is he just playing a game ? is it just for sex?

[trenino]

I knew this guy through dating web and finally we met up 3 - 4 weeks ago. The 1st date went well, we had a good time and i could see he is interested. The next day he texted me and asked me when he could meet up again. So we met up again and at the end of date he kissed me. The next day he came to my office and surprised me. So we had a coffee together and a good laugh.

The next day i went overseas for a short break and he texted me several times and asked me when i will be back. So i told him that it is nice for him to think about it but i dont want to trouble him. He replied " it is no trouble when you like someone". I didnt say much as i dont know whether he is serious or just pulling my legs.

The day i arrived , he was in the airport but i was so ignorant and didnt even know that he was there. I walked so fast n took a cab n missed him. He called me quickly and tried to catch me. anyway that night he told me that he want to meet me. He said that he promise that he is not playing me, at his age and he wants to be with someone and tired of being alone. When we met he hugged me & kissed me for quite long then we carried away and ended up in bed.He whispered on my ear that he fell for me. But I didnt know if it is true or it is just because he was in the mood for sex.

Anyway, the next day he contacted me again and asked me to have dinner with him. So we met again.

 

Since that night, most of the time he texted me he kept on bringing up sex and how much he enjoyed it. etc.

I began to wonder if he is just into sex so i told him that i want to slow down and made it clear that i dont want the relationship becomes too physical. He said that sex should nt be a problem and he wants me to be more than just a friend.

yesterday we met again, he brought me around his office and showed me around his working place, explained to me what he is doing everyday. then we went for dinner together. after that he texted me and said that he had a good time with me.

 

i notice his acts differently after we had our 1st sex. Or is it just my feeling? he calls less and i saw his profile in the dating website still there.it made me wonder if he is just trying to get anyone for a back up.

 

Please give some advice ...as i dont want to end up wasting my time for someone who is just into sex.

[TaraMaiden]

he has very high sex drive, by the sound of it, trenino (little train!)

 

Go at your own pace.

Do not be pressured into doing anything you do not feel in the mood to do.

never do anything with the motive of pleasing somebody else, or because you think you should.

if he is continually persistent and talks of sex, tell him that it is getting on your nerves, and perhaps your drives are mismatched, as to you it is not something constantly necessary?

 

Mismatched drives is extremely common.

but see how he takes this.

And go from that point, I think.....

[xpaperxcutx]

I honestly believe he might actually just be in it for the sexual gratification. The need to continuously focus on sex is very disturbing, unless he only says these things to get a rise out of people. But I would imagine that any guy in the midst of courtship would be discrete on how they would act in front of the lady they're courting. This would include, being a gentlemen, being understanding, and supportive. So if he pressures you into sleeping with him, and you find yourself getting less and less attention from him because of it, then he might have just played one of his little games with you.

[trenino]

this guy told me that he has a high sex drive and he said i hope it doesnt scare me off. I am kind of having mix feeling about it. Because i am still not sure what is he up to actually. Is he pretending that he is into me? while he was bringing me around his office (it was weekend so very quiet), he kissed me and he got horny but i said i will not do sex in his office.1st i dont think that is a good idea, 2nd i dont want to get caught to have sex in "public" space.

 

anyway, what is the best way to stop him for any sexual thing? I dont want to have sex with someone that i am not comfortable with and feeling unsure abt him. I dont think i love him, i do like him but it is too early for me to decide.

 

What should i do to distract his mind from sex? Should i avoid him ? should i tell him off? or just disappear?

[trenino]

ok.. i have been more casual and treating him like a buddy. Then he chat with me via msn and told me that he wanted meet me. I told him that i am busy and i cant see him. i keep on ignoring him... n one night he texted me " i wanted to see you but i am getting the idea that you want to be friends. i am confused y you've changed". i replied him " what do u mean with i have changed ?" he replied " you have gone cold on me ".

i just replied " lets talk abt it tomorrow. if you want to talk about it i prefer to talk abt it in person rather than sms."

the next day he chated with me again via online that he missed me and wanted to see me and would like me to give him a chance.

so after such a long discussion, we met up. we cuddled and hug each other till morning. then he asked when he can meet my parents. I was rather surprised with that question. Because i feel that it is too rush for me to bring him to see my parents. And the next morning, he hugged me in bed and asked me if i want children. I was more confused with his question.

so i said i dont want to have a kid at this time but perhaps few yrs from now.i am a bit freaked out because it is too early for him to say such a thing. and he treated me as if i am his gf. I wonder if he said this just to give me a better impression or just simply a trick..?

am i actually in a relationship? when we are both together, he is very cuddly but the thing is he didnt call , only chat via computer.if he missed me he would have called me and not just sms or internet thing. He said he has been busy with his overseas guest and his father is in critical condition. To me it sounds like another BS or he just made up something. am i right? please give me some advices..

[MissHollywood]

What got my attention is the pace at which he moves. Everything seems to be extremely fast. What sizzles fizzles.

 

You need to move at your own pace. Or not at all. Even if he genuinely likes you but has a tendency to move at lightning speed, there are warning signs.