confuse25 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 My gf is constantly updating her facebook every hour or so with really meaningless stuff like ... i'm eating xx ... taking a shower ... etc. and it's annoyed the heck out of me. Sometimes, she would repeat saying the same thing but alter one word just so her status is updated. I think it's really stupid, indiscreet, and attention seeking and I told her how I feel about it. She would stop for 1 day but return to her facebook routine with even more fervor as if to make up for lost time. It has taken a toll in our relationship since I get annoyed so much sometimes that I would try to ignore talking to her for several days. I don't want to give her any more attention than the attention she is trying to seek from everyone and anyone. Has anyone experienced this?
bean1 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 How old is she? I got rid of FB too because of the attention whores. I don't even get invited to some parties anymore because I can't be added to the "invite list". It's as if people who don't have FB don't exist (and we're all 25-35 years old!).
sotired Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 That's a bit ridiculous. I don't even have a facebook...I don't get the point. So many people add all these "friends" that they hardly know in real life...and then think people care about what they are doing. I have a myspace, but I check it maybe once a week and the only reason I haven't deleted it is because there are some old friends that use it, and it's an easy way to keep in touch. I'd dump the girl..doesn't sound like you are that invested anyway. People like that are major attention seekers and I can't imagine FB is the only outlet for it.
Author confuse25 Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 She's 30. It's frustrating to me because I thought that she would stop after knowing how annoyed by it I was, but I guess not. It seems that her random comment posting is more important than having me think these things about her.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I won't consider a facebook addict as a long term relationship prospect. I even asked a date if they had a facebook or myspace page. When she said she does...well...I didn't tell her flat out, "this isn't going to work"....I phased myself out of the dating process with her. You are dealing with the attention "wh0re" complex it may seem, while my beef with FB/MS is too much secrecy seems to go on with it.
conehead Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 If you deleted yourself off fb so u wont see any of her updates, would that still bother you? Or is it just the mere fact that she does it even if you dont have to see it? How long you 2 been dating?
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Its prob the fact shes obsessively updating her every bowl movement just about to total strangers on a web site? Rather then taking 5 Min's off and cuddling with the poor guy but I dunno just a guess there. Don't get me wrong I LOVE the Internet with a Passion but it has to have a time and a place.
Mahatma Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I have a couple guy friends that do this. It is so annoying. It is as if they think there is someone who is monitoring their facebook pages who really cares that they "are eating cheerios," "Driving to the gym," "at the gym," "done working out," "eating after working out..." They are both very insecure people.
Athena Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 BTW, you should separate what you do from what she does... if it is none of your business, why would you want her to stop her actions? There's nothing inherently 'wrong' or 'bad' about what she is doing... it's just your annoyance with her over something that really, is none of your business... Seriously, you do you, and let her do her. Stop trying to change her.
Athena Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I won't consider a facebook addict as a long term relationship prospect. I even asked a date if they had a facebook or myspace page. When she said she does...well...I didn't tell her flat out, "this isn't going to work"....I phased myself out of the dating process with her. You are dealing with the attention "wh0re" complex it may seem, while my beef with FB/MS is too much secrecy seems to go on with it. I canceled my account about a month ago -- got too many requests from 'long ago people' who didn't mean that much to me then, and certainly not now. It's overrated. It was nice to have my kids on my list, maybe even when their friends put me on their list, but hey -- I outgrew that! lol
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 BTW, you should separate what you do from what she does... if it is none of your business, why would you want her to stop her actions? There's nothing inherently 'wrong' or 'bad' about what she is doing... it's just your annoyance with her over something that really, is none of your business... Seriously, you do you, and let her do her. Stop trying to change her. If she dose this in her own time when hes not around fair enough but it sounds like shes neglecting their relationship all together and choosing to do this instead? I could be wrong but thats the feeling I get to me when you enter into a adult relationship with some one its nice to actually take their feelings wants/needs into consideration as well no? I think it is his business to some degree...
bluechocolate Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 but hey -- I outgrew that! lol Agreed. Been there, tried it & I think it's probably fun if you're say, under 21 ? That's why this: She's 30. I think, would bother me. Then again I can, & do, sit on the computer for hours a day sometimes. So who I am to talk ?
Author confuse25 Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Thanks for your replies everyone. I want to put this into perspective. I think I find it annoying because it is my gf that is doing it and I care about what she does. I have friends who update their blogs/facebook incessantly too but I could care less because I don't follow my friends. You could say that I have no business over these things and you would be right, but I'm entitled to my own opinion so I think I will call it quit. I have dated my gf for 5 years. One of the reason that I respect her was that I thought she was a thoughtful and discreet lady. She started blogging 2 years ago after she met a couple of friends who blogged and I was fine because she wrote some interesting stuffs. However, since the past year, thought provoking blogs evolved to meaningless babbles several times aday that served no purpose other than attention grabber, I have lost some respect for her. She had changed to someone whom I'm not sure I'll be interested in dating anymore. I told her multiple times about how I feel but nothing seems to change. Yeah, I have no business so I think I will really make it none of my business and take a step back.
northstar1 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Agreed. Been there, tried it & I think it's probably fun if you're say, under 21 ? That's why this: She's 30. I think, would bother me. Then again I can, & do, sit on the computer for hours a day sometimes. So who I am to talk ? She's 30 and still obsessing over FB every day? That's kinda sad really.
