Dad might be cheating

[TaraMaiden]

Rather than 'agreeing to disagree', why,instead of talking of God, do you not tell me where I am mistaken? Forget God for the moment, because as an ex-christian, I am perfectly able to discuss matters from that angle.

Tell me, why you think I am wrong.

The problem is, people assume that if emotions play a part in decisions, then there is some basis to the feelings.

This is not the case.

Emotions are present, but all too often they are an obscuration to the real issue.

They distort matters and cause people to think in an abstract manner.

And whilst emotions are important, and should be validated, it is vital that they do not drag up other irrelevant factors.

 

The daughter can feel as emotional as she wishes.

But ultimately, whatever happens, she will have to deal with what her parents do - from a distance.

Because their emotions are not for her to take upon herself.

And hers, are not theirs.

[bentnotbroken]

Rather than 'agreeing to disagree', why,instead of talking of God, do you not tell me where I am mistaken? Forget God for the moment, because as an ex-christian, I am perfectly able to discuss matters from that angle.

Tell me, why you think I am wrong.

The problem is, people assume that if emotions play a part in decisions, then there is some basis to the feelings.

This is not the case.

Emotions are present, but all too often they are an obscuration to the real issue.

They distort matters and cause people to think in an abstract manner.

And whilst emotions are important, and should be validated, it is vital that they do not drag up other irrelevant factors.

 

The daughter can feel as emotional as she wishes.

But ultimately, whatever happens, she will have to deal with what her parents do - from a distance.

Because their emotions are not for her to take upon herself.

And hers, are not theirs.

 

 

As you said you are an ex-Christian, which says to me you didn't want to live your life that way. I respect your choice. As a Christian I know that emotions are a gift from God. Without his love(an emotion) for us, he would have never taken on human form(Jesus) and stayed on that cross for our sins. Your view is that the family members are separate and not a unit affected by the acts of one of it's members, I don't think that way or have I raise my children that way. I wasn't raised that way. We have a large loving family and our dynamic has worked for quite some time.

 

The problem as I see it is, you assume that what you say is correct and absolute. There is nothing abstract about considering having emotions, using them for good and showing them when needed. Again, we will disagree. As you believe I am wrong, I certainly believe you are dead wrong. We can go back and forth for weeks and I am certain, we won't change the others stance on the subject.

[dunstable]

I agree with nearly all of what TaraMaiden said.

 

I think it is very dangerous for the daughter to pass information to her mother without knowing the full facts. There are circumstances where a discrete affair may be the best for everyone involved. An example: a man who's wife is severely and long-term mentally ill and no longer able to be a proper wife to him but who he still wishes to care for, while not making his own life a complete tragedy too.

 

Ultimately, it is down to the daughter's judgment but she should try to have empathy with her father and visualize herself in his position before she discloses anything.

[bentnotbroken]

I agree with nearly all of what TaraMaiden said.

 

I think it is very dangerous for the daughter to pass information to her mother without knowing the full facts. There are circumstances where a discrete affair may be the best for everyone involved. An example: a man who's wife is severely and long-term mentally ill and no longer able to be a proper wife to him but who he still wishes to care for, while not making his own life a complete tragedy too.

 

Ultimately, it is down to the daughter's judgment but she should try to have empathy with her father and visualize herself in his position before she discloses anything.

 

 

Why? Her mother doesn't deserve to know if she has been exposed to anything? God never condones A for anyone, certainly not for the strength of the family. There is never a circumstance where an A is best for anyone.

[dunstable]

God never condones A for anyone, certainly not for the strength of the family. There is never a circumstance where an A is best for anyone.

My dear chap, god doesn't exist except as a figment of your imagination.

 

If he did exist, apparently he himself came down to earth and had sex with a virgin to whom he was not married and let another man bring up his child!

[whichwayisup]

My dear chap is a chapette..lol

 

Ultimately, it is down to the daughter's judgment but she should try to have empathy with her father and visualize herself in his position before she discloses anything.

 

I don't think any daughter, or son for that matter, is going to visualize and put themselves in their parents shoes (one that is cheating) to try to understand her fathers position.

 

If anything, she should now talk to her father about this.

[dunstable]

My dear chap is a chapette..lol

 

Apologies:o

 

I don't think any daughter, or son for that matter, is going to visualize and put themselves in their parents shoes (one that is cheating) to try to understand her fathers position.

Disagree that it could not happen because I did exactly that in my life.

 

If anything, she should now talk to her father about this.

 

Don't disagree with that but think she should do it gently and non-judgmentally as I think TaraMaiden suggested early in the thread.

[bentnotbroken]

My dear chap, god doesn't exist except as a figment of your imagination.

 

If he did exist, apparently he himself came down to earth and had sex with a virgin to whom he was not married and let another man bring up his child!

