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Never thought she would ever contact me again part 2....

Clarenceturbo

By Clarenceturbo
in Second Chances

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Clarenceturbo Member

Clarenceturbo

Posted
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For those of you who don't know my sitch, here is the link.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t186088/

 

I figured that after a week of ignoring my ex's text regarding the stupid paper shredder, she would get the hint that i didn't care about it or her and she wouldn't ask about it again. i was wrong. i got another text a day or two ago saying something like, "I really need to know if you have my paper shredder. I am moving out this week and have lots of papers to go through. please let me know if you have it". It then just hit me that she is moving out of the apartment that we had gotten together and lived in (I left when I found out she cheated on me).

 

I guess what is really bothering me is that she is going through the trouble to contact me over something so stupid. I mean, a paper shredder? really? Why would someone want to reopen those kinds of wounds to get something back that probably cost her ten bucks? It baffles me cuz she seems so happy in her new relationship with our mutual friend. hell, I see pics every now and again of them and they are always happy and having fun. why drag me back in? needless to say, i never answered the second text and don't plan on it either.

 

On the flipside though, ever since she said she is moving, i can't stop thinking about where, or who with. I was doing so good for 4+ months now, not thinking about her, caring less about what she is doing. but now, I feel her poison seeping back and I hate it. It isn't fair! I mean, if she really respected my feelings and wanted me to move on like she said she wanted me to, she would leave me alone. Anyway, I guess I will stay my current course and ignore her at every turn like I have been doing for the last 4 months. It has been helping so much. Any comments or insights would be much appreciated :)

Jay34 Established Member

Jay34

Posted
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just ignore her, thats pretty low isn't it ? she doesn't say hi, doesn't say anything other than i want my paper shredder, she is a loser man, thank god you found out now rather than later.

 

the cheapskate can go buy a new one, i am not sure if she is using that as a way to contact you, but if i just had a breakup and i hurt someone, i wouldn't just say where's my paper shredder, sounds like a selfish, heartless b**ch, ignore her, she should be dead to you forever.

sotired Established Member

sotired

Posted
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I'd tell her it's broken and to quit contacting you....Just so she doesn't keep escalating the communication. If she keeps texting, change your number.

 

I know it's tough, but she is just trying to get to you. Don't let her win. It's probably not a popular opinion here...But cheaters never deserve another chance or another minute of your time.

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

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I wouldn't answer her. I would just continue with NC and try not to dwell on what she is doing now.

 

She's a cheater, who cares?! She'll get her just due in time. You should just move on with your life and put her in the past as best you can.

 

It really doesn't matter why she is contacting you over a paper shredder and please don't look into it anymore than for face value. If you're both young, you're probably both broke. And she thinks it's "no big deal" to ask for something back.

 

Personally if I were you, I'd toss it out so you have one less reminder of her...

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Clarenceturbo Member

Clarenceturbo

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I'm not even 100% sure that I even have it. It might be packed away in a box somewhere, but even so I don't really feel like looking for it just to return it. She isn't broke either. she has 3 jobs and makes plenty of cash, so thats not a problem. I am also trying to take it at face value, but for some reason, my gut tells me otherwise. She was pretty good at stringing me along for the first couple of months we were broken up, which sucked, so that's why im thinking she may be contacting me now just to see if i will bite. I just don't want her to contact me unless she has something meaningful to say. I am in a new relationship with an extremely caring and beautiful girl and I don't want my ex to do these things. I am just hoping that she will get the hint by me ignoring her like I have been.

copaisking Member

copaisking

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honestly, what a cheek! Its a paper shredder and she's trying to leave an emotional anchor in you... so that you do not forget about her. And btw, that mutual friend, is not a friend, he's a douchebag, friends don't date friends exes. Its the unwritten law.

