Has the Media raised our Standards for Attractiveness?

[carhill]

Vastly common.... that's why I canceled my Playboy subscription 13 years ago. All the centerfolds began to look "the same". For that matter, so did the other models. Blah...

 

I don't know who's behind this but they should be Photoshopped out of existence

[Trialbyfire]

I love European women

 

Seriously, yes, I examined this aspect of my psychology in MC. TBH, I think there's a duality at work, in that, and I think media does play a role in this, emotional available women don't find my particular brand of "vibe" to be attractive because it controverts their upbringing and messages from society. It will be the rare emotionally available (I don't use EA since it denotes a problem area here LS) woman who sees the mix of, as another poster so aptly put it, gay traits, combined with traditional strong male traits, as attractive. I've reflected very carefully on this matter, with the help of our psychologist, and can't think of one instance where I dismissed such a woman because I didn't find her attractive, and my attraction runs far beyond the physical, which is what media attempts to manipulate.

 

IMO, since media is profit-driven and seeks to generate that profit from our most basic drives, it will always attempt to appeal to aspects of our psychology which controvert our intelligence and common sense. Just like the quintessential Don Jaun, it panders to our emotions, and very successfully, I might add

IMO, your traits aren't "gay" traits. You'll find some, not all of your traits, quite common amongst men, where they need to financially support, save, fix and protect. That you're comfortable with using the descriptive of caregiver, is probably the biggest difference.

 

Media is as anything else, a tool. It's all in how you choose to use the tool.

[Jersey Shortie]

Vastly common.... that's why I canceled my Playboy subscription 13 years ago. All the centerfolds began to look "the same". For that matter, so did the other models. Blah...

 

I don't know who's behind this but they should be Photoshopped out of existence

 

The Heff?

 

 

Really wish more men thought like this. *sigh*

[carhill]

Media is as anything else, a tool. It's all in how you choose to use the tool.

 

I tend to use it as a mirror and look around to see how others use it. Does my philosophy of life match up with the reflection? Does theirs?

 

I'll use your other comments as a mirror also and reflect upon why and how I am directing those signals. Thanks

[Jaytb]

Well I have no clue what quantum mechanics but I don't understand why you are confused by my statement. The media protrays a beautiy ideal that is only met through a team of make up artists, lighting, re-shoots, and photoshop. At the same time, they make all the girls look the same and don't celebrate diversity of beauty. So it becomes both unattainable and vastly common at the same time.

 

It's therefore unattainable in real life because it's not real, and it's common among the "unreal" is what you're saying?

 

Well I think there's still plenty of people that appreciate what's real and what's not. Most guys I think know a photoshopped girl when they see one. Also they tend to realize that magazines and movies do not equal real life. I certainly know that, but then again I don't pay attention to magazine or movies that much.

[carhill]

I get a lot of celebrity candids, both clothed and nude, in the newsgroups and, TBH, the candids are more attractive to me than the made-up, touched-up, perfect images the media shoves at us. They're real; real people with real flaws and real bad habits (sometimes ). The real world. Welcome

[Jaytb]

I get a lot of celebrity candids, both clothed and nude, in the newsgroups and, TBH, the candids are more attractive to me than the made-up, touched-up, perfect images the media shoves at us. They're real; real people with real flaws and real bad habits (sometimes ). The real world. Welcome

 

Oh yeah I've seen the candids before and I don't seem to care either way. I've seen beauty from either side.

 

My girlfriend wears no makeup at all, (very rare that she would) and she's the most beautiful person of all (in my eyes). I guess the moral of the story is don't let your kids watch movies or too much TV. When I was younger, I rarely saw a movie in theaters and watched only Pokemon and the Simpsons on TV lol.

[mr.dream merchant]

It certainly has.

[Sam Spade]

I would add that media also influences the perceptions of attractiveness other than physical one. For example, the common woman image peddled is the one that's independent, has a career, is highly educated and stimulating, whatever. So for the longest time I though that's what I want. Sounds good, but in reality I'm a lot more attracted to the demure/dainty/motherly types and it took me a long time to figure it out, and more importantly - to realise that I'd be an idiot to feel bad about it.

[melodymatters]

Seriously ! I've noticed that all of the major hollywood beauties are starting to look like fetus's !

 

No nose, huge eyes, blown up lips, glued on hair, and then the body: a twelve year old boy with plastic bags in his chest. I watched an old movie last night ( something with carey grant) and appreciated it BECAUSE there were no special effects, CG, and the people looked like PEOPLE !

[shadowplay]

Attraction isn't that simple for women. Sure, you'll find some that are solely driven by media influence but you'll also find that many are driven by their foundational upbringing, whether they acknowledge it or not, are even conscious of it or not.

 

For example, myself. My Dad, who is my hero, whereby I'll always be his little princess, is tall, lean, fit, intelligent, witty/funny, charming, courteous, respectful, successful, polished, with A LOT of integrity and honour. He's dark-haired with dark eyes.

 

Guess what my fiance is like? While their facial features aren't the same, where my fiance has a primarily Greek heritage, therefore, is more dusky, there's a definite similarity, in type of man.

