SummerLady Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I have my first date on Saturday since being divorced. I am really looking forward to it and I am not nervous at all. He is a friend of someone I work with's brother. He emailed me a picture of himself and I emailed him a picutre of myself. Talked to him on email and on the phone. He seems great. Good looking and nice and seems smart. To good to be true. Ok maybe, maybe not...He is divorced with 2 kids that are a tad older than mine. I am really ready to have fun or at least go out on a date. Any advice??
Intricategirl Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Have fun and be safe. Be aware of your surroundings, meet him in a public place, and if you're meeting for drinks, keep it light and go up to the bar to get your own drinks. Other than the safety rules, have fun and try not to attach too much importance to it. Just figure out if this is someone you can stand spending an hour with, and let the rest take care of itself. Good luck!
delajoonal Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 ya, what intricategirl said..LOL...we just want you to be safe and have fun:)
PWSX3 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 You should be nervous, I wasn't nervous the first time I went out with my G/F and see what it got me.....We are still dating!!!! :lmao: Good luck & have fun....
Author SummerLady Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 You should be nervous, I wasn't nervous the first time I went out with my G/F and see what it got me.....We are still dating!!!! :lmao: Good luck & have fun.... Your funny! Its weird as I would think I would be nervous but I am not......He makes me feel comfortable. Plus I am so ready to get out there and have fun. He asked me if I was nervous as he has been divorced a couple of years and I am a newbie and I told him no. I betcha women are somewhat intimidated by him because he is tall and very attractive. That does not make me feel nervous that makes it more exciting...... Thanks for the feedback.
misternoname Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I married my high school sweetheart (who eventually proved to be a disloyal ho). Been divorced since Febraury. After separating I decided to try dating. Considering the last time in 28 years I had asked someone out on a date I was in high shcool, I was petrified and very unsure what to do. First date went OK, second better and after that it was smooth sailing. Over the course of a year I went out with over a dozen women. I'm been exclusively dating one for the last 9 months. Guess I'm suggesting two things. One, play the field and don't get bogged down with the first guy even if he seems perfect. My ex only went out with two guys and is already living with number two...discussing marriage. DUMB! Recent divorcees are not mentally prepared to settle down that quickly. Secondly, don't talk about your ex...I made that mistake with the first few gals. It's a buzz kill for them even if it's relevant to you. Good luck, have fun, enjoy life!
PWSX3 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Secondly, don't talk about your ex...I made that mistake with the first few gals. It's a buzz kill for them even if it's relevant to you. Good luck, have fun, enjoy life! This one would be tough when you have been with the person for 28 years like I have been. We did everything together..... One thing I have noticed when me & my new G/F go out to eat at a place I liked you do think of the former wife but I don't bring it up...I figure this is a new start with the G/F & we can make our own memories....
Billy Bob Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I married my high school sweetheart (who eventually proved to be a disloyal ho). Been divorced since Febraury. After separating I decided to try dating. Considering the last time in 28 years I had asked someone out on a date I was in high shcool, I was petrified and very unsure what to do. First date went OK, second better and after that it was smooth sailing. Over the course of a year I went out with over a dozen women. I'm been exclusively dating one for the last 9 months. Guess I'm suggesting two things. One, play the field and don't get bogged down with the first guy even if he seems perfect. My ex only went out with two guys and is already living with number two...discussing marriage. DUMB! Recent divorcees are not mentally prepared to settle down that quickly. Secondly, don't talk about your ex...I made that mistake with the first few gals. It's a buzz kill for them even if it's relevant to you. Good luck, have fun, enjoy life! Excellent advice and validates my personal experiences as well.. Date a whole bunch of people and don't get hooked on the first or second cast. Be a slut! Figure out who fits you emotionally, physically, professionally, financially, etc.. Quite a few people will fit the bill for one or two traits, but take your time and figure out what you really want.. It's like ice cream.. If all you have had your whole life is Vanilla, then you go sample Strawberry... it's easy to think Strawberry is great, the best!... Well if you go sample 20 different flavors, you will be able to really appreciate which one you prefer.
Billy Bob Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Truthfully, I didn't know what to expect after being recently divorced... But.. Second date is probably the average for divorced mid-thirties women giving it up.. at least from my experiences meeting gals on match.com.. I had a lot of fun being single and dating (why did I get married a second time??) Kidding...
