SueSue Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Hi, Im new on this board and am needing some advice about a matter that is causing me and my husband some stress. I'm expecting our second child in about a month. A photographer couple that we are acquainted with are planning a project inspired by the pics of Demi Moore, Britney Spears and other expectant moms who have posed nude in the last weeks before delivery. These people have asked me and an expecting friend of mine along with several others to do a similar thing. They plan to have us lined up single file and do a side view, illustrating our "expanded profiles" clearly. We will be turned slightly away from the camera and each lady will have her left hand on the shoulder of the one in front of her, with her arm blocking most of the view of her breast. Therefore, no pubic areas or nipples will be visible in the photo as it is intended to be used for general purposes. Our bottoms will be possibly be somewhat visible, however. I'm a modest person by nature but I think there is nothing wrong with doing this. I believe it is a great way to illustrate the beauty of pregnancy and motherhood. I'm having a problem with my husband, however because some of the ladies want their husbands to be there for the session, myself and my friend included. My husband is not excited about the idea of other men, the photographer included, seeing me naked during the session, or the fact that our bare behinds may be seen in the photo. I told him that with all the women there in the same condition, each will be just another expecting mom to the other husbands. I think he is being too paranoid about the whole thing, which will be over in about an hour, we're told. Should I cancel my plans to participate or is he overreacting? I would really like to do this, so any thoughts would be appreciated.
carhill Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Do you think your husband's concern is out of character for him and/or unreasonable? I offer no judgement and likely would participate myself (love all aspects of children, including pregnancy), but it's your life and your M.
2sure Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 It is an opportunity. And one you will probably appreciate having took in the future. What a nice way to confirm that the pregnant body is a beautiful miracle. If your husband is so uncomfortable with it that he cannot tolerate even the photographer seeing your as*...you have to respect that. Your pregnant body is part of the marriage - maybe now more than ever! Gotta be a joint decision. But...you should try to persuade him. Has he "forbidden" you or has he left any room to discuss?
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Who has the publishing rights to these photographs? Is there a legal contract to limit use? if not - I certainly would not do it. if you have only their word for what these photographs are going to be used for, you don't wish to spot a pornography magazine with your picture on the front, do you?
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 In this day and age of photoshop, there's no real need for anyone to be photographed nude. Many celebs actually wear some form of minimal thong/breast tape and the person with the airbrush software, will take it out of the picture. Is this compromise possible? Btw, I think the celebration of pregnancy is a wonderful idea. A pregnant woman just glows!
Lucky_One Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 My bookclub stripped one of our pregnant members down and covered her belly and breasts (one arm cradling her belly and one arm and hand covering her breasts) with paper mache. It turned out fantastic, and it is hanging in the nursery. Your husband may be happier if you ask the other moms if their guys would be out of the room while you are being photographed; that way it is just you two and the photographer. And you can certainly ask the photographer not to have your bum exposed. And certainly wear a flesh colered panty - that is easily photoshopped out.
Tony T Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Respect your husband's wishes...I know that's an old fashioned notion but a man who loves a woman doesn't want a sacred part of their relationship, his naked wife and the imminent birth of his child, shared with the world that way. He's not right or wrong, that's his opinion and his feelings and you should stick by that. Other women in the neighborhood are free to walk around naked if they want, if their husbands will permit. I have no particular opinion about whether you should do it or not. I just think for the sake of your relationship you should go with your hubby. It's no sweat of your back...or belly...to do so!
michelangelo Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 and what would your decision be? What if the angle was celebration of the female body, a group of them? would you and/or your husband be uncomfortable with that? If so, then don't do the picture.
Juristhea Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 Ask your hubby why he's uncomfortable with it and if he still doesnt want you to do it, then I suggest you step back and respect his decision.
