crackerjax9 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 my boyfriend of 11 months has always been insecure and jealous about my past relationships..hes always starting fights over exes or guys i hooked up with five years ago.. i have no contact with any of them and dont understand why he is so insecure..its hurting our relationship and were always fighting.. i love him and dont get why he keeps doing this or how to help him stop..
Mahatma Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Pretty short post of you have offered... What bugs him the most? Is it just sex with past guys in general? Or is it the individual acts with other guys in the past? Or maybe he knows the guys? Can you give an example of how it is affecting the relationship?
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 The guy is not sure of himself - therefore he questions what it might be that you see in him compared to these past guys. You could tell him that the past is the past for a reason and you'd like to focus on the HERE and NOW with him. The more he brings up the past, the harder it is to enjoy your time with him. So if he's going to continue to pick fights about it, he'll continue to push you away. Is that really what he wants? (Seriously - ask him.)
Juristhea Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 The guy is not sure of himself - therefore he questions what it might be that you see in him compared to these past guys. You could tell him that the past is the past for a reason and you'd like to focus on the HERE and NOW with him. The more he brings up the past, the harder it is to enjoy your time with him. So if he's going to continue to pick fights about it, he'll continue to push you away. Is that really what he wants? (Seriously - ask him.) I admit I do get jealous everytime I ask my fiance about his previous romances but its never really a reason for us to start arguing. I end up being jealous a little because he answers truthfully, even to how intimate they were and his sex life before he met me. If a guy can't handle a girl's personal luggage like past and previous relationships, then I dont see why you still have to be with the guy. You'll only end up arguing even more than usual...
Author crackerjax9 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 i was always honest with him and was never scared to tell him my past...he gets mad at me for every single guy that ive hooked up with .and its not that many! he brings someone up every other week and it really frustrates me
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 When he next brings it up, just laugh and say "goodness, you really do have a problem with this, don't you? Well, listen, I have no problem with the fact that you have dated before, so you either have to get over it or deal with it. You being angry doesn't change the fact I have dated before. can you change it? really? So, change it. No you can't, can you? So this really is your problem, so move on." And change the subject. He has jealousy and anger issues, but they are his, not yours. But you are letting him make them yours. The thing to do is to just not get drawn into his controlling attitude.
colosseum Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 IMO, sounds like a really insecure jerk. I'm sure he's a great guy, but how inconsiderate of him. Don't deal with that. Just saying. My 2 cents.
bluechocolate Posted May 4, 2009 Posted May 4, 2009 he brings someone up every other week and it really frustrates me Big red flag. I'm surprised you've lasted 11 months. If he wants a never-been-kissed-virgin tell him to go find one & leave you alone.
Author crackerjax9 Posted May 4, 2009 Author Posted May 4, 2009 im just so attached to him i cant let myself walkk away.. i want to i wish i had the strength to but i cant
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