theBrokenMuse Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I was friends with this girl who got mad at me over something really arbitrary and sent me a really inappropriate IM which I did not think to log at the time, like an idiot. She said some things that one should never, ever say to a parent - ever. I ended the friendship. She seemed okay with it and moved out of state to Alaska. I thought everything was over. It hadn't yet begun. She's tracked down people that I know both professionally and personally online and defamed me. She called government agencies on me. She'd sign me up for things and services. I *still* get phone calls every once in awhile from people claiming that I signed up to receive their business proposals/services/ ect. I tried getting the police involved but apparently because she's not living in my state it's not worthwhile for them to prosecute her. I filed police reports but nothing else has happened with them. That was over two years ago... My cousin Jack just got an email from her on a social networking site and there's no reason she should want to contact him as they were never friends but the contents of the email made me sick. The entire thing was about three pages long, filled with over the top accusations about me and ends with the fact that she's headed to my area for a month to housesit while her Aunt goes to Rome. Her Aunt lives the next town over! After all this time she hasn't let it go, if anything her drive and hatred seems to be escalating. I can't believe she's still obsessing over me. I'm terrified she's going to try and actually show up here and do something even though she didn't actually say that in her email. WTF do I do now, live in fear until she tries to harm me or one of my boys? I hate this legal system, I really do. I just want to feel safe.
sotired Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Oh wow! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. It's amazing there aren't stricter anti stalking laws. I saw a show on TV where a person was threatening someone's children and sending emails pretty much stating they were watching the kids at the park, etc...The cops couldn't do anything!! I would just keep ignoring her. Protect yourself though, especially since she'll be in the area. At least keep a can of mace on you at all times and don't be afraid to call the cops if she starts coming around your house. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about her unless she physically harms you, just hope that she'll find another target for her craziness
marlena Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 The cops couldn't do anything!! Yes, I always wonder and marvel over this. I mean, just precisely why can't they do anything? Must a crime be committed before they step in and take action? It just doesn't make sense. There should very strict laws for people who stalk, defame and threaten others. There is no excuse for this type of behaviour. It's terrorism pure and simple. BM, you need to see a lawyer ASAP.
sfsassy Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I was friends with this girl who got mad at me over something really arbitrary and sent me a really inappropriate IM which I did not think to log at the time, like an idiot. She said some things that one should never, ever say to a parent - ever. I ended the friendship. She seemed okay with it and moved out of state to Alaska. I thought everything was over. It hadn't yet begun. She's tracked down people that I know both professionally and personally online and defamed me. She called government agencies on me. She'd sign me up for things and services. I *still* get phone calls every once in awhile from people claiming that I signed up to receive their business proposals/services/ ect. I tried getting the police involved but apparently because she's not living in my state it's not worthwhile for them to prosecute her. I filed police reports but nothing else has happened with them. That was over two years ago... My cousin Jack just got an email from her on a social networking site and there's no reason she should want to contact him as they were never friends but the contents of the email made me sick. The entire thing was about three pages long, filled with over the top accusations about me and ends with the fact that she's headed to my area for a month to housesit while her Aunt goes to Rome. Her Aunt lives the next town over! After all this time she hasn't let it go, if anything her drive and hatred seems to be escalating. I can't believe she's still obsessing over me. I'm terrified she's going to try and actually show up here and do something even though she didn't actually say that in her email. WTF do I do now, live in fear until she tries to harm me or one of my boys? I hate this legal system, I really do. I just want to feel safe. Agree with Marlena. Also make sure everyone who knows you, knows of her, including neighbors and other more aquaintance type people who might inadvertantly give her info without knowing the story. (she might say you are a long lost friend, or something like that.) I would also just give the police the new info. If she is near you, they may be able to protect you a bit more. Good luck, and be safe.
