Mermaiden Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 my boyfriend and i have been dating 4 months our one dedicated night is saturday and out of the last 8 saturdays he has cancelled once, got sick once and took me home early and been late 4 times. he even went to a party with old friends and left me at home and told me it would be just guys (turns out it was men women and their spouses) the last two times he was late 2-3 hours well he has told me that maybe from now on i should go out into the city with my friends sometimes on saturdays and then he can meet me in the city later. so instead of telling me he wants to try and see me more and wont be late he is excusing himself for future bad behavior. my friends heard this and said it sound slike he is trying to blow me off in the future by telling me to go hang with friends on saturdays in the early evening........ that he wont look like the bad guy if he cancels from now on. thoughts ? we dont see each other during the week usually because he and i are so busy. so saturday was our last happy night to hang onto......
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I am so sorry... But you don't seem to see it.... I think you should perhaps be thinking of him as an ex- boyfriend... If you tell him it's over, I don't think he would be heartbroken..... I think he would be grateful or relieved. And I think you should be also. _/l\_
torranceshipman Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 If he was a Jedi he'd have been far more honorable than this! Seriously, he doesn't want a relationship but is probably still attracted to you so a) is either doing the slow fade to end it, but in a spineless way, or b) trying to sound you out for a booty call type situation (meeting friends during the evening then hooking up with him late in the night). He's a dumbass! I'd email him and say you've lost interest...
Chinook Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Run!! This kind of passive-aggressive crap really winds me up. He's on his way out the door hon. Tell him to mind it doesn't hit him in the ass on the way out!! Seriously, it's a given that you guys will breakup. Who does it is the issue. Either you dump his ass and let him play injured soldier, or you fade too so that he dumps you... although, if you're more into it than he is, then prepare for a little heartache. Whatever happens, as the book says "he's just not that into you"!!
xpaperxcutx Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 His character is so digusting that perhaps looking pretty wouldn't have helped either. Dump his ass... and
Author Mermaiden Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 His character is so digusting that perhaps looking pretty wouldn't have helped either. Dump his ass... and not to sound obnoxious but im actually considered sexy/attractive and he used to say i was so beautiful so it doesnt matter to him that im fun, easy going, understanding, smart, sweet, a great cook, love men and am easy enough on the eyes. He must have SUCH an inflated opinion (or conversely a low self esteem problem) that he cant appreciate me.. it just hurts a lot to go from something wonderful to this slow tortuous vague underhanded shady fade out.
Author Mermaiden Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 If he was a Jedi he'd have been far more honorable than this! Seriously, he doesn't want a relationship but is probably still attracted to you so a) is either doing the slow fade to end it, but in a spineless way, or b) trying to sound you out for a booty call type situation (meeting friends during the evening then hooking up with him late in the night). He's a dumbass! I'd email him and say you've lost interest... Haha thanks funny comment. but your a and b is what im thinking too.
bean1 Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Just curious, but does he refer to you as his girlfriend to others? He does not behave like a man who is in a relationship. He is clearly stating that you are not a priority in his life. Why are you settling for crumbs?
Author Mermaiden Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 Just curious, but does he refer to you as his girlfriend to others? He does not behave like a man who is in a relationship. He is clearly stating that you are not a priority in his life. Why are you settling for crumbs? oh yeah he did to his set of friends from his childhood and in front of his sister and mother but wait update.................... HI I just broke up with him I am a researcher by trade and have a iq of 162 too bad my emotional iq must be room temp i decided to check out the whole black tie ball event HE IS IN A PHOTO WITH HIS "CRAZY EX STALKER GF" omg omfg he told me that same night afterwards that he hadnt seen her in months and now last saturday told me she has gotten even crazier since he wont go anywhere with her LIAR SOCIOPATH Im drinking gin and calling all my wonderful girlfriends and my two best gays thanks for the advice kids. ill be fine this is good i dont want to breed or marry a sociopathic liar.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 not to sound obnoxious but im actually considered sexy/attractive and he used to say i was so beautiful so it doesnt matter to him that im fun, easy going, understanding, smart, sweet, a great cook, love men and am easy enough on the eyes. He must have SUCH an inflated opinion (or conversely a low self esteem problem) that he cant appreciate me.. it just hurts a lot to go from something wonderful to this slow tortuous vague underhanded shady fade out. Mermaiden, I will agree with you that you sound like such an attractive woman but if you waste your time with such an " unattractive" man whose personality is something that will drive you crazy, then you know you're throwing your beauty away on someone undeserving. First and foremost rule, love yourself. If you love yourself, you'll see you can't allow yourself to to suffer such things as wait on hands and foot on a man like that.