Intricategirl Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Excellent advice and validates my personal experiences as well.. Date a whole bunch of people and don't get hooked on the first or second cast. Be a slut! Figure out who fits you emotionally, physically, professionally, financially, etc.. Quite a few people will fit the bill for one or two traits, but take your time and figure out what you really want.. It's like ice cream.. If all you have had your whole life is Vanilla, then you go sample Strawberry... it's easy to think Strawberry is great, the best!... Well if you go sample 20 different flavors, you will be able to really appreciate which one you prefer. Good analogy. Truthfully, I didn't know what to expect after being recently divorced... But.. Second date is probably the average for divorced mid-thirties women giving it up.. at least from my experiences meeting gals on match.com.. Ouch! That's kinda... sad. I can see going NSA, and I can see it if by "date" you mean that all the getting to know you meetings where you're just figuring out who the person is don't count. But if it's "Wanna go to a movie" then "want to go home with me," it's kind of sad, IMO.
Gunny376 Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Give up on traditional dating! Go about your life and what you like doing! With or without someone! Live your life as you normally would and invite them along for the ride!
FragileSwan Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 There's a few no no's for women and dating. Don't smoke or consume alcohol. Don't pull out any prescription drugs. Don't dump your purse out on the table in front of him. Don't tell him if your using birth control. Watch your purse at all times. Have him pick you up at home, and drive you back. if you can't trust a man that much, you ought not date him. Don't apply cosmetics in the presence of any male, ever. Look like you fussed, but act like you didn't. Be running a little late. If he gets upset about it, dump him. That's a famous Southern Belle method of finding a sincere man. Don't mention that you've ever slept with anyone else. I know he knows, but don't mention anything about the past. Even if he asks you, especially if he asks you, just say I don't feel comfortable with that subject. Men are attracted to a woman's fertility, and suitability to motherhood. Men like long blond thick curly hair because hair like this belies fertility. Hard strong nails also bely fertility. Large firm well formed breasts indicate superior infant feeding potential, very attractive to males. Men generally don't want to hear about a divorced woman's kids. There's just something about men that they aren't really concerned about kids who are some other guys, until they get to know a girl, which for divorcees is about the second date. Once he's hooked on you, if he gets hooked on you, then you can talk about your kids. Don't say anything about marriage. Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Ask him everything about himself. If he asks you about you, tell him you want to know about him first, and then you'll decide if you want him to know about you. Men love that, because men love to talk about themselves to women. If he defers to you, defer back to him. Don't make any decisions for him. If he asks you what you like to do, tell him you like whatever he likes. Be like a female, not like a male. Sit up straight. Bad posture shows low self esteem. Nothing is less attractive. Don't carry a large purse. Large purses show a woman's guilt and insecurity. Carry a small purse. Virgins carry small purses. Let him pay for everything. If your company isn't worth that much to him, forget him. Real women don't take cash along on a date. Men hate it when a woman tries to pay for part of a date. Paying for dates is a right of passage for males. The man is robbed of his manhood if the woman tries to pay. It's also a grave insult to his earning potential. If you wind up needing to take a cab home, like if the guy has a drinking problem, you can pay for that yourself. I know a girl who took a cab home because she got too drunk one night. Her mother was concerned about what the neighbors would have thought if her daughter had been raped taking a cab home drunk. So don't get raped, because there's a bad stigma that goes along with that. Everyone always wonders how much the woman had to do with it. And rape victims make poor wives and mothers. A woman is pretty much wrecked after that. Rape victims become dirt poor bitter feminists. It's not pretty. Don't carry condoms. A decent man will throw up on a girl who carries condoms. Don't mention your ex. Keep all your attention on your date. Every time he starts talking about his ex, excuse yourself, and use the restroom to touch up your cosmetics. When you're all pretty again, come back out. If he does it more than once, take a little longer to come back each time, until he gets the idea. A date is a mutual job interview for the position of spouse. Recreational dating is a one way ticket to human misery. Unless you would be open to marrying a man, even the slightest bit, you have no business dating him. Recreational dating can also lead to serious sin, which can lead to eternal death, in everlasting fire. You don't want that. You always want to pray before a date, for the strength to remain pure and undefiled. When a man fornicates, it's ok, because men naturally test the chastity of a woman, to check her suitability for motherhood, and the only way a man can perform his genetic programming, is to sleep with a girl, if necessary, to prove to himself that she was willing to transgress the marriage bed, before he married her. If she holds out, he won't be able to resist her. Men want chaste women. If a girl ever were to let a man break up with her, because she wouldn't sleep with him, he would be back so fast, because then he would do anything to have her. Don't soil yourself. When a woman fornicates, the man can't wait to get away from her, because men are repulsed by women who have sex outside the bonds of Sacramental Matrimony.