Mary3 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I was friends with this girl who got mad at me over something really arbitrary and sent me a really inappropriate IM which I did not think to log at the time, like an idiot. She said some things that one should never, ever say to a parent - ever. I ended the friendship. She seemed okay with it and moved out of state to Alaska. I thought everything was over. It hadn't yet begun. She's tracked down people that I know both professionally and personally online and defamed me. She called government agencies on me. She'd sign me up for things and services. I *still* get phone calls every once in awhile from people claiming that I signed up to receive their business proposals/services/ ect. I tried getting the police involved but apparently because she's not living in my state it's not worthwhile for them to prosecute her. I filed police reports but nothing else has happened with them. That was over two years ago... My cousin Jack just got an email from her on a social networking site and there's no reason she should want to contact him as they were never friends but the contents of the email made me sick. The entire thing was about three pages long, filled with over the top accusations about me and ends with the fact that she's headed to my area for a month to housesit while her Aunt goes to Rome. Her Aunt lives the next town over! After all this time she hasn't let it go, if anything her drive and hatred seems to be escalating. I can't believe she's still obsessing over me. I'm terrified she's going to try and actually show up here and do something even though she didn't actually say that in her email. WTF do I do now, live in fear until she tries to harm me or one of my boys? I hate this legal system, I really do. I just want to feel safe. At the very least gather up all inflammatory comments ( print them from the web site ) and all other emails , phone calls ., texts . Compile it all in a folder and head down to District Court where you can file a small claims against this woman for / harassment / defamation of charactor /suffering and punitive damages and Slander. It might make it worse but you have no choice. Her compulsion is to ruin you. She sounds very disturbed.
Author theBrokenMuse Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Compile it all in a folder and head down to District Court where you can file a small claims against this woman for / harassment / defamation of charactor /suffering and punitive damages and Slander. I see no point in suing. It won't give me any sort of protection and since she comes from money it's not going to be any kind of incentive to keep her from messing with me. In fact, the only thing I can see this doing is fueling her persecution complex and give her an opportunity to know exactly where I would be at a given date and time. Now, I honestly don't know if she is psychotic enough to attempt to seriously injure me or anything but given that her anger and need to project all her failures/inadequacies onto me paired with the fact that she is a gun enthusiast makes me really not want to provoke her in that manner. It would be like poking at a lion in the face with a short, sharp stick.
marlena Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Now, I honestly don't know if she is psychotic enough to attempt to seriously injure me or anything but given that her anger and need to project all her failures/inadequacies onto me paired with the fact that she is a gun enthusiast makes me really not want to provoke her in that manner. I have been in your shoes and the terror I experienced was immobilizing. This is no way to live. I understand your reluctance to press charges but what else can you do? Perhaps her bark is stronger than her bite and if she were to be called in by the police and given a warning, she might just get the message that you will not stand for it and that you mean business. You should at least file a complaint so that there is a record of this. If she, then, continues, you might have no other option. When I was in your shoes, I even thought of moving. That's how bad it was. I really sympathize with you and wish I could give you better advice. That's why I suggested that you see a lawyer about this. She sounds very dangerous and, yes, psychotic. No person in his right mind resorts to this type of psychological violence. Please, be careful.
Author theBrokenMuse Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Perhaps her bark is stronger than her bite and if she were to be called in by the police and given a warning, she might just get the message that you will not stand for it and that you mean business. You should at least file a complaint so that there is a record of this. If she, then, continues, you might have no other option. . I was talking about a civil suit before. I have tried to get a restraining order but I was told because she has not done anything to indicate that she is a physical threat to me that I able unable to get one. I have done everything the police have allowed me to do which is file reports. They will not charge her with anything because here in my state what she is doing is barely even a misdemeanor and they don't see it as being worth their time to pursue since she is out of state. I have also talked to an attorney. There is very little I can do about this situation because the cyberstalking laws here are pretty much utter crap. I have e-mails with her threatening to ruin my life in just about every facet possible and yet this isn't enough to garner the involvement of the powers that be. If she's not threatening to kill me or beat me to a bloody pulp outright, they aren't interested. At least once she gets here if she pulls anything a cop can be sent out to question her about it.
