conehead Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I know couples who say ILU after every phone conversation and basically a few times a day...sort of like a greeting almost. Do you think this makes the ILUs lose its meaning over time? Does it weaken the relationship? Or can it actually be a good thing?
Star Gazer Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 My BF and I say it at the end of almost all phone conversations, and every night before we go to bed.
Enema Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I think it does make it lose it's meaning. You can give it some extra ummphhh! by changing the wording slightly, or adding their name to the end of it.
redfathom Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I think as long as you mean it when you say it, then there are not enough times a day to say it (with out being annoying). My husband and I say it several times a day, often just because...we do! After phone calls, before bed, watching TV, when leaving the house.
Citizen Erased Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I think it does make it lose some meaning. For some people it's no different than saying hello or goodbye, just an automatic thing. If you actually mean it every time you say it, that's fine. If you're just saying it for the sake of saying something, not so fine.
Star Gazer Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I think it does make it lose some meaning. For some people it's no different than saying hello or goodbye, just an automatic thing. If you actually mean it every time you say it, that's fine. If you're just saying it for the sake of saying something, not so fine. These two paragraphs are inconsistent. If you actually mean it every time you say it, how does it lose meaning?
fishtaco Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 This is my theory: I read this thing about love languages. To someone that considers verbal reinforcement as a love language they respond to, I don't think it'll ever lose its meaning. I'm not a verbal person. My "love languages" are quality time and physical affection. So I'll never get tired of those (or so I think). But someone that keeps saying "I love you" to me will pretty much become "hello" and "good bye". Although I wouldn't go as far as saying it would weaken the relationship. Maybe if you annoy the other person about repeating it back to you or something I guess.
MissConduct Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Yeah saying on a schedule like every time you say goodbye, every time you hang up the phone etc. is too much and it does lose its meaning as far as I am concerned. There is nothing left to say when you are gushing and feeling like you want to tell your partner how much you adore them. Too much of anything is simply too much. You want to be spontaneous, and just like we don't feel happy or sad or angry or scared etc. 24/7 you can't feel like you need to express love verbally 24/7. I question why you would need to be reassured that much if you did say it that often.
MissConduct Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 But someone that keeps saying "I love you" to me will pretty much become "hello" and "good bye". Exactly!! That is exactly what I was trying to say but you said it better.
Die Hard Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 For me personally it loses not meaning, but importance when it's said at the end of every conversation. I say it automatically to my mom when I talk to her on the phone and I want something more when expressing myself to a woman I have more than platonic feelings for. Sometimes not saying it and saving it for later is best for me personally. It's always in the back of my mind that it might become an auto response, and that I do not want to happen.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 No. The way I look at it, anything could happen between now and the next time you see your lover. If I get hit by a bus or something, I'd like to know that I left him with no doubt in his mind that I loved him.
BobSacamento Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I think it cheapens it. When you use it at the end of phone conversations it turns into a reflex more than anything. It's something I would like to only say face to face.
alphamale Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I know couples who say ILU after every phone conversation and basically a few times a day...sort of like a greeting almost. i've always thought that is lame Do you think this makes the ILUs lose its meaning over time? yes. if you keep repeating the same thing over and over people stop hearing it and its value becomes zero. ILU should be said only when you really mean it and only on certain/special occasions. Its not unlike someone who talks to much. After a while you just tune most of what they say out. Does it weaken the relationship? depends on the couple and their relationship. Or can it actually be a good thing? under certain circumstances maybe - like if your lover is sick or going thru some hard times.
wheelzgurl Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 We say I love you every time we part. I don't feel it has lost its meaning because we both mean it everytime. We've been together for seven years. Whether we are on the phone or leaving in the morning, its just an added gesture of our feelings towards each other. I can't say it enough Its not a routine or a greeting/salutation.
Juristhea Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 The words will never lose their meaning even if they are said frequently, as long as they are said sincerely. That's all.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 yes. if you keep repeating the same thing over and over people stop hearing it and its value becomes zero. ILU should be said only when you really mean it and only on certain/special occasions. Totally disagree. I never stop hearing it, and it never loses its value. I also never stop meaning it when I say it, because I don't stop feeling it. Words can be highly affirmational. Saying it out loud affirms what it's all about, even when times get tough. To me, "I love you" says "I'm here for you", "I've got your back", "You can count on me", "I choose to be with you", and all that good stuff, every single time.
Juristhea Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Sincerity is the key to everything that's been said and will be said in a relationship...
alphamale Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Totally disagree. I never stop hearing it, and it never loses its value. I also never stop meaning it when I say it, because I don't stop feeling it. Words can be highly affirmational. Saying it out loud affirms what it's all about, even when times get tough. To me, "I love you" says "I'm here for you", "I've got your back", "You can count on me", "I choose to be with you", and all that good stuff, every single time. thats such female baloney
JamesM Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Totally disagree. I never stop hearing it, and it never loses its value. I also never stop meaning it when I say it, because I don't stop feeling it. Words can be highly affirmational. Saying it out loud affirms what it's all about, even when times get tough. To me, "I love you" says "I'm here for you", "I've got your back", "You can count on me", "I choose to be with you", and all that good stuff, every single time. Well said. We say I love you or Love you many times in a day. It may end a phone call. It may be what we say after not seeing one another for awhile. It may be a heart felt statement expressing our deep love for one another. We both know that saying I love you does affirm our love for one another. nd when we are angry at each other, we cannot express love, so we know that the simple I love you says I am not mad at you and am happy to be with you. After almost 19 years of marriage and after reading the many stories here on LS, I don't think that a couple can ever express in words or deeds their love for one another too much. This helps keep the connection open and strong.
carhill Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Well said. When you come to die, you'll be aching to get that one last ILY out of lips which no longer move and vocal chords which no longer vocalize. Make each one count
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