PinkRibbon Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Ok this may not be the most adult thing but I find it very relaxing to think of things I didn't like about my ex instead of putting him up on high. So my ex trashing in confined to here so no one knows. 1. He was overweight, buddha belly, and buddha boobs 2. He has bad teeth 3. No class 4. No mental though capacity beyond the word Harley 5. No goals and no future, he is cook at a prison, not even a guard...just a cook 6. wrinkles and wrinkles around his eyes from riding without moisturizer 7. No stamina 8. No creativity:cool: 9. And he got real sweaty:cool: 10. And lastly he does not have me. I am a goddess! I feel so much better right now! Can you feel the love?
9Lives Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I actually like it. I have done the same thing. No more hiding texts from me no more fri/sat plans without me no more private phone calls no more being left on the weekends no more secret friends no more dealing with someone who does not say I love you anymore no more dealing with someonw who does not call me sweet names no more deal with someone who cant pay for dates all the time No more wishing, hoping, that he will change back to the man I loved before this other stuff started happening. I am going to write this several times aday to keep me in rememberance of what I really am missing
Intricategirl Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 No more listening to him talk about the TED spread. My bathroom belongs to me and I can actually use it now that he's not taking marathon craps in it. No more hiding his secrets and adopting them like they were my own. No more justifying why I should not work at a particular job. No more waiting for the "other shoe to drop". It dropped and it wasn't as loud as I expected. No more asking for something to be done a certain way and then being ignored until he decides it's a good idea. I can be as damn creative as I want, and there's nothing he can say about it. The sex is better (and there's not even anyone else with me) I get to go out and do things a lot more often. When I wake up in the morning, it doesn't smell like a sewer in the bedroom. My friends think I'm insanely strong. There's nothing he did that I can't manage, but there are things I did that he has trouble with.
Author PinkRibbon Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 I am feeling the love!! No more being gropped in public No more hearing him say "you're cute". I am damn beautiful and i know it like that is supposed to meake me giggle...You're cute. WOW No more sitting on the back of that bike in the rain for hours No more sitting on the bike in the cold and having my cheeks freeze And no more pretending I enjoy that!
bluewolf17 Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I did this when we first broke up...(things I hated, and am happy for now -No more sleeping in his filthy basement room. -No more putting up with his annoying nerd friends -No more hoping he woke up in time for our date. -No more leaving voicemail after voicemail, making sure he is on time to places. -No more making appointments for him (and other "mother" jobs). -No more dealing with his pyscho family. -The sex is better (with myself). -I look forward to thinking about who I will date next. -I have lost weight, gotten some color, and feel good about myself. -I look forward to going places where I don't know anyone, and meeting people -I no longer worry that I might "set him off". That felt good!
Chinook Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Actually you know, I tried this and it made me feel worse. All power to you guys if it helps. But for me, I loved him once. It's over, I accept that we both had failings. We both played our part in the relationship & in the breakup. I didn't want it to happen but it makes me feel bad to think bad of people. I'm one of those people who always tries to see the best in others. I don't know why it failed, but I do know I didn't do anything wrong & he wasn't into it. It was a shame but sometimes things just don't work out.
Author PinkRibbon Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 I tried seeing the best in him and look what it got me dumped dumped dumped! So I am not going to sit another day and play up his good features. He was a rat skunk fink who dumped me because of a stupid argument that if he hadn't lied there wouldn't have been the discussion. So this makes me feel better.
