I hope this one stands out to you.....

[these_issues]

I wish there was some way I could.. just speak with him. I know he's doing the right thing- "I've got to get over her"- etc..

He thinks I cheated on him. I DID NOT. Im not a whore. I did break up with him tho. Hate me for it. I know its been difficult for him. But it has been hard for me as well. I miss his sense of humor. I miss our conversations. He was my best friend.

Im with someone else now. and happy .

But how can you soo easily "hate/forget" your *once* best friend? I ...by all means DO NOT want to hurt him. and if he's healing, then... I guess this is for the best. But... I just want to say hello. To talk. to ask how he is. Is that soo wrong of me? I cared for the man! Damit! lol..

idk. I hate this whole... * no official ending* thing. Can we be friends again one day? or should he just tell me to f*** off.

 

This is just a poorly put together rant, per say, about... the issue. What can I do?

Im not trying to *spite* him or justify me being right in breaking up with him... I literally... just want to see how he is.. Have a nice conversation. & there is no way I could explain that to him. He wouldnt believe me. or even worse.... It would make him slip in the battle he's fought soo hard to get over me.

*sigh* I really.. dont know what to do here.

For no reason at all Ive thought about him lately. so NC makes it seem like an endless void of unanswerable questions and thoughts, etc. which makes me dream about him. & of course things are easier in the dreams. We talk.. We're friends. its nice.

So then I wake up with the desire growing more & more to just say hello.

But from the other perspective it seems like the worst idea ever. and come to find out.. if he responds, its like he wasnt being strong and he's breaking the NC *rule*....

I guess you could even ration from this... that I may be selfish. in wanting to say hello. Cuz I know hes trying to move on. ....g**d***it.

ugh.

idk.

IDK IDK IDK.

Someone just kick me in the butt please.

[Twist]

How long ago did you break it off? How long as it been NC?

 

To me how I see it. Just let him be for now.

Let him heal. Let him get over what happened. Let him purge out the bad memories. Let him get back on his two feet. Once hes completely moved on you can talk to him.

 

Talking to him now while he is trying to heal is going to put salt on the wound and bring him back to day one.

 

Its hard I know. Its because you want closure. I'm sure he wants it too. For right now you focus on yourself and your new life and let him do the same. You'll know when the time is right to full disclose what happened.

[these_issues]

Thank you.. Even though I'm spilling out tears right now.. I think it was what I needed to hear. To be backed up.. (I just posted another bulletin like 3 min. ago about my final decision of letting him *move on* so to speak) So.. It really helps knowing that I'm making a good decision to not talk to him.. no matter how hard.

*sigh*

It really is for the best, isnt it?

[vessv6l]

How long ago did you end it with him and how long were you with him for?

How long after you ended it with him did you find someone else?

 

Im in the situation of the guy. He's not speaking to you because he needs to heal which you are aware of. Im not sure how long its been since you broke it off but id say give him time to move on completely. Maybe in time he will contact you again, or maybe you can send him an email in the future just saying hello and asking him how he is going.

 

Im in a position where NC is important to me so i can move on with my life. I felt betrayed by the person i was with and he probably feels the same. Can i ask, what caused you to break it off? I still love her and care for her but seeing her or speaking with her only would make it hard for me to move on. And to be honest her saying she wants to be friends etc to me feels like she just wants me in her life to make her feel better about herself and her decision which may or may not be true, but its the way i feel. He probably feels the same.

 

You say you miss his conversation and sense of humor etc. If this person was that important to you why did you end it? What about the relationship wasnt making you happy? Did he have an oppiunity to change things so it would work? Would you have given him that oppitunity?

[Moonbloodsflow]

I'm going to guess there's some reason why he thinks you cheated on him. I'm not saying this is the case, but you do realize that cheating is more than having sex with someone else, emotionally cheating? You said you were not a whore but you don't have to be banging another dude to be cheating. It sounds like to me you need to just leave the guy alone. I think it's very selfish of you to want to talk to him.

 

You make your EX sound like some sort of beat up animal. I don't know, your post just rubbed me the wrong way.

 

"I've got to get over her"-- Is this the image you have of your EX? That he's struggling to get over you? It may be the case but it just seems like a stupid selfish image to have in your head and then want to talk to him. I doubt he wants to talk to you as friends and probably won't for a long time, if ever. People don't like to be downgraded. How can you expect someone to take a lesser role with you?

 

"But how can you soo easily "hate/forget" your *once* best friend?" --I'm sure he was asking himself the same question when you broke up with him and got into another relationship. Let's be fair here...

 

It doesn't sound like to me you should be in another relationship either if you aren't over your EX. You may think you're but judging by your posts here it doesn't seem to be the case. And how is you talking to your EX fair to your new relationship? Once again, selfish fulfillment.

 

I apologize to everyone if I sound abrasive but I think I'm being pretty realistic and fair here. I'm on the better side of a break up now and am doing well and speaking from my experience/position.