Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I met this guy at work, 7 months ago. We do have an age difference (I'm 28, he is 22) but we became fast friends, going to lunch together, he would call and text me all time. We had this crazy physical chemistry and he claimed to be single but at the time said he had some "stuff" going on with an ex. I don't know the full details, if they were fully together or not, but him and I didn't go out, outside of work. But he would flirt with me like crazy (telling me I was hot constantly) and than the sexy text messages started (sexting), I thought he was at least sexually interested. But he never tried to get together outside of work. Maybe he just liked the fact than an older woman, liked him, I don't really know. I ended up leaving that job and stopped contact with him, just because of the mixed signals. A few weeks after I left, I found out that he did have a girlfriend the entire time. I was pretty upset, so I did a pretty immature thing and emailed her through facebook. I told her that her boyfriend was claiming to be single and had been calling me nearly every night for almost 2 months. She just responded by thanking me for the info and I didn't hear from her again. So last week I go to text a guy friend (who has the same name.) But I texted "guy from work" on accident! He responded back within like 20 seconds. After he determined that the text wasn't meant for him, he started texting me, asking me how I was doing and what I had been up to. We have been texting on on and off for a week now. He is single this time, they broke up. I was very surprised that he even wanted to speak to me after what I did. He told me he never meant to hurt me, if he did. After a few days, I realized how much I still "want" him. I expressed that I would like to get together in a physical way, he responded that he is very interested in doing that as well. Telling me he always thought I was hot and he always "wanted" me. But it seems like the games have began again. I suggested that he come by over the weekend, and he gave me some lame excuse, so I told him if he was all talk, not to waste my time. He comes back with that he does want me and he wants to "hang out" soon. "Soon" wtf is that? If he isn't interested why tell me he is? I don't know if this is him, playing hard to get..or maybe he is intimidated by the age difference and experience I have over him?
bean1 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I'll be frank. You are 28. He is a 22 year old boy. You were "sexting"(?) back and forth knowing that he had another woman in the picture. You want him physically. How are you expecting anything BUT games in this situation? What are your expectations? An F buddy? That is all you will get - if even that. I'm a girl the same age as you, so I have to ask, what sort of future are you expecting from pursuing 22yr old boys??
carhill Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 He's banging someone else. Date guys your own age or older if you want a relationship. If you want a Thelma and Louise evening with Brad Pitt, call him up.
Author Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 He's banging someone else. Date guys your own age or older if you want a relationship. If you want a Thelma and Louise evening with Brad Pitt, call him up. That is all I want! I don't want to date him.
carhill Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 No worries. Be sure to use protection for STD's... Just ask him where he lives (let's hope not with mom and dad) and go "visit" him.
loser101 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 That is all I want! I don't want to date him. doesn't sound like that to me. I've had my fair share of flings with young guys, the youngest being 21 recently. when you only want sex, you openlly talk about it, meet up and get on with it. if one party flakes, the whole thing gets dropped because it is only sex after all, nothing else is behind it. you move on to someone else. it sounds to me like you are in this deeper, why would you have got upset about the girlfriend otherwise? by the way, carhill is right, he is banging someone else so you are in the same situation as before.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Yeah, I think if you just wanted sex, this would all be very simple. You wouldn't be telling us about what he thinks of you and how you're wondering what he's thinking. If it's just sex, does it really matter?
Author Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 doesn't sound like that to me. I've had my fair share of flings with young guys, the youngest being 21 recently. when you only want sex, you openlly talk about it, meet up and get on with it. if one party flakes, the whole thing gets dropped because it is only sex after all, nothing else is behind it. you move on to someone else. it sounds to me like you are in this deeper, why would you have got upset about the girlfriend otherwise? by the way, carhill is right, he is banging someone else so you are in the same situation as before. Things were a little bit different 7 months ago. I wasn't thinking clearly about what it would have been like to try to date someone his age. But now I'm not thinking past a one time thing. And if he is banging someone else, why keep me hanging?