CandyGirlXO Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 My gf is constantly updating her facebook every hour or so with really meaningless stuff like ... i'm eating xx ... taking a shower ... etc. and it's annoyed the heck out of me. Sometimes, she would repeat saying the same thing but alter one word just so her status is updated. I think it's really stupid, indiscreet, and attention seeking and I told her how I feel about it. She would stop for 1 day but return to her facebook routine with even more fervor as if to make up for lost time. It has taken a toll in our relationship since I get annoyed so much sometimes that I would try to ignore talking to her for several days. I don't want to give her any more attention than the attention she is trying to seek from everyone and anyone. Has anyone experienced this? YUP!! My BF does the same thing, and he is 29! He is always updating it, even when we are out eating, it doesn't matter that I am there. It is sooooooo annoying, and I do not understand it at all. I mean he has a lot of friends and family on there that comment on what everyone is doing, but he is constantly checking it. I would say every 10 minutes! Makes me feel like he doesn't even like spending time with me.
northstar1 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 YUP!! My BF does the same thing, and he is 29! He is always updating it, even when we are out eating, it doesn't matter that I am there. It is sooooooo annoying, and I do not understand it at all. I mean he has a lot of friends and family on there that comment on what everyone is doing, but he is constantly checking it. I would say every 10 minutes! Makes me feel like he doesn't even like spending time with me. Wow, that's also very sad Candy. You need to tell him to grow the (&*(& up and live in the real world with you, not the internet world. Honestly, no one's life is that interesting that they need to update their page all day, or twitter about the tear inducing minutaie of their lives. What has happened to our world - it's very sad.
39388 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I see nothing wrong with having a facebook or myspace account. What is a problem is when someone makes updating it too high a priority.
conehead Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 confuse, ask yourself, if you didnt read all her udpates, does it affect your relationsihp otherwise? ie does she update it using her iphone while hanging out with you? Or is it only when she's by herself at her computer? For what it's worth, it's nothing to take personally. In other words, her fbing is not a reflection of her love for you. I think it's more of an obsession...almost like workaholics and alcoholics....she can't control herself. It is however something that can be fixed and it's usually a phase...she will get sick of her obsession soon enough. It's up to you to decide whehter she is worht sticking it out with. I personally have fb but rarely use it.
normal Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 LOL i log into myspace once a week or so and i can see people's updates like that in the bulletins and stuff and the bulletin part is flooded with stupid crap like "so and so is watching house" "is going to the bathroom" "is cooking dinner" how do people even have time for this? it annoys me too, trust me. and i don't even date someone obsessed with any of the social websites lol
Isolde Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I don't really see what age has to do with it. Internet addiction is a rampant phenomenon across all groups of people. And it sucks. I know because I battle it myself. It's not so much because I don't know what else to do with my time, as the fact that I do have to spend most of my time working on the computer, and the Internet is right there.
briannajill Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I'd be really upset if someone stopped dating me just because I had a Facebook page. I think that's totally lame.
Author confuse25 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 We are long distance so we only see each other a couple of times a year so sometimes the only chance of me connecting with her is through phone and email. I talk with her on the phone and there are numerous times where I can tell that she didn't hear a word I said because she's online chatting or posting stuffs while talking to me. There are times where I asked her to look up some things for me and she said she doesn't have time, but soon enough once I look at her blogs, she definitely has time to chit chat and post comments back and forth, and when I confront her about it, she lies. Nowadays, if I want the most updated news about her, I don't need to check my voicemail or email, all I need to do is log into facebook and I would see what's she's doing up to the hour ... etc... She is the cutest girl and responds with the nicest replies to you if you comment on her 100th pics that she posted online, and yet if I started posting any pics of mine online and other girls come in to comment, she will get jealous. You guys get the idea. I'm tired of having to compete for her attention against some random strangers on the net and this has been going on for over a year. PS: I have a facebook page too. I don't think anyone has complained to me about my time spent on it, and if someone close to me does complain, I know what's more important in my life.
Athena Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Well then, this new information changes things doesn't it? What you are saying is that she has less time for you because of her addiction to online activities... and you are feeling less worthy in her eyes because of her preferences. I think it is highly disrespectful to have her chatting with another person online while on the phone with you, to the point where she doesn't hear what you have to say! You should simply say, "I see you are doing more important stuff, gotta go" and hang up, until she realizes she needs to focus on making you a priority in your communications, especially since you are conducting a LDR.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Oooookay. While I understand the annoyance of the OP, and I would feel the same way... I am nearly 30 and I have a FB. I have several family members and it's usually the only way I can feel close to them since they live several states away from me and I hate the telephone. I have also reconnected with friends I haven't seen in awhile and appreciate hearing what's going on in their lives. I also have a group of women that I have been online friends with for 5 years on FB (we met on a forum). I don't get the people bashing it in general. Not everybody uses it for attention. I use it to connect with people and love reading updates, seeing pictures, reading stories, etc. On average, I usually update my status about once or twice a day if I'm actually doing anything. I don't update with meaningless drivel about eating, sleeping, or pooping. Everybody does that stuff - who cares? I guess I just wanted to say - Nearly 30 and PROUD to have a FB!
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