dgiirl Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 ^^ WTF?! SummerLady, have fun on your date!! Be yourself! Enjoy getting to know someone again. Try not to compare your date too much to your ex. Remember that this is a new guy and this is a new relationship. It takes time for anything serious to build and you wont know if he's the one until you spend a lot of time with him. So for now, just have fun! Once things start getting a little more serious, you'll probably find some things about this guy that will remind you of your ex that you hated, and other things that you'll love. Things that your ex use to do, or never did, and you love or hate it. This is good because now you have new options. Try not to go for the guy who's exactly opposite of your ex or exactly the same as your ex. There are some traits of your ex that worked well with you, and some other traits that didnt. Pick and choose which traits match better for you. And I'll give you my mother's advice, which I never did take, as I'm in a serious relationship with the second guy I dated. "Date as many men as you can! Go have lots of fun and enjoy yourself. You deserve it" she pauses for a few seconds "Just not THAT much fun with all of them".
FragileSwan Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 There's a few no no's for women and dating. Don't smoke or consume alcohol. Don't pull out any prescription drugs. Don't dump your purse out on the table in front of him. Don't tell him if your using birth control. Watch your purse at all times. Have him pick you up at home, and drive you back. if you can't trust a man that much, you ought not date him. Don't apply cosmetics in the presence of any male, ever. Look like you fussed, but act like you didn't. Be running a little late. If he gets upset about it, dump him. That's a famous Southern Belle method of finding a sincere man. Don't mention that you've ever slept with anyone else. I know he knows, but don't mention anything about the past. Even if he asks you, especially if he asks you, just say I don't feel comfortable with that subject. Men are attracted to a woman's fertility, and suitability to motherhood. Men like long blond thick curly hair because hair like this belies fertility. Hard strong nails also bely fertility. Large firm well formed breasts indicate superior infant feeding potential, very attractive to males. Men generally don't want to hear about a divorced woman's kids. There's just something about men that they aren't really concerned about kids who are some other guys, until they get to know a girl, which for divorcees is about the second date. Once he's hooked on you, if he gets hooked on you, then you can talk about your kids. Don't say anything about marriage. Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Ask him everything about himself. If he asks you about you, tell him you want to know about him first, and then you'll decide if you want him to know about you. Men love that, because men love to talk about themselves to women. If he defers to you, defer back to him. Don't make any decisions for him. If he asks you what you like to do, tell him you like whatever he likes. Be like a female, not like a male. Sit up straight. Bad posture shows low self esteem. Nothing is less attractive. Don't carry a large purse. Large purses show a woman's guilt and insecurity. Carry a small purse. Virgins carry small purses. Let him pay for everything. If your company isn't worth that much to him, forget him. Real women don't take cash along on a date. Men hate it when a woman tries to pay for part of a date. Paying for dates is a right of passage for males. The man is robbed of his manhood if the woman tries to pay. It's also a grave insult to his earning potential. If you wind up needing to take a cab home, like if the guy has a drinking problem, you can pay for that yourself. I know a girl who took a cab home because she got too drunk one night. Her mother was concerned about what the neighbors would have thought if her daughter had been raped taking a cab home drunk. So don't get raped, because there's a bad stigma that goes along with that. Everyone always wonders how much the woman had to do with it. And rape victims make poor wives and mothers. A woman is pretty much wrecked after that. Rape victims become dirt poor bitter feminists. It's not pretty. Don't carry condoms. A decent man will throw up on a girl who carries condoms. Don't mention your ex. Keep all your attention on your date. Every time he starts talking about his ex, excuse yourself, and use the restroom to touch up your cosmetics. When you're all pretty again, come back out. If he does it more than once, take a little longer to come back each time, until he gets the idea. A date is a mutual job interview for the position of spouse. Recreational dating is a one way ticket to human misery. Unless you would be open to marrying a man, even the slightest bit, you have no business dating him. Recreational dating can also lead to serious sin, which can lead to eternal death, in everlasting fire. You don't want that. You always want to pray before a date, for the strength to remain pure and undefiled. When a man fornicates, it's ok, because men naturally test the chastity of a woman, to check her suitability for motherhood, and the only way a man can perform his genetic programming, is to sleep with a girl, if necessary, to prove to himself that she was willing to transgress the marriage bed, before he married her. If she holds out, he won't be able to resist her. Men want chaste women. If a girl ever were to let a man break up with her, because she wouldn't sleep with him, he would be back so fast, because then he would do anything to have her. Don't soil yourself. When a woman fornicates, the man can't wait to get away from her, because men are repulsed by women who have sex outside the bonds of Sacramental Matrimony.
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