 

My ex-H was similar, except for the integrity, honour, and some notches down in respect, something I rue to this day, in not being as selective as I should have been.

 

But TBF, I think you're lucky in that your father and your fiance happen to completely coincide with the media perception of what's attractive.

[Trialbyfire]

But TBF, I think you're lucky in that your father and your fiance happen to completely coincide with the media perception of what's attractive.

The media perception of attractive is the bad boy, who treats women like dirt. Neither man does that.

 

Also media portrays attractive guys with a pumped body. Neither one of these men have that kind of pumped body shape. More lean muscle mass, corded, instead of pumped.

[Ruby Slippers]

It doesn't work on me. I think I'm pretty good at seeing the mechanism for what it is: a slick and sickening machine designed to encourage maximum personal dissatisfaction and profit. I am specifically turned off by anyone who looks too perfect and plastic.

 

I am disturbed by some of the things I've read about men's reactions in particular to images of "perfect" (fake) women, and the negative impact this can have on their relationships. I have only begun to realize recently how unaware men can be of the tricks and coverups that even real-life women use to project a certain image. For instance, a woman wearing "natural" makeup (not a thick application or a lot of loud colors) is often perceived as wearing no makeup, when in fact she's spackled with foundation, powder, and so on.

 

I can't say all this hasn't had any effect at all on my self-esteem, but I do my best to remain strong in the face of mounting pressures and keep it real.

[Bluebird In My Heart]

iirc, I remember reading about been studies in which a man looked at a woman on a television who was rated as very beautiful...and shortly thereafter looks at his wife/gf. He tended to rate her attractiveness as lower.

 

I think the opposite happened as well, when he saw women that were rated as less attractive, he saw his wife as better-looking when he rated her shortly thereafter.

 

Along the same lines, if a woman looks at a magazine (like Vogue), she'll rate herself as lower. Either that, or be dissatified with her life in general, I only remember this stuff vaguely.

 

There have been other things...people who lived their entire lives without the media's influence suddenly get television...and the people start striving to look/live like the people they see on the shows.

 

It all appears to be relative.

 

Let's put it this way - as long as consumers are dissatifed, unhappy with themselves, they will buy.

 

So...er...guess the mainstream media has an interest in trying to make as many people as possible feel like they don't measure up to some standard.

 

There is reason to believe that there is something inherent in human nature - that part of our genetic heritage is a need to strive. For something. What will that something one strives for be?

 

There's a reason the stuff thrown at us in ads, ect. is just out of reach, it seems. I've noticed a lot of ads imply the product will "change their lives" in some way. Loads of people must feel they have lives that need changing. But why? Is their life that bad? Are they that bad?

 

It's all creating a "need".

 

Don't fall for it.

 

Kill your TV.

 

 

 

*

[Jersey Shortie]

Well I think there's still plenty of people that appreciate what's real and what's not. Most guys I think know a photoshopped girl when they see one. Also they tend to realize that magazines and movies do not equal real life. I certainly know that, but then again I don't pay attention to magazine or movies that much.

 

I have no doubt that 99% of the adult population knows what marks fantasy and reality. That doesn't change the fact that men still drool over fantasy images though does it? Or that they don't put women on pedetals of beauty for it. I agree with what Ruby Slippers touched on, that I don't even think men are fully aware of the affect it has had on them. Strong studies say that young men have more realistic expectations of what a woman should be and look like then their fathers before. I suspect that trend continues. All of the men out there that have little girls, she is already fighting a loosing battle.

 

I am disturbed by some of the things I've read about men's reactions in particular to images of "perfect" (fake) women, and the negative impact this can have on their relationships. I have only begun to realize recently how unaware men can be of the tricks and coverups that even real-life women use to project a certain image. For instance, a woman wearing "natural" makeup (not a thick application or a lot of loud colors) is often perceived as wearing no makeup, when in fact she's spackled with foundation, powder, and so on.

 

 

I completely agree. There was a fun little test done on men in a popular woman's magazine. They asked random men which woman was the most attractive. It was the same women in three different quanities of make up. Little make up, medium amount, and full on make up. Most men said they liked the one that had "little make up" but most of the same picked the woman with the medium amount. You can't blame men for that because men don't use make up and really have no clue what goes into it. But it can be telling about reality and perception.

 

We see all these images of "stars" that we revel in seeing them as real people when the camera catches them out and we love to tear them down and say "see, see, they aren't that hot after all".

 

We all knwo what fantasy and reality is. But that doesn't stop the fantasy from turning men on. And when you are woman, it jsut seems like you are the less exciting option in the face of all the fantasy options men have. You certainly are the reality, and the reality has imperfections. Porn and other men mediums are a projection of what men want women to be. It's pretty telling right there.

[sotired]

Well I guess I'm the only one that's never dated a man that cares about celebrities or pays attention to them. I'm sure you think I'm lying...but my current boyfriend doesn't find any of them attractive, not even porn stars *gasp*. He says they are all fake....and at the end of the day, they are. I guess I've been sheltered but I've never known men that were hung up on the media's ideal of beauty.

