385 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Title says all. Say you aren't one of those metro/trendy/artsy guys. Do you call your significant other often just to talk? Or do you let your significant other call you solely just to talk? Now of course everybody calls their significant other just to talk sometimes, but how often do guys do it vs. girls.
Jake Barnes Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 No youll be friendzoned Keep friendships and relationships seperate. There has to be a lot of emotional distance to keep the sex good
Juristhea Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Title says all. Say you aren't one of those metro/trendy/artsy guys. Do you call your significant other often just to talk? Or do you let your significant other call you solely just to talk? Now of course everybody calls their significant other just to talk sometimes, but how often do guys do it vs. girls. My fiance often calls me in random hours just to talk to me, whether I'm at work or doing something else. He's also busy with his work but somehow the thought that he can still talk to me even though he's busy is nice.
Sam Spade Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 No youll be friendzoned Keep friendships and relationships seperate. There has to be a lot of emotional distance to keep the sex good Words of wisdom here, kind of because they don't really apply after a couple of months . It's a hard balance. I call every other evening to talk smack about how was your day, was it a good day or a bad day, well what kind of day was it ?
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 My BF is definitely not metro. And we talk every night and every morning. I call him in the mornings, he calls me at night. We like talking about our days to each other and usually end up chatting about other stuff like thoughts, beliefs, etc. I like it.
Juristhea Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Sometimes we end up talking about even the most nonsense of all nonsense, which ends up being silly and it would be the reason why we talk for hours over the phone. It's not being needy or clingy which makes a guy call the girl at any given time, but I guess some guys just like to keep in touch with the one they love, you know what I mean?
dressing up Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I'm a female and I don't particularly like to talk on the phone, whether it's with guys I like or not. I like the gesture but as long as it's been established that the guy I'm dating is into me, I don't necessarily need them to call me a lot.
Woggle Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Nope. Real men only use grunts and pointing when communicating with women. Just kidding. Of course I love to talk to her. We live with each other so there isn't that much phone time but when we are away we call each other everyday.
Juristhea Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Nope. Real men only use grunts and pointing when communicating with women. Just kidding. Of course I love to talk to her. We live with each other so there isn't that much phone time but when we are away we call each other everyday. LOL at cavemen communication. Do you beat your chest as well to signify intensity and sincerity? J/K..
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Real men only use grunts and pointing when communicating with women. Don't forget the obscene gestures.
Juristhea Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Don't forget the obscene gestures. Ah yes. Those too. But on a serious note, girls just love it when their guys make the first move on being noticed....
prettybaby Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 No youll be friendzoned Keep friendships and relationships seperate. There has to be a lot of emotional distance to keep the sex good I don't understand the logic behind that. What does sex have to do with talking on the phone to share how your day was and such? If you have a significant other, then that's what you do in a relationship: you communicate, you bond, and your share little things and keep each other updated about what you're up to, even if it doesn't seem very important. I mean, ultimately, this whole tactic of keeping an emotional distance to keep the sex good isn't a very constructive logic. How are you supposed to establish a strong and stable relationship where 2 individuals know and trust each other completely? You'll eventually have to open up a bit and share your life, unless your goal is to keep dating people who offer good sex, without ever settling down. That being said, my guy calls me a few times a week. Sometimes twice, sometimes 4 times, it depends on what we're both up to, etc. I think it's a nice gesture. I'm often busy with work, so it's always nice to realize that he's thinking about me and cares about how I'm doing. I also enjoy hearing about his day and such. It strengthens our bond so to speak. I should probably call him more often myself now that I think of it. I should also add, in reference to the quote above: I don't find that emotional and physical closeness alters our sex life.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 For the most part, I would think they do it only after they are good and locked in. Calling and chit chatting before the relationship is even established can lead to the friendzone. Not always, but a good deal of the time.
loser101 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 No youll be friendzoned Keep friendships and relationships seperate. There has to be a lot of emotional distance to keep the sex good I'm guessing you haven't been in a serious relationship yet
loser101 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Title says all. Say you aren't one of those metro/trendy/artsy guys. Do you call your significant other often just to talk? Or do you let your significant other call you solely just to talk? Now of course everybody calls their significant other just to talk sometimes, but how often do guys do it vs. girls. I wouldn't take a man seriously if he didn't call me sometimes just to talk. I'm not into metrosexuals/trendy types/etc, I just like normal, ordinary guys. If I feel that he has communication hang-ups though, that makes me think hard about our future. IME most men enjoy making that call in the evening while chilling out with a beer or whatever.
Lucky_One Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 He calls me in the morning on his drive to see clients, and usually calls me afterwards to report on how the meeting went. He calls me on his way home from the office, and it's a toss-up as to who calls at bedtime. Last night we called each other 8 times, because of the Capitals and Hurricanes wins. We ARE friends, and we are lovers, and we are very happy and very confident with each other. Keeping a tally of who calls who in order to maintain emotional distance for good sex? Puh-lease.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Even my most emotionally hot and cold boyfriend called me daily to talk about our day.
carhill Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 For the most part, I would think they do it only after they are good and locked in. Calling and chit chatting before the relationship is even established can lead to the friendzone. Not always, but a good deal of the time. The voice of wisdom speaks. My life experience (and female friends) matches up. So, answering the OP, specifically, since it speaks about a SO rather than someone one is dating, I would say yes. I look forward to being with a woman who enjoys aural bonding as much as I do. My wife seems to bond better through shared silences
bean1 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Keep friendships and relationships seperate. There has to be a lot of emotional distance to keep the sex good Sex good - for who? Certainly not the woman. You've never browsed the divorce forum, have you?
Juristhea Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I guess topic over the phone is also a factor for being FRIENDZONED.
carhill Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 He's not talking about being married sex, rather dating sex. There is, from a man's POV, something to be said for emotional distance and the effect on his psycho-sexual MO. So, while I wouldn't disagree with his POV regarding dating, I think it's an unhealthy process in a LTR, unless both parties like drama and the guessing game type of R/M. Different strokes
bean1 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Fair enough carhill, but I think once you consider someone your 'significant other', then sex + emotional distance = disaster!
carhill Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 If you re-read my post, you'll find I'm in agreement. My personal philosophy is one of continuity of bonding. I don't play those drama games. Hence, I'm attractive to a much smaller subset of women, the larger portion being used to the drama and chasing a man's emotional attention. That said, much like with a woman "giving up" sex too early in the bonding process, a man "giving up" his emotions too early, as evidenced by "emo" talk, can create an unbalanced situation, or, even worse, dump him into the friendzone. I'm very well acquainted with the friendzone; in fact, you could say I'm an expert on it That's why I see the validity in the majority of male opinion in this thread. I can yield to it but not necessarily accept it as my personal truth.
Trialbyfire Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Title says all. Say you aren't one of those metro/trendy/artsy guys. Do you call your significant other often just to talk? Or do you let your significant other call you solely just to talk? Now of course everybody calls their significant other just to talk sometimes, but how often do guys do it vs. girls.My SO calls me daily, sometimes multiple times a day, to chit chat or communicate something, and has done so since we started dating. So, yes, he does call, just to chit chat. And he's about as alpha as it gets, albeit not the rude, beer guzzling, genitalia scratching, trailer park yokel!
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