kismat Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 So, i've been with my boyfriend for two years now... things are great with us... on some levels, i think he's the one... we both support each other and encourage each other to go further professionally... we both value the same things, we take care of each other and love each other so much.. i could completely see us being happy together... so the thing is (and i don't want to sound immature - we're both late 20's)... lately, i am just not into the sex anymore... its been going on for a while actually.. i'd say since the start of the year. I just haven't been in the mood.. and when he kisses me, i kinda just don't enjoy it :S... i'm trying to take the negative thoughts out of my head.. but its like i don't find him sexy anymore like i used to... I used to be the one initiating things... even he has noticed that i'm not into things anymore, and i don't know what it is... we try to spice things up.. but its like its just not there anymore... anyone ever been in a similar situation!??!
AlektraClementine Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 According to my girlfriend who's been married for 12 years....it comes and goes sometimes. She was going thru a pattern a few months back where she just didn't feel turned on by her husband. She said even then, "I'm not worried. It'll come back. I just have to talk to him." Last week she reported that the dry spell was over. While I believe sex to be important in any romantic relationship, it isn't everything. From what you describe, you have a good thing going. Talk to him about it. Is there anything he used to do that really got you turned on? Has he stopped doing those things? Is there a change in your overall health (weight gain or stress level?) Are you bored? Honestly, I think that if we ended our relationships every time when went thru a patch like this, no one would get or stay married. To answer your question, yes I've gone through this before. My feelings came back. The reason I use my girlfriend as an example is because she's been at this longer than me and is more of an "expert".
Sam Spade Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 No matter who you are with, even if they're the hottest person on earth, eventually you get used to them and attraction will get toned down. So you need to trick yourself (your brain) out of it. I've done it in a 5 year relationship, and it's not that hard.
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