whichwayisup Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 Nah, write her back and tell her it would be great if all of you did lunch next time she was in Town. If you don't write her back, and you ignore the note she sent you, it'll just look like you're jealous.
Author greengoddess Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 I am and I just want her to go away and NOT call my husband when she is in town. Trying hard not to be. lol I feel like if I say sure I am giving her permission to call my husband not that that matters anyway. So short and sweet and sure all of us can? It seems so silly to me to have these false freindships from 20plus years ago. If you were such good friends then why didn't you keep in touch?
Lucky_One Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 I would probably make a bit of a light-hearted joke out of it, and run across the room and jump into my H's lap on the couch while wearing a sundress and itsy panties and say "Your old friend is driving me out my mind with jealousy because you are so freaking HOT" and then collapse sideways onto the couch while still sitting on his lap, and look up at him mournfully and say "Tell me you still want me??" After he finishes ravishing me, then I would say "Seriously, do you get any weird vibes from her? She is making me a bit uncomfortable, and I don't understand why she wouldn't accept my friend request. What do you think is going on in her mind?" If he is really concerned about your being uncomfortable, then he will unfriend her. It is even ok to suggest it, if it doesn't occur to him "Hey honey, I would appreciate it if you just got rid of her on your friend list. What do you think?" She is an old old friend that he hasn't kept in touch with, and it really is no skin off his nose to lose touch with her now. After all, keeping you comfortable is far more important than keeping some virtual stranger comfortable, right?
stuckinoz Posted May 1, 2009 Posted May 1, 2009 I am and I just want her to go away and NOT call my husband when she is in town. Trying hard not to be. lol I feel like if I say sure I am giving her permission to call my husband not that that matters anyway. So short and sweet and sure all of us can? It seems so silly to me to have these false freindships from 20plus years ago. If you were such good friends then why didn't you keep in touch? Exactly! Although I wouldn't engage anymore with her. Let your husband know she ignored your friend request....& How Patronizing of her to send your husband a note about your request & yet ignore your request. (hmmm interesting) I'd ignore her & hope she goes away .... & suggest to your husband he do the same. No need to give her cart blanch to contact your husband & lunch with him whenever she sees fit. OR visa versa. side note: He should think of this himself though if he really isn't interested in a "relationship" with her - no matter how miniscule.
psiloveyou Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 she sounds shifty if you ask me. If she was genuinely keen to have lunch with you and your family she would have you on her facebook to establish a link of communication but she has avoided it. She's not genuine. If I had got to this post in time I would have said do not send her a friend's request. You think digging around facebook will make an issue less elusive but it never does!! You're still suspicious right? Just tell your husband you're not comfortable with him talking to her AT ALL and that's that. He is your husband, he will respect that. My motto-keep potentially destructive people as far away from you as possible, which means there really is no need for her to drop by and have lunch ever.
Lucky_One Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I'd reply. "Hey Dora, when Pookie and I went out to lunch today, he said that you had gotten my friend request. I am looking forward to your acceptance, so we can plan that lunch! Thanks for all the nice words about the children; they are the spitting image of Pookie, and little Sarah has her Daddy wrapped all around that little finger. He keeps trying to get me to agree to one more, but we are still in the 'trying' stage! Please send my regards to Thomas, and tell him that we look forward to when we can all get together. GG" Nice, polite, friendly, emphasizing his openness about sharing "their" "secrets" with you, reminding her that you two are happy together (as a couple and as a family), reminding her that she has a husband of her own, and emphasizing that the 4 of you should solcialize as couples together. So - what did you end up doing?
sfsassy Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I don't see any reason why you couldn't send her a friend request. If there is nothing there anyway but them being old friends, it shouldn't matter and she shouldn't have a problem with it. BTW, lots of people put up pics on there from way back when. I have had many people I went to school/college with post pics from our high school and college days, and I have done the same. When an opposite sex friend is part of a couple, (especially straight couples, lol.) I friend them both on facebook. even if my opposite sex friend is the one I really know. As for the pictures, she just may not be thinking. It is a bit disrespctful, but it may not be intentionl. I agree you should friend her, and see how that goes.
sfsassy Posted May 2, 2009 Posted May 2, 2009 I'd reply. "Hey Dora, when Pookie and I went out to lunch today, he said that you had gotten my friend request. I am looking forward to your acceptance, so we can plan that lunch! Thanks for all the nice words about the children; they are the spitting image of Pookie, and little Sarah has her Daddy wrapped all around that little finger. He keeps trying to get me to agree to one more, but we are still in the 'trying' stage! Please send my regards to Thomas, and tell him that we look forward to when we can all get together. GG" Nice, polite, friendly, emphasizing his openness about sharing "their" "secrets" with you, reminding her that you two are happy together (as a couple and as a family), reminding her that she has a husband of her own, and emphasizing that the 4 of you should solcialize as couples together. So - what did you end up doing? Perfect! Sorry, hadn't read the whole thread. Maybe she is clueless? If the female part of a couple friended me, I would accept it, as well as write a nice note. I would be a bit suspiscious of this woman at this point.