marlena Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 They will not charge her with anything because here in my state what she is doing is barely even a misdemeanor and they don't see it as being worth their time to pursue since she is out of state Then, you will have to press charges as much as I know that you don't want to do this. Sometimes people won't leave you any other choice. I have e-mails with her threatening to ruin my life in just about every facet possible and yet this isn't enough to garner the involvement of the powers that be. If she's not threatening to kill me or beat me to a bloody pulp outright, they aren't interested. I know..I know..so frustrating. I was told the same thing. Have you ever e-mailed her back telling her that if she doesn't stop her silly antics you will slap her with a civil suit that will send her head spinning? It's been my experience that the more they know that they spook you out, the more they get a kick out of doing this sort of thing. You mustn't let her know that she has gotten under your skin. Could your attorney call her and give her a little taste of her own medicine,perhaps?
Mary3 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Its not money you are after in a civil lawsuit. Its a written record of her harrassment viewed by a Judge in court on a certain date. Its a definitive action taken against someone who is out of line. You say a *RO* wont be taken seriously. I imagine she has to break into your home . I would think with your creative juices. What do you think fueled this ? A mental illness ? A deep hatred for you from some past fight about a man ? Think of anything you can. Do you look alot better than she does ? Maybe she has been jealous all along ?
sotired Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I agree with not poking her. Most normal people will back off with the thought of a civil suit. But she's not 'normal'...she WANTS a response from you. She wants you to acknowledge what she is doing....and as soon as you do, you are playing the game and the craziness will escalate. The best thing to do, if you aren't in danger or course, is to ignore her. She will eventually go away....but poking her back will make the situation explode.
Mary3 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I agree with not poking her. Most normal people will back off with the thought of a civil suit. But she's not 'normal'...she WANTS a response from you. She wants you to acknowledge what she is doing....and as soon as you do, you are playing the game and the craziness will escalate. The best thing to do, if you aren't in danger or course, is to ignore her. She will eventually go away....but poking her back will make the situation explode. I would agree with this in most cases but the EXTREMES this woman has went to tell you possibly that she is DANGEROUS. What are the odds she will attack ? Better than the lottery...
sotired Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 The problem is until she attacks, there's not much that can be done. Even if she were to get a RO, do you really think that is going to deter the crazy chick? There's no doubt she's dangerous....but I would really be afraid that suing her would push her completely over the deep end and who knows what she'll do then. I have never personally dealt with someone like this, but do know a lot of people that have, and eventually the stalkers just go away, they find someone else to pick on. I would keep a folder and document everything she says, does, etc. That way if it ever does go to court for whatever reason, your butt is covered.
Mary3 Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 The problem is until she attacks, there's not much that can be done. Even if she were to get a RO, do you really think that is going to deter the crazy chick? There's no doubt she's dangerous....but I would really be afraid that suing her would push her completely over the deep end and who knows what she'll do then. I have never personally dealt with someone like this, but do know a lot of people that have, and eventually the stalkers just go away, they find someone else to pick on. I would keep a folder and document everything she says, does, etc. That way if it ever does go to court for whatever reason, your butt is covered. I like your answer 100%
20poundblackcat Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 I think you should ignore her but remain cautious. Alert your friends, relatives and neighbors to her but ask them to ignore her as well if she tries to contact them. Keep records of everything she does to you and everything you do in an attempt to get legal assistance. Unfortunately, there's not much else you can do unless she does something directly to you. And by then, well, jeez, who wants to even think of what that could incur! If she shows up in your town making any kinds of threats, contact local law enforcement, file police reports and restraining orders, then plaster her face all over your neighborhood (like they do to sex offenders) and put a big ad in the local paper describing who she is and what she's doing so people will know to look out for her.
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