SGB8098 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Karma: 0 My x and I have been together for a little over 2 years. I'm 28 he's 31. he does pot , I don't.Long story short. I broke up with him becuase i felt like i was hanging on like ajacket to a coat hanger waiting for something different to the relationship to happen. Then he finally admitted he messed up and he wanted to work on things. At the time of when he told me that I was in business law doing great and i sid let me finish what I'm doing and I do want to work on th erelationship . So happy he did too. So to be honest we have not gotten back together but we had talked everyday and I still do love him I genuinely do. Within the past month my moms cancer has returned, my 2 aunts had to be rushed to the hospital, and my grandmother too. With everything that had happend I just automatically missed him and on a sat I drove to his house to surprise him to tak ehim to breakfast, Well, it did not turn out well. Sinc ehe has been without a job he has been drinking more and when i drove up surprisingly that startled him and he told me I just was so hurt cause he was the first person i wanted to get compassion from. Then, I sent an appology text to him and calls and he was busy working for his frends that he said he was too buusy to o hang so I sent him an I miss you and want to reconcile card. All he said was is that he ppreciates it. I went to his house this past weekend and he grilled dinner and we hung out and got reaquainted. Should i confront him and say are we on the same page? I am nervous about seemin gtoo pushy I don't want to come that way but at the same time I don't want to just hang around. I know he is frustrated no job, low finances. What may I do to let him know i hope we both want to reconcile and rebuild our relationship?
Sonic_chaos Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 To be honest, id does sound like your both on the same page, BUT id still hang in the there and not push it. I am at the moment also unemployed and feel what he is going thro at the moment. As a man *and i know this sounds wrong in society today* he feels he should be earning money and still probably feels obliged to take you out etc if you was to get back together. So my advice would be play it cool. Get to know each other again, feel at ease with each other again at least for a few weeks, See if he makes the first move. If not then id drop some subtle hints *or not so subtle* as to where you both are going with it. if you both feel it, im sure the question will pop up before that. It did with my ex, 2 dates in we both looked at each other and basically said.. well what you reckon.. And thats all she said.. I knew what she was on about. And obviously said, Im good if you are with it.. And it started.. We both just knew.. It also sounds like you both what some emotional support as well, which will be good in the long term, especially for you if your family is ill. But i dont know if its a good idea to be starting out rebuilding a relationship and also in the middle of needing support. rebuilding needs alot of time and the support might get in the way. Also some times the support can cause friction, irritation and disagrements. He needs getting out the hole, with the drink, pot and feeling sorry for himself. Im no saint. But i know they arent the way to go about it. All depressants.. Like i said, i keep telling myself there are much worse off people in this world then ones with a few relationship problems and unemployed. I feel lucky sometimes. Im not sure why he was so hurt by you going around and suprising him. If you had been in contact with a while, then if my ex came around id be thrilled to see her. That wont happen as im still giving her space etc. but i dont think you had any reason to appologise. So you didnt catch him at his best. ultimately if you both love each other, it shouldnt matter if he looked like a tramp or a million dollars.. I hope you can both work it out. keep us posted and good luck with everything in your life
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