pparrott Posted May 7, 2009 Posted May 7, 2009 greengoddess..........Where'd you go? I'm curious how this all shook out:confused:
Author greengoddess Posted May 15, 2009 Author Posted May 15, 2009 greengoddess..........Where'd you go? I'm curious how this all shook out:confused: nothing really to update. I just chose to ignore her note and she never added me as a friend. I'm sure she probably had some eyes for my husband but he is not interested. I had considered doing a fake hot married guy and friend request her to see if she is looking for a fling but decided it was silly high school games and just lt it go. Oh and I posted beautiful pictures of a recent 20th wedding anniversary trip my husband and I took and made sure to tag my husband so she would see them. I also got a lot of wonderful comments from friends and my husband on the pictures and had some friends comment about how great we are. lol childish yes, like a dog marking it's territory yes, but it made me feel better.
pparrott Posted May 15, 2009 Posted May 15, 2009 Good for you!!!!! She probably didn't add you as a friend because she might have been a lil' embarrassed. Who knows. Good for you though! & CONGRATS on 20 Years:love:
pparrott Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Reviving this thread...........Question I know Facebook is a fun way to pass the time online & find old friends.....BUT as far as married people on Facebook...... My H has twice the "Friends" I do.........Is it stupid for me to think that him "Pokeing" another woman all afternoon......is a big deal. That "Poke ____(your friend)" thing.....Am I just being insecure? I only see this because I know his password. He does get on Facebook with me sitting right there....doesn't hide it (for the most part) & chats with friends while I"m in the room. Am I making more out of the POKE functino than I should?
Thornton Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 I was on the opposite end of a similar situation recently. I am Facebook friends with an ex, and I occasionally post a comment on his page, but haven't seen him for years and don't intend to. His girlfriend recently sent me a friend request, which I did not accept because I don't even know her and I feel uncomfortable about a stranger seeing every detail of my life on Facebook. So I rejected her request, and she proceeded to send more friend requests and even messaged me to ask me to accept her. I ignored her, thinking that it was very odd that a complete stranger would be interested in the details of my life. I should point out that I have a boyfriend and have no interest in my ex other than as friends. I have nothing to hide; the reason I didn't accept this woman's request is because she's a complete stranger. So just because this other woman doesn't accept your friend request, that doesn't mean there's anything fishy going on.
lora22 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Reviving this thread...........Question I know Facebook is a fun way to pass the time online & find old friends.....BUT as far as married people on Facebook...... My H has twice the "Friends" I do.........Is it stupid for me to think that him "Pokeing" another woman all afternoon......is a big deal. That "Poke ____(your friend)" thing.....Am I just being insecure? I only see this because I know his password. He does get on Facebook with me sitting right there....doesn't hide it (for the most part) & chats with friends while I"m in the room. Am I making more out of the POKE functino than I should? I'm not sure how old you are (and yes, I think that that might come into play here), but as someone of the original FB generation (meaning when it was intended only for specific universities, before they opened it to all colleges/universities, then high schools, then everyone), but for us it is common knowledge that the "poke" thing is only used for flirting. Very rarely, but it does happen, someone will poke a friend that they haven't spoken to for awhile instead of posting on their wall to be like "hi, remember me?" But in those cases, it does not go back and forth. I don't know what "poking" means to people of the next generations.
Stung Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Meh, I'm in my early-to-mid 30s, and most of my FB friends range from late 20s to early 40s. There's plenty of random poking going on, and it definitely has nothing to do with flirting, at least in 99.9% of the pokes at me. I think it's kind of a pointless, but i see it more as a "hey, i don't have time to really come up with an interesting post for your wall, or send you a letter, but i'm saying hi" kind of thing. I'm sure others could see it differently, but I'm pretty sure neither my sister-in-law, my old college roommate, or my gay male* former colleague have secret crushes on me, and they poke me all the time. *I am female.
lora22 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 There's plenty of random poking going on, and it definitely has nothing to do with flirting, at least in 99.9% of the pokes at me. That's kind of what I suspected might be true for people who weren't in that first wave of facebooking We were too lazy and insecure to actually flirt in person and the habit never went away for many
pparrott Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Well, we are in our 40's. Most of our friends on FB are younger - but quite a few 'mom's & dad's' of our kids' friends have pages too. (our kids are 24 & 26) Anyway, I guess I kind of looked at POKE as 'flirting.' I also see the point of it being a HI as well. (One of the "girls" is VERY young & I don't trust her as far as I could throw her, nor do I like her & the other woman is pregnant - so yes, I"m probably being parinoid on that one) Thornton: Have you maybe thought that your ex that you are friends with on FB.......that his girlfriend wants to "Keep an eye on you & what you two are talking about"....(I'm with you though - I never add someone that I don't know) I'd feel a little threatened though if an ex came around & started chatting up my husband.
Heroic Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Post a picture of you holding a shotgun with a crazy look on your face.....with the caption: Dick Cheney Hunt Club Member That will get the messgae across... hehehe
Recommended Posts