gypsi Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Hi there My girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me 3 months ago, due to me getting completly wasted and treating her like **** one night but the reason i did this is because she left me 3 days earlier that broke my heart but then she said she made a mistake and we patched things up well i got drunk and the emotions just came out that nyt...i feel really bad about that. Ive even stopped drinking and started seeing a shrink just to improve myself. Anyways during those 3 months she said it was over but she still smssed me everyday and we saw each other quite a few times. Until 2 weeks ago when she just descided she had enough and started becoming distant, she said its over and i must move on and that she's done with all my drama. I kept on smsing her but this just annoyed her her lat sms was "we are over, and you are just not use to not geting what you want" and now i think ive lost her completely she is so amazing and id do anything to get her back. Should i just leave her alone and give her space? Or move on even tho i really dont want to lose her. We were so madly in love the week before the split happened which makes this even harder.
playlislay Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Hun, I know the feeling! Its awful when its 'your fault' for the breakup but it seems that you had some sort of chance to reconcile, 3 months to be exact! She is obviously fed up with your actions, the actions that cause the problems etc. She has made it quite clear that she doesnt want to be with you and obviously needs some space. Let her knwo that you understand and respect her decisions, and say that you are going to give her the space that she needs but if she evers needs you then you will be there for her. Then I would back off. Spend the time focussing on improving yourself and your life. Date, take up new hobbies, grow as a person. If she wants you then she will know where to find you.
Art_Critic Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I want her back so badly This is the exact reason that you won't get her back with continuing to contact her... You are dripping of clinginess and that isn't what will work.. A woman doesn't want a guy that is all sappy and clingy.. It's great that you are seeking help for what got you to this point but right now the ONLY possible move you have is to move on completely and not contact her again. Continue with improving yourself as that will help in other relationships that you will have later on.. If she wants to reconcile she knows how you feel and she knows how to get in touch with you.. till then treat her to silence and start dating others... Sometimes people are in our lives for a reason and you may have just found out why she was in your life.. to help you help yourself..
Author gypsi Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Thank you for your reply's it really helped alot, i know i sound like a needy pathetic whimp! Thing is she was always the one chasing after me so the tables have been turned. Its now day 4 of NC and its killing me....she is leaving on a trip on friday should i sms her and just to say goodbye hope you have a good time? This breakup is actually alot more complicated than you think, so much has happened and i screwed up big time because of my drinking...sigh.
Soul Bear Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 What do YOU think you should do? follow your heart but please remember, for action there is a reaction. think through carefully... If she knows your sorry for what you did and said then that is enough. Especially if she knows its something that she did that put you in that mood in the first place. Alcohol does not help any situations Im in the same boat too. I screwed up big time. She knows im sorry. Just a waiting game now.......
Author gypsi Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 i guess i shouldnt sms...il wait till she's back she will be gone for a month. Well i can honestly say she did nothing wrong, you see we went thru some complications months ago she forgave me but now that i got drunk that night and acted like looney thanks to absinth, she's bringing up the past and says she cant believe how love made her so blind! She was my first serious relationship i was so imature had a lot to learn, but i love that woman so damn much !! I honestly would do anything to get her back. But so far ive just managed to drive her further away she said she was planning on getting back togehter but the she changed her mind. We were still hooking up on a regular basis, she says she doesnt want to anymore coz its to good and all the old feelings come rushing back. I never chase after anyone never have before but with her its different i cant give up for some reason.... How long have you been playing the waiting game for soulbear?
Juristhea Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 i guess i shouldnt sms...il wait till she's back she will be gone for a month. Well i can honestly say she did nothing wrong, you see we went thru some complications months ago she forgave me but now that i got drunk that night and acted like looney thanks to absinth, she's bringing up the past and says she cant believe how love made her so blind! She was my first serious relationship i was so imature had a lot to learn, but i love that woman so damn much !! I honestly would do anything to get her back. But so far ive just managed to drive her further away she said she was planning on getting back togehter but the she changed her mind. We were still hooking up on a regular basis, she says she doesnt want to anymore coz its to good and all the old feelings come rushing back. I never chase after anyone never have before but with her its different i cant give up for some reason.... How long have you been playing the waiting game for soulbear? There really is no definite time when it comes to waiting for your ex to come back to you. Sometimes it's a failure because your ex might find someone new without you being there to remind them that you're still there and you still want them back.
Author gypsi Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 Im sitting here thinking about this whole situation, and i am most probably sitting here like an idiot hoping for something thats never going to happen while she's moving on. Plus she made it crystal clear to me that she wants to move on! She's out having a good time and getting over me like she said, and i am miserable coz im clinging to false hope..even tho in the back of my mind i know its over, but apart of me is stubborn and wont accept it which makes me stuck in "Limbo" right now. I asked her if in time when i have matured if she would give us another chance...? And she replied "Never say never, you never know what could happen". And that line fuels my hope for a second chance, i wish she just replied with a simple NO.
Blah Toolz Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 I asked her if in time when i have matured if she would give us another chance...? And she replied "Never say never, you never know what could happen". And that line fuels my hope for a second chance, i wish she just replied with a simple NO. After a break-up, that's Womanese for "Stick around like a whimpering puppy dog, I might throw you a bone every once in a while if I have absolutely nothing better to do." Pretend she did say 'no'. I know it's tough, but think of it this way. You can't control the way she is acting or feeling. What can you control? What you're doing. Find a project to work on to help you keep your mind off her, and take it one step at a time.
Art_Critic Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 She actually did say "No" though.. you just didn't hear her.. By her saying "Never say never, you never know what could happen" you should have enough self respect and have set a boundary for yourself to not allow another person to keep you on the hook like that.. It is up to you how to interpret "Never say never, you never know what could happen".. Most guys would interpret that as a no and say " next ".. I'm not going to wait around for you...
Author gypsi Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 trust me i know these things....its just i broke her heart coz i dumped her in my drunken state...then when i woke up the next morning i couldnt remember all i got was a text for her saying "you broke my heart, and il always love you but i cant do this anymore". Anyways so i smsed her to say goodbye goodluk with your trip last night. (i know i shouldnt break NC!) But i care about her, She replied immediately and asked how i was ect. and she was really friendly. Now i wont talk to her for a month! I came to London hoping we could patch things up, it was looking good..till she went to florence for a week and after that she changed. I just want my girl back!!!!! I am in London i am suppose to have fun for **** sakes!! And i try to but its like theirs a barrier between me and the rest of the world! Ive become such a sad depressing person no wonder she doesnt want to be with me.
Juristhea Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 trust me i know these things....its just i broke her heart coz i dumped her in my drunken state...then when i woke up the next morning i couldnt remember all i got was a text for her saying "you broke my heart, and il always love you but i cant do this anymore". Anyways so i smsed her to say goodbye goodluk with your trip last night. (i know i shouldnt break NC!) But i care about her, She replied immediately and asked how i was ect. and she was really friendly. Now i wont talk to her for a month! I came to London hoping we could patch things up, it was looking good..till she went to florence for a week and after that she changed. I just want my girl back!!!!! I am in London i am suppose to have fun for **** sakes!! And i try to but its like theirs a barrier between me and the rest of the world! Ive become such a sad depressing person no wonder she doesnt want to be with me. Maybe in time you will get her back, but forcing yourself back into her life won't do you any good and will kill your chances of getting her back.
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