carhill Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 More tonic, less gin... Well, it could've been worse; he could've treated you nice
Juristhea Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I really hate it when guys just don't have the guts to break up a relationship, except when they're having an affair and you found out about it which is a pretty lame and pathetic way of breaking up. Honestly I would want my boyfriend (if he does DECIDE to break up with me and I hope he doesnt ) to tell me up close and personal that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. That way, it would look more like an honorable death rather than useless suicide. Anyways, I found this article which was emailed to me by my friends: http://ezinearticles.com/?Mistakes-Your-Partner-Did---Break-Up-Advice-For-Women&id=2228539 Thought it would be useful for this topic... (^_^)
bean1 Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 HE IS IN A PHOTO WITH HIS "CRAZY EX STALKER GF" omg omfg he told me that same night afterwards that he hadnt seen her in months and now last saturday told me she has gotten even crazier since he wont go anywhere with her . #1 line of a man to avoid. Any man with a "crazy ex stalker GF" is a serious red flag. It's like the "psycho" line. They are so full of it. Have fun with your friends, flirt with men who deserve it, and enjoy yourself. Glad to hear your update!!!
Author Mermaiden Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 More tonic, less gin... Well, it could've been worse; he could've treated you nice exactly ! ironic that it is good he started acting poorly oh and whats really funny is the reason he is with her she is 14 years older than me and has........... 4 million dollars in assets. i know he kept saying he needed money for some ventures and finally an angel investor came thru uh huh wow what psycho this is also a guy who once idly told me I should buy life insurance seems a modus of bad guys.
Author Mermaiden Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 #1 line of a man to avoid. Any man with a "crazy ex stalker GF" is a serious red flag. It's like the "psycho" line. They are so full of it. Have fun with your friends, flirt with men who deserve it, and enjoy yourself. Glad to hear your update!!! i would love to play 'crazy ex gf' his vm to me about wanting to destroy her for being crazy and stalking him haha but i have too much grace and better things to do.
Juristhea Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 i would love to play 'crazy ex gf' his vm to me about wanting to destroy her for being crazy and stalking him haha but i have too much grace and better things to do. Exactly, girlfriend. Don't go stooping to his level. Go out and have fun! Make him regret his decision! lol
Author Mermaiden Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 He has contacted me...... A drunk crazy voicemail. saying that he lost "his woman to a gay man" (he liked to joke that my ex bf seems gay and that he was sure i sitll liked him) he then ominously said he is SORRY for writing me personal emails over the last few months and that "because everyone blacnkmails everyone else " he is afraid ill use them against him someday what a nutjob i didnt respond is that smartest ?
You'reasian Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 my boyfriend and i have been dating 4 months our one dedicated night is saturday and out of the last 8 saturdays he has cancelled once, got sick once and took me home early and been late 4 times. he even went to a party with old friends and left me at home and told me it would be just guys (turns out it was men women and their spouses) the last two times he was late 2-3 hours well he has told me that maybe from now on i should go out into the city with my friends sometimes on saturdays and then he can meet me in the city later. so instead of telling me he wants to try and see me more and wont be late he is excusing himself for future bad behavior. my friends heard this and said it sound slike he is trying to blow me off in the future by telling me to go hang with friends on saturdays in the early evening........ that he wont look like the bad guy if he cancels from now on. thoughts ? we dont see each other during the week usually because he and i are so busy. so saturday was our last happy night to hang onto...... It seems like the two of you are dating or that he likes to have his own time apart.
You'reasian Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 He has contacted me...... A drunk crazy voicemail. saying that he lost "his woman to a gay man" (he liked to joke that my ex bf seems gay and that he was sure i sitll liked him) he then ominously said he is SORRY for writing me personal emails over the last few months and that "because everyone blacnkmails everyone else " he is afraid ill use them against him someday what a nutjob i didnt respond is that smartest ? Is he like your previous boyfriends?
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Yes, Mermaiden, in answer to your question, it is smartest. he is obviously more concerned about the effect of your break on himself, than on you. Good that you have got rid of him. Oh by the way, keep the e-mails! Yes, really!! _/l\_
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