Mr. Lucky Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I'm having a problem with my husband, however because some of the ladies want their husbands to be there for the session, myself and my friend included. My husband is not excited about the idea of other men, the photographer included, seeing me naked during the session, or the fact that our bare behinds may be seen in the photo. I think that having any husbands in the room is inappropriate. I wouldn't want my wife nude in front of a group of other men, pregnant or not. To me the photographer, assuming he's a pro and not someone's uncle, is a different story. No different than a OB/GYN appointment. I agree that the idea of the pictures sounds beautiful... Mr. Lucky
lostsunsets Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 How wonderfully enlightened and artistic. Pregnant mom photos have been done to death. So then there will be plenty of husbands around during the shoot. Hmmmmm...... What if your husband compares you to the other wives. What if he wishes you looked more like the one in front of you. You know. Prettier face, nicer hair, cuter butt. What if he looks at her more then you. Cool. the other husbands get to see all the ladies goodies and fantasize about them. What if while your having sex, your husband is thinking about her. And when your having your baby, do wonder if he's thinking about her. Time for the caps. DO YOU REALIZE THAT MEN ARE VISUAL CREATURES, THEY ARE EXCITED ABOUT WHAT THEY SEE. WHY WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF IN THIS POSITION? FOR SOME STUPID PHOTO THAT NO ONE WILL LOOK AT TWICE? EXCEPT THAT IS OF COURSE YOUR HUSBAND. THERE MIGHT ONLY BE A 1 IN 10 CHANCE THAT HE WILL THINK ONE OF THE OTHER IS PRETTIER (I ACTUALLY THINK THAT THE CHANCES ARE MUCH HIGHER). SO BY ALL MEANS INTRODUCE YOUR HUSBAND TO A BUNCH OF NAKED PRETTY WOMEN. I'M SURE NOTHING WILL COME OF IT.........MAYBE.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I'm having a problem with my husband, however because some of the ladies want their husbands to be there for the session, myself and my friend included. My husband is not excited about the idea of other men, the photographer included, seeing me naked during the session, or the fact that our bare behinds may be seen in the photo. I don't blame him. I told him that with all the women there in the same condition, each will be just another expecting mom to the other husbands. I think he is being too paranoid about the whole thing, which will be over in about an hour, we're told. Should I cancel my plans to participate or is he overreacting? I would really like to do this, so any thoughts would be appreciated. I don't think he is overreacting. He doesn't want other men to see his wife naked. I'd be the same way. If you were my wife, I don't think I might have a problem with the photo if only a bare butt might be exposed...but other men seeing you naked for about an hour? If you go through with this, i think it would be appropriate to suggest that the husband's are not included in the photo shoot. How would you like other women being able to look at your husband's junk for an hour? And if you don't think the other husband's aren't going to be turned on by this, pregnant or not....think again. Your husband has legitimate concerns. Maybe you should respect his wishes.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 It is an opportunity. And one you will probably appreciate having took in the future. What a nice way to confirm that the pregnant body is a beautiful miracle. If your husband is so uncomfortable with it that he cannot tolerate even the photographer seeing your as*...you have to respect that. Your pregnant body is part of the marriage - maybe now more than ever! Gotta be a joint decision. But...you should try to persuade him. Has he "forbidden" you or has he left any room to discuss? I agree with you, but I also think that the husband's should be out of the photo shoot. They can see the end result where the boobs and cooch are covered up, but they don't need to be seeing each other's wives naked.
GorillaTheater Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I agree with you, but I also think that the husband's should be out of the photo shoot. They can see the end result where the boobs and cooch are covered up, but they don't need to be seeing each other's wives naked. I agree with this. I wouldn't mind the fact of the photo shoot itself, but I don't think husbands should be there (just make sure that the photographer, if male, has a female assistant along, just to avoid any appearance of impropriety). The fact is, I know I'd get seriously turned on if I was a husband in attendance, by looking at the various nude wives, preganant or not. And I'd be willing to bet a paycheck that most if not all of the husbands would be the same way. If I was your husband, I wouldn't want the other husbands to get turned on by seeing my nekkid wife. And if I were you, I wouldn't want my husband getting turned on by seeing other nekkid women. Sure, I understand the beautiful aspects of it, but leave it to us men to make it into something pornographic. It's what we do.
