SummerLady Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 My good friend is divorced like me and just started dating someone new and she really likes him, they hit it off big time, I am so happy for her. Been dating 2 months. She just informed me today that he is from TX which is quite far from the NorthEast and he keeps making references to missing his kids and his old neighborhood. He never said he was moving. They are getting along fine but she said should I continue seeing this guy, if I get attached and he moved that would kill me. Plus this happened to me years ago and she remembers. I do not know what to tell her. I went through this and it was horrible. Thoughts??? She cannot move due to her kids..I was thinking she just point blank ask him are you going to move, they seem serious to me..
alphamale Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I do not know what to tell her. .. tell her that everyones future is uncertain giggity giggity
thewingwoman Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 She needs to ask him about his intentions. A straight forward conversation (not argument, make sure she tries to keep her emotions in check) can answer a lot of questions, and that communication needs to happen now. If he does intend to move back, she needs to start planning for what she's going to do... Is she going to live with a LDR or move on? It'll make it easier on her if she starts dealing with what may be now. Does he frequently visit his hometown and kids? If not, maybe she should suggest he take a trip home for a week or so. As someone that previously moved away from my family and hometown, a visit can cure the homesickness, and surprisingly make you appreciate where you're currently living now.
delajoonal Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 if your 'friend' is dating this guy and IT is pretty serious, WHY can't SHE ask him if he is moving or NOT? i don't get it??? really, it sounds almost high school`ish:o not to be rude...BUT how old are you both? i am just so curious as to why a GROWN WOMAN can't ask her boyfriend IF he is moving out of town or not?:eek: and why can't she show any emotions? that is ridiculous...maybe IF she acted on her true emotions, her boyfriend might have second thoughts about moving... her EMOTIONS might make all the difference in the world regarding 'their' future... maybe he needs to KNOW HOW she really feels...? kids, no kids, things can always be worked out...there is this thing called transporation, planes, trains and automobiles...LOL so if they are 'IN LOVE' or even just CARE about each other...things can be worked out.. ONE day at a time:love:
dgiirl Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 He never said he was moving. Hmm, so he never said he was moving? She's just playing this "what if" game in her head? What if he moves back? What if he leaves? How will she'll ever be able to handle it? Maybe she's not ready to date then... like ever. I mean, what if in two months he crosses a street and gets hit by a bus and dies? She'll be heart broken. Maybe she should just end it all right now before that ever happens! There are no guarantees in life. She either enjoys his companionship now and see how far this relationship goes, or she dooms herself to be single for the rest of her life because of fear of the "what if's". If she was my friend I would tell her no one knows how long their relationships will ever last. They could last only a week, a month, a year, 30 years. We just never know. Some relationships are meant to last a short time, other's are meant to last a longer time. But that's life and each relationship can help us become better people and give us enjoyment in our lives. I would tell her to stop worrying about the future and live in the now. If she's happy right now, enjoy it, embrace it, and appreciate it. When and if the day comes where the relationship must end, then deal with it. Life's too short to worry all the time about something that might never happen. Live and be happy!
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