Chinook Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I tried seeing the best in him and look what it got me dumped dumped dumped! So I am not going to sit another day and play up his good features. He was a rat skunk fink who dumped me because of a stupid argument that if he hadn't lied there wouldn't have been the discussion. So this makes me feel better.Ahh, but looking at his best features isn't about him, it's about you...your outlook and your ability to be better than he is. See..?! You're better than this Pink Ribbon, I know, I've seen your posts. Don't indulge yourself in negativity because of what he did to you. You can rise above it. Maybe not right away, but you can and will. Trust me
Author PinkRibbon Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 I always wondered when I was younger why in the world my grandmother was so bitter and hateful to everyone. She was especially mean to my grandfather and I never knew why and I would buck up to her about being mean to him. Was a thorn in my side because she was just bitter. I found out many years ago why because my grandfather had cheated on her numerous times but she stayed because she was so in love with him. She loved that little old man but at the same time it ate her up. My step dad left my mom about 5 years ago and she is not the same woman. Bitter and mean. She says things about people all the time and never gives always pushes and pushes. She was crazy about him. They were together for 23 years. I mean he cheated and she stayed because of that love she said she felt. But now she is not the mother I remember. I feel just like they do. I can finally understand. I was always telling them to get over it to move on. The past is the past. The same thing we do on here. But I finally can understand and sympathize with them. I am mad. I am angry and I think that anger is just covering up the hurt I feel. If I am angry then I don't hurt. This hurts more than my divorce did. This is don't understand. So now I am angry and bitter and that is not good. But at least I don't hurt. I am my mother and grandmother, my aunt and my sister. I guess it was finally my turn.
Chinook Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 So now I am angry and bitter and that is not good. But at least I don't hurt. I am my mother and grandmother, my aunt and my sister. I guess it was finally my turn.Pink Ribbon, it doesn't have to be that way you know. I know it's hard. I know it's painful. But you know, that hurt shows that you cared. That's not about him, it's about you. It tells you that your heart and your soul has capacity to feel for another human being. The fact that he dumped you is hard for you, of course it is, but it still shouldn't affect who you are and your capacity to love. You will have that capacity again.. maybe not right now, it's too soon. But some day in the future, you will look back at this time and it won't hurt anymore, it won't be as painful and you won't be bitter. By being bitter, that will keep him inside you and really, why would you want to do that...? Let him go, just like he let you go. Come to a place of peace inside you where you can learn and move on. It will take time, but you can do it. I know you can
Author PinkRibbon Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 I am just so angry at myself more than anything. I trusted him fully. The thursday before he broke up with me I told my dentist and his asst for 2 hours how happy I am and how great he was. I have been going to the dentist for 8 years and the assistant was all ears. I was having molds made so I had talking time. I met my gyn that afternoon and told him how great my life was how wonderful this man is. I met friends for lunch and told them how wonderful and great and giving these great examples. Ballgame another group of ladies how really wonderful and special he is. He calls during the game saying he took my teenager McDonalds and he was playing on my computer waiting for me to get hom. Drive safe and he loves me. Friday morning has water delivered for the pool. We are going out of town that afternoon. Huggy kissy huggy. My mom asks when are we getting married and by Saturday afternoon he is gone. I am so flaming mad because I don't get it????? Our arguement was not enough to destroy us. Why couldn't this wonderful man I complimented as said how great he was just talk to me?? just talk is all I wanted. So I am mad as heck right now. maybe one day I will get over this but righ tnow I am mad because there was no reason for this.
Chinook Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 I know hon, I read your story. Fact is, he's a jerk. You're mad right now, but you won't stay that way. It's part of the grieving process. It will go forward. Just don't lose yourself in bitterness along the way. Don't be mad at yourself. YOU did nothing wrong. YOU trusted and you should have done and you can do so again. It was HE who wanted out and trust me, he thought about it before the argument. The argument was just the excuse to do it! It's exactly what my ex did. It's cowardly and it gives you no closure. But know this, it wasn't about you... it was about him. He wanted out. Simple as that. You don't need or want to know why and it's unlikely he will ever tell you. It's late here and I should go to bed but *virtual hug* Take care of yourself lady
Author PinkRibbon Posted April 28, 2009 Author Posted April 28, 2009 You're sweet. Thanks for being the rational voice on my shoulder. Big hug back at ya.
Author PinkRibbon Posted April 29, 2009 Author Posted April 29, 2009 Just wondering...I called Sunday night and left a message on his phone about us getting the items of mine in his garage dropped off so we can wrap this up and be done. Just give me a call so we can arrange. I was nice polite and cheery. But I haven't heard anything and honestly I don't want to call. I would sooner cut my fingers off with a dull butter knife than dial his number. Should I be worried or just hang out and wait. I don't think he will throw the stuff away. Too much to throw away.
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