orangesean Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I agree with many of the posters here. This is an interesting question, and I'm glad you asked. I think there are many questions brought up that you and your husband should go over together. I would also advise against any situation where everyone's husbands will be in the room while the many women are being photographed. Some people may have went a little over the edge in describing what all the men will be thinking and feeling, but it's not completely inaccurate in terms of possible feelings of lust, comparing, and gawking. But the main question here depends how what the end result of the photograph will be. While it doesn't sound at all pornographic, you should take note of the photographer. Find out what you can of their professional history, their intended use of the photo, and really just their overall skill and taste in their photo comps. Do they have a website you can look through? I mean you don't want to end up with a sleazy photographer, an amateur photographer, or a questionable photographer. Past displays of skill, taste, and an eye for beauty will help you decide if you can see a portfolio. And how the photograph will be used and distributed in the future is some concern. A model never has control over this, and you sign over your rights for depicted as photographed in a release form, but before you sign any release forms, you will want to see the photos intended use, now and in the future. Also another poster asked, how would you feel if you took the pregnancy angle out? That's a very good question, and again while a photo of nude women covering themselves, not pregnant, could be beautiful, I would still not want a situation where all the husbands watch and attend.
boldjack Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Sue, How would you feel about your husband being nude in front of a group of other women? This must be a joint decision, if you decide to participate and your husband objects, it will only cause resentment at a time when you both should be happy about the new birth. Having the husbands in the room is a terrible idea.
Author SueSue Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Thanks for all of your replies. I have asked a few more questions about the matter since I first posted. I do stand corrected in saying the plan was for the husbands to be in the room during the session. They will be in the building but not in the room to my understanding. My friend is not very modest about such things and she doesn't have a preference but quite honestly, I thought that I would be being a wet blanket if I spoke out the fact that I would actually be uncomfortable with everyone's husband there. But, that's not going to be the case, fortunately. The photogs are an older husband and wife team and I know for a fact that both will be there. They are well known career photogs in the area (I don't know them personally) and are well respected. I don't know if there is a contract on how the pics will be used but I intend to ask. But I would think that nobody would want to be photographed in any way that you don't want people to see. Hubby is lightening up knowing all the men won't be present but he's still concerned that my hiney and part of my breasts will likely be visible in the finished product. He knows I've posted this and has agreed to consider others' opinions. So, the general concensus here is: a)Husbands shouldn't be in the room; b)Photog is legit; c)Nothing wrong with the photo itself even with bare bottoms. Am I reading everyone correctly (except for one or two that say don't do it at all)? Thanks again, everyone.
bluechocolate Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 a)Husbands shouldn't be in the room; b)Photog is legit; c)Nothing wrong with the photo itself even with bare bottoms. d) all of the above.
Author SueSue Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Yes, d)all of the above was in my mind, I should have put that. Thanks.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 I'd say all of that is pretty good. Bare preggo heinies aren't a huge deal, but if I were the husband, I'd not want too much revealing of my wife's breasts. Actually, I'd request that they are completely covered leaving nothing to the imagination.
Author SueSue Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 It will be similar to the Demi Moore and Britney Spears pics. There may be some part of our breasts showing, and I'm OK with that, but our arms will hide our nipples and hopefully a bit more. The enlarging of the breasts is part of pregnancy just as is the enlarging of the abdomen as we all know.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 It will be similar to the Demi Moore and Britney Spears pics. There may be some part of our breasts showing, and I'm OK with that, but our arms will hide our nipples and hopefully a bit more. The enlarging of the breasts is part of pregnancy just as is the enlarging of the abdomen as we all know. you are ok with a good portion of your breasts showing only hiding the nipples. ok so basically that which only your husband and your doctors should be seeing will now be seen by others.....other men will see what only your husband should be seeing.....you think that will sit well with him? has he said anything about it? or is it that you want other people, men to be more specific, to see them? I guess if I were in his shoes I'd have to see the final pics to determine whether I'd be comfortable with it.
Author SueSue Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 He knows my swimsuit doesn't cover absolutly all of my breasts. He's OK with a similar amount showing. I don't know why, but he hasn't said hardly anything about our bare backsides possibly being shown. How are you on that?
Adunaphel Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 Would you be okay with your H posing with other men for a semi-naked, tasteful, picture which is supposed to show that middle-aged men (or not-perfect-looking men) can be handsome and sexy? Assume that the picture is going to be seen by other women, some of whom might know or recognize your H and appreciate his looks. Asked that, I think the idea of the picture is adorable, but I can see why your H might be unconfortable. I suggest that you try to ask him if he can think of some compromise/arrangement where he might feel okay with the picture. If he is still very uncofortable, I think his feelings should come first. Unless of course he usually dismisses your feelings when something bothers *you*.
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