 

I see people in real life that are just stunning, but again, it's just a passing "wow he/she is gorgeous"...I don't get caught up in it. I think people that do are extremely shallow and have nothing else of any depth to offer.

 

And really....ANYONE can look like a movie star with enough cash. There are surgeries for everything. I appreciate people that are secure enough not to have to fix every little minor issue....That is what I find attractive.

[Jersey Shortie]

Where are you from sotired?

[sotired]

Tennessee....Grew up in North Carolina

[Isolde]

Though I'm picky, I don't find "Hollywood handsome," to be handsome at all! Except for Hugh Laurie, maybe... (I know he is way too old but damn!)

 

I generally find two "types" attractive (and they're not always mutually exclusive): 1) the boyish, slightly bashful, slightly geeky type, and 2) the type with a diplomatic, social, and charming bearing. While I wouldn't want to date someone too similar to my dad (he's the best dad ever to me, but I don't think I'd be romantically compatible with someone like him), my dad basically has qualities of both 1) and 2).

[Ruby Slippers]

Well I guess I'm the only one that's never dated a man that cares about celebrities or pays attention to them.

I never had till my last boyfriend. My previous boyfriends were the more artsy, brainy types, more "fight the system". My last guy was much more mainstream, and overall I thought it sucked. It was a totally new experience for me to go to the grocery store with my boyfriend and witness him staring at all the celeb magazine covers at length. This guy said he didn't like when girls wore makeup, but my "natural" makeup look never failed to get him more fired up and flirtatious.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Seriously ! I've noticed that all of the major hollywood beauties are starting to look like fetus's !

 

No nose, huge eyes, blown up lips, glued on hair, and then the body: a twelve year old boy with plastic bags in his chest. I watched an old movie last night ( something with carey grant) and appreciated it BECAUSE there were no special effects, CG, and the people looked like PEOPLE !

 

 

 

Agreed! I think they look like they are all morphing into one another. They must all have the same plastic surgeon. Seriously, though, it's like there is a mold and if you don't fit into that mold you won't have a shot.

 

Also, a lot of their noses look too small for their faces. They have strong features and then this little button nose that looks out of place.

[Isolde]

Honestly, the beauty ideal for women has always been high--that's not what's changed. Rather, I feel that individuality is just less celebrated than it used to be.

 

Though old school actors and actresses were far more attractive than "regular people," and thus had unattainable looks, they had a physical presence / force (as Shadow puts it) that justified their celebrity status moreso than today's stars, even if it didn't necessarily translate into a great personality.

 

Ironically, while beauty has become MORE attainable through surgery and advanced cosmetics, it's also become MORE standard. Mind bending, huh?

 

BTW, I see no need to bash conventionally attractive people. I have no problem with standard beauty in either sex as long as it isn't a "fake" look (excessive cosmetics in girls or overgrooming/pumped muscles in guys) and as long as people also recognize that other looks can be attractive in their own right. I may never have a tiny nose but it doesn't mean I'll say a smaller one is "fake and a turn off" to make myself feel better

[fishtaco]

I think the media has warped our perceptions of attractive, rather than raised it. In fact the media has managed to supplant natural attraction, and has replaced it with pre-fab unreal expectations.

 

I sort of agree with this more. Although I wouldn't say warped. More like just changed.

 

I remember reading somewhere that back in the day, before media and all that, the "beautiful" look were overweight women with "translucent" skin from lack of sun. Probably because if you worked you'd be out in the sun. And only the wealthy and noble could afford to eat enough to get fat and stay indoors all the time.

 

Or if you watch National Geography shows, I remember this tribe that thinks women with long necks are beautiful, so they would all wear these stacks of heavy brass rings around their necks to "stretch it". It ended up pushing their shoulders down instead, and weakening their neck muscle and bones to the point that their neck would break should these rings be removed. But it did look like as if they have longer necks.

 

Or the Chinese "foot binding" where the feet were repeatedly broken and bound tightly so they never grow much larger than the ankle, but that was teh hawt back in the day, probably as recent as 100 years ago.

 

At least huge silicon knockers aren't nearly as debilitating.

 

Every culture has different ideas of what's beautiful. Even if the media weren't around something else would dictate what's considered beautiful.

[IrishCarBomb]

People sometimes date because their partner signifies high social status. When media says "this sort of woman is what is attractive", some guys will go after that type because it tends to show that since they can date socially favored women, it means that they are also in high social status.

 

The problem is that this mentality betrays any foundation of a relationship. Being attracted to a person because media says so would show that a guy didn't care about what he thought about his girlfriend, but rather he cares more about the fact that he looks like a bigshot when he has that type of girl. It comes off as disingenuous and insecure.

 

So if you want to be somebody's "prize", go ahead and follow the media's presentation of what is attractive. However, you'll be better served if you focus on your own self-improvement and self-actualization rather than just doing what TV tells you. You're better off asking yourself what is attractive, than looking to others.

[Ruby Slippers]

^ Great post, ICB! When I go out and see people all trying so hard to look alike, I think it's too bad they don't feel they have anything more to work with or offer than the packaging.