 

If I were you, I would keep on ignoring her, she is your enemy, she cheated on you, she has no respect and is scum. If you want to mess with her and get your power back, send her a $10 gift certificate to Staples with a note saying how much you enjoy shredding with her shredder and that she'll have to buy a new one :)

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Clarenceturbo Member

Clarenceturbo

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hahaha, that is a damn fine idea! i just might have to do that. and as for the guy she is dating now, yeah, he isn't a friend....more of an aquaintance that i rarely speak to. i only speak to him when i see him out and about at the bars downtown and i act normal towards him. we had a two hour long talk in december regarding the situation as they weren't an item then....but screwing around. i finally realized that it was for his benefit, not mine. he wanted to gauge how i still felt about her. since then, probably three times in the last 3 months, he has drunkenly come up to me at the bar and asked me if i would ever take her back if she asked me. the first time i said maybe, depending on what she would do to make it up. the other two times i flat out told him no and that she is his problem now.

CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

Posted
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I'm not even 100% sure that I even have it. It might be packed away in a box somewhere, but even so I don't really feel like looking for it just to return it. She isn't broke either. she has 3 jobs and makes plenty of cash, so thats not a problem. I am also trying to take it at face value, but for some reason, my gut tells me otherwise. She was pretty good at stringing me along for the first couple of months we were broken up, which sucked, so that's why im thinking she may be contacting me now just to see if i will bite. I just don't want her to contact me unless she has something meaningful to say. I am in a new relationship with an extremely caring and beautiful girl and I don't want my ex to do these things. I am just hoping that she will get the hint by me ignoring her like I have been.

 

Ok so here's my advice to you:

 

Your CURRENT G/F deserves all your time/affection.

Your EX G/F deserves NONE of your time/attention.

 

As for her excuses about the shredder, just keep ignoring her. All you need to know about exs is this: Words mean nothing, ACTIONS mean everything. Actions speak from the heart, words speak from the head.

 

So unless she's literally beating down your door (I mean AT your door, not sending emails or text messages) then I wouldn't listen to a word she has to say. And even then, you have a new G/F that deserves a shot at loving you.

 

The same shot you gave your ex, who took it for granted and walked away from you. Always remember that.

 

"Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me."

 

Cheers.

BCCA Established Member

BCCA

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I wouldnt have spent 3 seconds looking for that paper shredder. Too bad for her, its gone, and they seriously cost $10. She just wants to get you to respond, just so she knows she still has you hooked.

 

As for the guy shes dating, why in the world would you even talk to him? I would be polite, but we certainly wouldnt be having any conversations or anything. And him asking you if youd take her back is a giant slap in the face, I would ignore stupid comments like that.

 

Ignore her man, you know its the right thing.

EmperorR Established Member

EmperorR

Posted
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My ex fiance did the same thing after like 30 days of NC contacting me on what would be our 3rd year anniversary asking for a 2 dollar notepad, i just deleted the text and went on my merry way

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Clarenceturbo Member

Clarenceturbo

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Like i said, i rarely talk to him, but when i do, i act normally. neutral if you will. if she is happy with him, then that is great. i do not contact her and i do give my current gf all of my attention and affection. i definately don't sit around and pine for my ex. she wasn't the person i thought she was, and that is the truth. do i think about her from time to time? sure. do i want her back? no. not the person she really is. and for the paper shredder, i havent looked for it at all and i wont contact her back about it. the whole situation is really just a bunch of crap to be honest. when you have history with someone it is difficult not to think about what might be happening. my current gf understands my situation because she went through something similar with her last boyfriend. i took it very very slow with her. after 5 months of hanging out and "seeing" each other, we finally solidified it and became a couple, and i am very happy. the only problem is that i am 30 and she is 20....so there is a bit of an age difference. but the only thing that has affected so far is her going out to the bar with me, which isnt a big deal. i just don't want my ex to prey on what minor feelings i have for her and try to pry her way back into my life for her own selfish reasons. i will remain steadfast my friends. thank you very much for the advice, especially caliguy :)

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