tapout Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Hi. New here, although i do read the posts from time to time. So after a good 11 months away from the dating scene, i happen to start having those exciting feelings for a guy i know and he has found out i like him due to a rather younger friend of mine , who thought it would be good to tell him. To be fair i was not that bothered that she told him as he responded well to her and said he would like to take me out and that he would talk to me about it. Anyway , i didnt hear from him, but he has been flirting with me, the usual thing, teasing, pushing me, lots of eye contact, showing off etc. He just seemed unable to ask me out. So after a bit of digging, i find out via his friend he is single, but prehaps a bit scared. I then decided to hell with it and send him a text telling him i like him , i would love to talk to him , could we go out sometime and see what happens. He didnt reply. Hindsight, prehaps that is a big hint...however he continued to flirt with me, so i called him as i cant seem to get him on his own to talk...he never answered the phone. The next week his mate said to me, i have bad news for you, he has a girlfriend and he has asked me to tell you as he does not like hurting people. I was a little shocked and annoyed he ever had the balls to talk to my face, but i simply sent him a text saying sorry , i would not have asked you out if i had known you had a girlfriend. Win some lose some. See you soon. Hummmmmmmm. I am an adult, might not sound it right now, but sometimes in life you end up in weird situations and you just flow with it, after all , its been a while since i have wanted to date... Do you think my pushy was put him off? or that he is being honest and the whole thing about wanting to take me out and the flirting is just a game? I have seen him since, and its been fine, i wasnt weird around him and he wasnt weird around me. He did say to me , lets have a chat later, but to be honest, i was in a rush that day and didnt wait around for the "chat". And to be fair, i was the pushy one , so i thought it would be fairer on him to not have to go through the pain of explaing to me why he didnt want to go on a simple date. That same day he said to his mate in front of me, she is pretty isnt she.) and i thought that was a nice thing for him to say, but also felt maybe he felt bad about everything and was just trying to say , i think your cute, but thats it. But again i also felt confused, if you want to push a girl away , surely you would not compliment her!?? I dont chase guys with girlfriends and was very shocked to find out he has a girlfriend and i may be well of the track here, but my gut is saying it is just an excuse and that he does not have a girlfreind. I know from his mates that they all didint know and that he naturally never texts or answeres his phone and he even said to me when we first met , that his ex cheated on him and when i said to him that i am off dating (this was a good 3 months ago) he said yer me to , i cant and dont have time for it. I just dont know how to take this forward now. Should i forget it and carry on acting like nothing ever was said. Any suggestions. I do like him a lot and to be honest i have acted completly the same around him, if anything a little less flirting and i know that i can move on etc, but i would like a chance with this guy. Its just a bit of a shame.
Mahatma Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 As soon as I read that you were told he had a girlfriend, I was thinking "no he doesn't..." Trust your gut, and move on. The dude is too cowardly to just say no to you. I also think your texting and calling him was a mistake. You jumped the gun way too fast. You should completely back off of him and just learn from your mistake.
Author tapout Posted April 26, 2009 Author Posted April 26, 2009 Thanks for the reply and I am glad that I initally backed off and will continue to do so now and leave it well alone. What you said i agree with also, i think i did jump to fast, thought i was dealing with a shy guy who was scared to date. Note for the future, take it SLOW!.
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