john.ie Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 New here Appreciate any advice I've a short version and a detailed version of my story. Then email correspondence. I don't believe this opportunity is dead and I would like some help if possible, to resurrect it as I have nothing to lose - and I dig this girl. Location : Dublin Ireland last week SHORT VERSION ------------------- Girl approached me in a bar after watching match on TV - I'd had a few drinks as she did Talked for 2 hours. She's out of long term r'ship. Really clicked - tension meant there was never a dull moment. She feels conscious about being out as a single again. Ended abruptly. Her friends pulled her away. No phone number. A week later, I wrote her letter from salvaged details I recalled. Included my email addr. She emailed back, agreed a date & suggested restaurant Date went well enough. was impressed with letter. Lasted 3 hours last Thurs night. Crackling tension again. No dull moment. I was attentive to what she was saying and vice versa. Conscious she's baggage emerging from long term r'ship & ok with that. Paid 50 euros for meal, saying I'd like to pay even tho' she offered to pay half Trying to be "different" and not too keen, I didn't ask for phone number ( had her email ) Walked her to lift she had waiting, I said I'd see her again leaving it with a peck on cheek. Prob had one glass of red wine too many ( doh! RED wine= black teeth). Anyway sent email 3 days later ( see below ) I get email from her saying she doesn't want any more dates and wants to be on her own for a while. Ok I can take that on the chin if it's true. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I'm not fully sure it's a " I don't really like you", because I know she's genuinely a bit perturbed and confused coming out of this long term serious relationship thing.. Last thing I want is to be used as a re-entry to singles scene guinea pig or go chasing into a blind alley, ( I will chase if there's light at the end of it tho'!) but I don't do this often with other Irish girls (by choice I prefer foreign girls). I like this girl and am willing to invest effort to give it a shot / allow her wait for a while. Any advice greatly appreciated in how I should handle any reply to her email.... Email Correspondence at end of this mail below THANKS MORE DETAILS skip if too long please! ------------ I met this really good looking girl in a bar in Dublin. I was watching a soccer game on TV on my own. At the end, she broke from her group of friends who were nearby and came up to me, fascinated by the fact I watched the whole thing on my own. She'd had a few drinks, but we ended up talking for 2 hours. Background - she's just out of a long term r'ship with some guy who just plays too much playstation it sounds like Then her friend came and dragged her away. Tried to get phone no. at the end, but she said she wasn't into texting. It ended abruptly, sadly. She told me enough details about where she worked ( teacher in a school ) and her name for me to decide a week later to write her a letter...I found address of school online. I said I admired her bravery for coming up to me and would be privileged if she's accompany me on a date, outlining a few possibilities. I included my email but not phone no. just to be a bit different.. She got letter after her school's Easter hols - and replied back on a Tue arranging a dinner date for Thurs. I was delighted. So I got there earlyish - a tapas restaurant. Greeted her with a peck on the cheek and seat I'd kept I thought it went well - lasted almost 3 hours: 8 to 11- prob too long in retrospect and maybe one too many glasses of red wine ( 3 ) for me. Doh! red wine = black teeth I realised afterwards. She put a lot of lip balm on her lips intermittently - drawing a lot of attention to them which I couldn't help look at. should have picked up on this at the time I think, and mentioned it but subconscious shyness or reticence must have prevented me talked about a lot about my job her job, school, families,hobbies, etc and there was a nice sexy tension all through as with the first time I met her, but it felt a little like a job interview at some points in a way - tho' I liked her. Anyway, we left. No opportunity to hold door due to location and allow her out first. She had arranged lift home - in same direction as where I was going. She asked how I was getting home - I said I walk everywhere now. She asked how long it would take I said about 40 mins. I'm not sure how she responded to this - maybe she thought it was weird walking thru' city late at night. We walked 10 minutes to where her lift was and chatted further. I said I hoped her schoolkids didn't give her any hassle tomorrow etc. She turned her cheek, so I gave her a peck on it when she was just going to her lift ( I think she was a aware her friend giving lift was watching, so wanted to appear standoffish ) Said I'd see her again and we parted. was trying to remain a bit nonchalant and not too keen, not asking for phone number trying to be different - which is me anyway - not being contrived. it's possible she's got the totally wrong impression or maybe I'm just not for her ? ------------------------------ CORRESPONDENCE AFTER DATE------------ Sent Sunday 26th - 3 days after date Hey Aisling, how are you? - It was really cool to meet up with you again last Thursday night. Hope I didn't keep you out too late, or deprive you of your "beauty sleep" ?! ( I don't feel you need that, anyway ) Didn't realise the time myself, but sometimes it flies when you're having fun... Were you OK next morning ?!... I drove down to Limerick that afternoon for 2 day symposium in UL. Pretty wrecked, but interesting. I'm over to my sister's in London on Tuesday. Round three? I'd love to hook up and see you again sometime - if or when it suits... Food or a film maybe, or something outdoors?. Will have a think. Anyway, I hope you had a nice weekend. talk to you soon Ms Johnston. slán, John. P.S. I'd offer you a game of playstation, but the only PS I own is this one! Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:23:44 +0100 Subject: From: *********** To: ****@hotmail.com Hi John, thanks for the email... I would like to be honest with you and tell you that I dont want to go out on any more dates- as you may remember I told you Ive just broken up from a very long term relationship, and although I had a nice time the other night I just would prefer to be on my own for awhile now. I wish you all the best with your apartment etc, aisling
sotired Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Let it go. She told you she doesn't want to see you anymore. She basically slammed the door on any future dates with you. Any more communication from your side will just make it look like you don't have a clue. She's out of a long term relationship...You'd just be the rebound guy anyway. She is doing you a favor by being upfront about it instead of leading you on or offering you 'friendship'
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