing after the fall... He did actually, he asked me about my leg just now. I'm sorry I made such a fuss, but I have a tendency to make myself a total idiot around people I like. But I imed him and broke the ice, and now we're just chatting and making each other laugh. I think he wants to ask me out again. I have my fingers crossed.
Isolde Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Oh I hate that, when they're not IM-ing you and you wonder if you should. So awkward. I still wish he'd asked about your leg earlier though.
likestolaugh Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 He did actually, he asked me about my leg just now. I'm sorry I made such a fuss, but I have a tendency to make myself a total idiot around people I like. But I imed him and broke the ice, and now we're just chatting and making each other laugh. I think he wants to ask me out again. I have my fingers crossed. 2 things... I still think he should have asked how you were earlier, and especially WITHOUT you having to initiate contact. This isn't really indicative of his interest level per say, but it's more of an indication of his manners. also, if you want to go out with him again... why even wait to see if he asks you. If he doesn't, how about YOU ask him! There's no downside if it's what you want.
Juristhea Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Stop the IM right now. Simply write "Call me" Yep. Heheheh Go talk to him nao.
Cherished Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Please don't ask him out. You did make a mistake by contacting him. If he wanted to see you again, he would have actually called and asked to go out, sorry.
Jaytb Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Please don't ask him out. You did make a mistake by contacting him. If he wanted to see you again, he would have actually called and asked to go out, sorry. It's a mistake to talk to someone you're interested in?
Star Gazer Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 per say Argh! Stop the IM right now. Simply write "Call me" AGREED!!!
Juristhea Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 It's a mistake to talk to someone you're interested in? I dont think so, for both guys and girls...
likestolaugh Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Argh! lol, whoops... my mistake lol per se....
dreamergrl Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 2 things... I still think he should have asked how you were earlier, and especially WITHOUT you having to initiate contact. This isn't really indicative of his interest level per say, but it's more of an indication of his manners. also, if you want to go out with him again... why even wait to see if he asks you. If he doesn't, how about YOU ask him! There's no downside if it's what you want. Very much agreed! How many times have we seen here on LS that if someone is interested they will make a point to contact you.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 Very much agreed! How many times have we seen here on LS that if someone is interested they will make a point to contact you. I know, I know. And I was one of the girls that bought that book. I agree with likestolaugh as well. @xpapercut you are doing all the chasing and the guy is responding, if you feel emotionally messed up now wait until after the next time you get together with him and you give a little more of yourself and he is still not making any moves. The problem with taking the initiative with guys like this is that you will never feel at ease to be the pursuer and he is now trained to have you as the pursuer which means he will leave the ball in your court for you to make all the moves. Look at how all the threads and questions and freaky feelings you've had since Sunday and you went out with him once. It just doesn't work for women to chase men. Not trying to discourage you from being spontaneous about asking a guy out, just that when it's you doing all the chasing it is counter productive to what your own needs are, as you have already demonstrated and why you have all these feelings like you are "losing it". You're right MissC. I can understand the irrationalities and emotions that overtook me yesterday. However, that's just the thing, I've never chased a guy, and I know the adverse effect that kind of thing has on men. I've just been so used to having guys chase me that it really did surprise that I was acting like a lunatic. So yes, you're right. I will have more restraint on myself and just wait? I know my mind wouldn't be on him much these next three days because I already have plan of my own, so will that A) make him think of me knowing I haven't contacted him all weekend, or B) he doesn't notice at all?
dreamergrl Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 How about C) Move on Seriously, there's gotta be someone better out there.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 How about C) Move on Seriously, there's gotta be someone better out there. Dreamergirl, I assume this could be saved? I'm not trying to make any excuses for either him or myself, but I noticed that I was moving too fast too soon, and that might have tamed any of the surprises that comes with dating. So I'm giving myself, and him a week, just things to simmer down ( on my side) and see how it would go without me contacting him. Don't worry, C is always an option.
kizik Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 There's a girl chasing me right now. It makes me uncomfortable. Women should always be a little bit unavailable. It turns us on.
Kamille Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 How about C) Move on Paper dear! I know this will be hard but take a huge big step back. This guy has given you no reason to be this invested in him. Until he does, and that means contacting you, step back. You're putting the cart before the horse here: stop thinking there is anything to be saved... you two went on one date, you shouldn't planning or strategizing or hoping to rectify a situation. If only for your own sanity, move on. If he contacts you, good for you - and your interactions with him will be more balanced. If he doesn't get in touch with you, you'll be ok because you will already have moved on. You're not a lunatic - you've always been a very perceptive advice giver on LS, so don't let this situation make a lunatic out of you.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 There's a girl chasing me right now. It makes me uncomfortable. Women should always be a little bit unavailable. It turns us on. So what would you do kizik when you're attracted to a girl? Paper dear! I know this will be hard but take a huge big step back. This guy has given you no reason to be this invested in him. Until he does, and that means contacting you, step back. You're putting the cart before the horse here: stop thinking there is anything to be saved... you two went on one date, you shouldn't planning or strategizing or hoping to rectify a situation. If only for your own sanity, move on. If he contacts you, good for you - and your interactions with him will be more balanced. If he doesn't get in touch with you, you'll be ok because you will already have moved on. You're not a lunatic - you've always been a very perceptive advice giver on LS, so don't let this situation make a lunatic out of you. I know I know. I feel like I have to smack myself silly, or submerge myself in a tub of ice to get my senses back. Which right now, they are. I know dating is all about balance, but I think it's because I've been so stressed with school and work that I'm trying to use him as a way to divert my attention. Thank you so much Kamille for your kind words. I know that now all I can do is be me and enjoy the things that I love. I won't let him upset me anymore.
kizik Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 So what would you do kizik when you're attracted to a girl? Well, thanks for asking! When I am into a girl, I drop little hang-out hints. They range from vague to specific. "I hope we can get together sometime" is one. Another is "What are you up to this weekend?" In any case, I give it one shot, and one shot only. If she aint pickin up what I'm putting down - next! There are lots of chicks out there, and I'm not gonna waste my time trying to get one to like me that, well, doesn't. And you shouldn't either.
dreamergrl Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Dreamergirl, I assume this could be saved? I'm not trying to make any excuses for either him or myself, but I noticed that I was moving too fast too soon, and that might have tamed any of the surprises that comes with dating. So I'm giving myself, and him a week, just things to simmer down ( on my side) and see how it would go without me contacting him. Don't worry, C is always an option. You could do this, but keep in mind that he may not contact you. How will that make you feel? I know how the hoping, wishing, and waiting sucks! I also know how much it sucks when bam, nothing happens, and it's done.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 2, 2009 Author Posted May 2, 2009 Well, thanks for asking! When I am into a girl, I drop little hang-out hints. They range from vague to specific. "I hope we can get together sometime" is one. Another is "What are you up to this weekend?" In any case, I give it one shot, and one shot only. If she aint pickin up what I'm putting down - next! There are lots of chicks out there, and I'm not gonna waste my time trying to get one to like me that, well, doesn't. And you shouldn't either. But that's really easy to pick up on kizik.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted May 2, 2009 Author Posted May 2, 2009 You could do this, but keep in mind that he may not contact you. How will that make you feel? I know how the hoping, wishing, and waiting sucks! I also know how much it sucks when bam, nothing happens, and it's done. I really love that song, but going through the whole sitting, wishing, and waiting does suck...
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