Ruby Slippers Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 No one can keep you hanging unless you allow yourself to hang. This guy is one of dozens -- hundreds! -- of flirtatious 22-year-old players who would love to sleep with you. He sounds like a dog chasing cars. The ones that are parked (available) lose his interest. The ones driving away will get him running after them. If you really want to have sex with him, my advice is to ignore him and see how fast he appears, panting, in your rear-view.
bean1 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 And if he is banging someone else, why keep me hanging? If it's just for sex (and the expectation of a one time thing) then there's no reason NOT to keep you hanging - because there is no expectation. He could randomly call you whenever he feels like it. I'm sure you've convinced yourself you have no expectations but are you SURE about that? You are asking a lot of questions that someone with no expectations wouldn't care about.
loser101 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 if he is really that interested surely he would come up with a time and day that's suitable for him?
Author Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 If it's just for sex (and the expectation of a one time thing) then there's no reason NOT to keep you hanging - because there is no expectation. He could randomly call you whenever he feels like it. I'm sure you've convinced yourself you have no expectations but are you SURE about that? You are asking a lot of questions that someone with no expectations wouldn't care about. I understand what your saying. I guess it bothers me because, MAYBE its an ego thing (as much as I don't want to admit it) since here I'm pretty much offering sex to this guy on a silver platter, and he isn't reaching for it. I'm an attractive woman and don't have an issue meeting men, and it bothers me...
bean1 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 To be honest, I don't think he believes that you would want something with no strings attached. You already told his GF when you hadn't actually done anything physical, so he may think that you would go off the deep end if you had sex with him. Think of it from the perspective of a 22yr old kid that obviously has no respect for girls in the first place. Why would he think any different?
Author Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 To be honest, I don't think he believes that you would want something with no strings attached. You already told his GF when you hadn't actually done anything physical, so he may think that you would go off the deep end if you had sex with him. Think of it from the perspective of a 22yr old kid that obviously has no respect for girls in the first place. Why would he think any different? That puts a different spin on it.
bean1 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I'd look elsewhere to satisfy your physical desires
You'reasian Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 when you only want sex, you openlly talk about it, meet up and get on with it. Agreed. Good to hear it from the drama-free female side too.
Author Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 Agreed. Good to hear it from the drama-free female side too. I didn't want drama, this time. I just wanted him to come over and than leave.
You'reasian Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I didn't want drama, this time. I just wanted him to come over and than leave. Then why all of this? A few weeks after I left, I found out that he did have a girlfriend the entire time. I was pretty upset, so I did a pretty immature thing and emailed her through facebook. I told her that her boyfriend was claiming to be single and had been calling me nearly every night for almost 2 months. She just responded by thanking me for the info and I didn't hear from her again. So last week I go to text a guy friend (who has the same name.) But I texted "guy from work" on accident! He responded back within like 20 seconds. After he determined that the text wasn't meant for him, he started texting me, asking me how I was doing and what I had been up to. We have been texting on on and off for a week now. He is single this time, they broke up. I was very surprised that he even wanted to speak to me after what I did. He told me he never meant to hurt me, if he did. After a few days, I realized how much I still "want" him. I expressed that I would like to get together in a physical way, he responded that he is very interested in doing that as well. Telling me he always thought I was hot and he always "wanted" me. But it seems like the games have began again. I suggested that he come by over the weekend, and he gave me some lame excuse, so I told him if he was all talk, not to waste my time. He comes back with that he does want me and he wants to "hang out" soon. "Soon" wtf is that? If he isn't interested why tell me he is? I don't know if this is him, playing hard to get..or maybe he is intimidated by the age difference and experience I have over him? If it looks like drama and smells like drama...
2sure Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 He is interested enough to spend the time sexting with you when its convenient. But not much more than that. He may actually bang you when he has nothing else better going on.
Author Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 Then why all of this? If it looks like drama and smells like drama... ok ...................................
You'reasian Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 He is interested enough to spend the time sexting with you when its convenient. But not much more than that. He may actually bang you when he has nothing else better going on. My guess is this guy knows what he wants and doesn't waste alot of time with those who do not know what they want.
Author Ashley290 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 My guess is this guy knows what he wants and doesn't waste alot of time with those who do not know what they want. I was very direct about what I wanted, and if he wasn't interested, than fine. All he had to do was say so.
loser101 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I understand what your saying. I guess it bothers me because, MAYBE its an ego thing (as much as I don't want to admit it) since here I'm pretty much offering sex to this guy on a silver platter, and he isn't reaching for it. I'm an attractive woman and don't have an issue meeting men, and it bothers me... that's it isn't it. best thing is to walk away. nothing good has ever come of ego-trips.
carhill Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 He's organizing his schedule and will get back to you
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