heartbroken720 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I had posted about my wedding that was cancelled and the wedding was suppose to be May 16th. I found out a week after I left our house he had posted my engagement ring on craigslist for sale. This past weekend I have been out and about just going to the pool and beach and enjoying the great weather. Saturday 04-25-09 I went out with a friend just to dinner it was suppose to be me and her but her boyfriend decided to come. He was hanging out with my ex but he had left so he wanted to join us. That was awkward but I told my friend I did not mind because I do not have a problem with him. After dinner I took her to her car wich was at my house because since my ex was at her house I didn't want to run the chance of running into him. Well, I go to drop her off and he pulls into the driveway...I have had a couple to drink and I was crying so when he pulled in I left. I felt like a kid running away when I did that but I know with him being drunk and me being buzzed and emotional nothing good would of come from us talking. Well, she stayed and talked to him and he pured his guts saying that since I was the one that left the house that I should have been the one that should contact him and that he has been drunk a lot and not eating and it was tearing him up and he had a chacne to hook up with a chick at the bar twice but he had me in the back of his head and the thought of a reconciliation so he did not act on it (That hurt so bad hearing that!!!). Well he ended up calling me Saturday and he was druck and left a message because I did not answer I knew it would be best if I held my ground until we are both sober to talk. My mother's birthday was Monday the 27th and I went to see her and then later on in the night I was listening to the wedding song he had chosen which was Garth Brooks To Make you Feel my Love and I was crying...he called but I did not answer and then he called again and I guess I was just scared so again no answer....well I listened to the messages and he said that he was glad I was taking things so well he would not have had it any other way and that it will only get better from this point on...well I left the place I have been staying and I drove to the house to see him. He was on the bed and I would tell he was crying and I told him I was there to talk to him but he said that he was too vulnerable..so I respected that and I was on my way out but I went back in the room because being that close to him after 2 weeks I just wanted to touch him again so I asked if I could just have a hug before I go and he said please no..so then I turned off the lights and I left. I called him yesterday and I caught him sober and I told him that I was not taking things as easy as he thinks...I DID NOT mention the ring posting that helped me keep my NC...but I told him I do love him and I miss him and he said the same but yesterday was the day he hit rock bottom and he was sorry for calling me...he said things may have been different if I did answer the phone to talk to him...I told him that I came to see him after I got the message I was just away from the phone...he said that he is starting to think that things are happeneing for a reason and there was a reason why I was not near my phone when he called...(now I regret not answering it was stupid of me but hey I went and seen him in person!) Well,he told me that he was planning on going to MS to work with his cousin off shore and I asked him honestly tell did he think that there was a chance for a reconciliation and he said yes but it would be a long time before that would happen becuase he is going on the signs of things like this happen for a reason...I asked him if he was happy and he said yes at first and he thought that we had a chance but he is not sure now. We ended the call and I told him to let me know when he will be leaving and to keep in contact...I did tell him I love him and I am losing my best friend and I still would like him to be apart of my life and he said the same. I just don't know what I should do because he will be moving out of my house this Friday and then I have no idea what the future will hold...I am just hurting at the thought of him being with someone else but I know that he may need to be in other relationships before he will know if he needs to be with me again but I am trying not to hold onto that thought because I may move on 1 of these days....it is just so hard I LOVE HIM so much and I MISS HIM so much..I felt like I have been ok but now I feel like I am going backwards.
Author heartbroken720 Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 No Replies ( I am willing to take any advice right now....even if it's stop posting and get over it...Should I wait on him or should I just keep doing what I am doing...he said that there is a possibilty of a reconcilitaion but it would take a while so to put my mind at ease he said for the time being no there will not be a chance and this happened yesterday. I am not sure if he said that because he was hurt...or if he really meant it...sounded like he is on a mission to figure things out...but still I can't believe everything is happening so fast...we were together for 5 1/2 years. Any suggestions please...I know I should not wait forever but since it seems as though he has had an opp to hook up and he did not take it...does that mean he is going to now???
LeighG Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 My advice i...do everything you feel is right, so you can live with no regrets and what ifs. Just temper that with dignity. I suspect that deep down, you already know the answer.
scootncash Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Hi I really feel for you right now and its obvious that you love him and hurting so terribly. *HUGS* The thing about breakups are that they happen for all kinds of reasons. Some of which a few unlucky ones wont get closure or ever know why. But regardless, they hurt and its a total rip your life right out from under you emotion. I know what its like honestly, you think about them constantly, you cant focus on a dang thing, you dont want to eat, you cry, you wonder, you cant seem to function, and it completely takes over your life. But with all that pain please try to realize that breakups can actually be a good thing. It takes a lot of work and self realization but sometimes there are silver linnings in the clouds. Take this time to go work on you. Practice Happiness. Edgar Casey once said take it an eyelash at a time. In other words, dont try to focus on dealing with everything all at once. Instead, take it an eyelash at a time, a minute of pain at a time. I would feel intense pain then take a deep breath and say ok for one minute I will focus on this and then find something else to occupy me. It got to a point where I would allow myself a certain amount of time daily to think about it and move on with my daily life. Its hard, I wont kid you but it helps and it does get better. Time away also gives him a chance to think things through from a different perspective. It actually gives you both a chance to breathe and really look at your relationship. I dont mean focus on just the bad. Its not healthy, but I do mean look at the bad, figure what went wrong, how did you handle it and how did he handle it. I understand about forced singleness but dont look at it from a negative view, instead, look at it as an important and much needed part of your relationship. Its really a time to learn who we are as indviduals, to look at our own desires, face our inner demons, value our inner strengths, and a time to make the necessary changes to becomming a better person and aiding the ability to return to a relathionship much healthier and being able to love for the long run. Good Luck and keep moving forward one eyelash at a time. Making yourself better makes you more attractive and makes him really drawn to you!
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