BlueHarvest Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 "Sometimes you just have to like talking to people regardless of where you are and stop hoping to find a date whenever you talk to somebody. " Someone posted that in a thread recently. I'm trying to figure out how to get into the mentality of just talking to people of the opposite sex and not hoping for a date, just chatting and being friends with them. I always seem to label girls as "dateable" or "not dateable". And then my thoughts on the matter manifest themselves in how I treat them. (not in a bad way, but I get really shy around girls I'm interested in and open up to ones I'm not....) It's wierd like that...
Bejita463 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Just talk. Don't expect anything out of a conversation with anyone, but talk to them. Don't try to be something you aren't, but don't shy away from talking to folk. Chances are excellent they are just as reserved about starting a conversation with a stranger as you are, but you'll learn pretty quickly that a surprising number of people will chat with you if you give them the chance. Maybe you'll talk for a few minutes and never see the person again. Maybe you'll talk for an hour with the same effect. Maybe it will pan out differently. If nothing else, your interpersonal skills will improve alongside your confidence. I think you'd be pleasantly surprised.
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 You probably won't like my answer, but I found that getting older helps adjust this POV. I used to do the same thing with guys. Now I see them as just people. I'm 10 months shy of 30. I'm curious, though - what happened to the NVLD GF of 5-6 months??
Mahatma Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Talk to girls like you have a girlfriend. ...and like you are faithful to that girlfriend...
Author BlueHarvest Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 You probably won't like my answer, but I found that getting older helps adjust this POV. I used to do the same thing with guys. Now I see them as just people. I'm 10 months shy of 30. I'm curious, though - what happened to the NVLD GF of 5-6 months?? I'll let you know later, either through PM or If I think I can make something useful and constructive about it, in a post. Still at work for a few more hours...gotta love the daily grind.
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