 

 

My dear non believer, I don't tell you what to believe because I am not qualified to tell you what rolls around in your imagination and you aren't qualified to tell me what is a figment of my imagination and what isn't. Cheerio:)

[dunstable]

My dear non believer, I don't tell you what to believe because I am not qualified to tell you what rolls around in your imagination and you aren't qualified to tell me what is a figment of my imagination and what isn't. Cheerio:)

Well then, why cite god as your authority when you know not everybody believes in him? Why not give an argument based on rational thought rather than on an appeal to authority? Toodle pip.

[bentnotbroken]

Well then, why cite god as your authority when you know not everybody believes in him? Why not give an argument based on rational thought rather than on an appeal to authority? Toodle pip.

 

There was no need for me to argue with you. You stated your opinion and I stated mine. I really don't have a problem with others not belielieving in Him. It won't change the way I view and live life. All my opinions, thoughts and actions will based on that belief system and I am happy with it. Toodle do and whatever to you too;)

[dunstable]

All my opinions, thoughts and actions will based on that belief system and I am happy with it. Toodle do and whatever to you too;)

I'm sorry that your belief system takes priority over rational thought. Best wishes.

[bentnotbroken]

I'm sorry that your belief system takes priority over rational thought. Best wishes.

 

 

And I am sorry that your rational thought takes priority over God. Many blessings to you and your family.

[TaraMaiden]

There was no need for me to argue with you. You stated your opinion and I stated mine. I really don't have a problem with others not belielieving in Him. It won't change the way I view and live life. All my opinions, thoughts and actions will based on that belief system and I am happy with it. Toodle do and whatever to you too;)

And herein lies your problem.

This is not about you.

This is about someone who is not you, and may not have any belief in God, so for someone to give advice based on a Theistic aspect, to someone who may be atheist or agnostic but who has nevertheless not requested any assistance based on God, is a mistake.

If somebody asks 'what would God wish me to do?', then answer using God as an underlying premise.

It is an error to impose one's own belief system upon someone else when it is uninvited.

 

Breaking marital vows is just about as atheist as you could get. So I think any advice based on a Christian premise would probably fall on deaf ears, anyway. If indeed an affair exists.....

 

Unfortunately, it seems the OP has chosen to not return to check up on the thread, so all discussion is largely academic.

[bentnotbroken]

And herein lies your problem.

This is not about you.

This is about someone who is not you, and may not have any belief in God, so for someone to give advice based on a Theistic aspect, to someone who may be atheist or agnostic but who has nevertheless not requested any assistance based on God, is a mistake.

If somebody asks 'what would God wish me to do?', then answer using God as an underlying premise.

It is an error to impose one's own belief system upon someone else when it is uninvited.

 

Breaking marital vows is just about as atheist as you could get. So I think any advice based on a Christian premise would probably fall on deaf ears, anyway. If indeed an affair exists.....

 

Unfortunately, it seems the OP has chosen to not return to check up on the thread, so all discussion is largely academic.

 

 

The post you quoted was directed at you or the original poster. It was directed at the person who asked me the question. I am not imposing anything on you, if you don't like the way I live my life....oh well. Since the OP isn't the one who may or may not have committed adultery, what's your point? Everything you are telling me is based on if I were talking to an adulterer, I wasn't. And so you believe anything I say is a mistake since all my actions are based on pleasing God, not you, it will be my mistake to make and I will have to answer for leading someone wrong. And herein lays your problem. Have a blessed day.

[dunstable]

The post you quoted was directed at you or the original poster. It was directed at the person who asked me the question. I am not imposing anything on you, if you don't like the way I live my life....oh well. Since the OP isn't the one who may or may not have committed adultery, what's your point?

This little line of discussion originated when you stated "There is never a circumstance where an A is best for anyone." You gave as proof that god could never condone it. You committed the logical error known as argument from authority that goes like this:

 

 

1. Source X says P.
   
2. Source X is authoritative.
   
3. Therefore, P is true.
   

[bentnotbroken]

This little line of discussion originated when you stated "There is never a circumstance where an A is best for anyone." You gave as proof that god could never condone it. You committed the logical error known as argument from authority that goes like this:

 

 

1. Source X says P.
   
2. Source X is authoritative.
   
3. Therefore, P is true.
   

 

 

OOOOKKKKAAAAYYYY:laugh:

[TaraMaiden]

The post you quoted was directed at you or the original poster. It was directed at the person who asked me the question.

This sentence doe not make sense to me....?

 

I am not imposing anything on you, if you don't like the way I live my life....oh well.

I never suggested you were imposing anything on me. I was telling you you are imposing it on the original poster when it was not asked for.

 

Since the OP isn't the one who may or may not have committed adultery, what's your point?

 

My point is that imposing a deistic approach on anyone who has not asked for is it presumptuous. However, it is common amongst christians to proselytise in any way they can, whenever they can, so it may be unwarranted but it is also unsurprising.

 

Everything you are telling me is based on if I were talking to an adulterer, I wasn't. And so you believe anything I say is a mistake since all my actions are based on pleasing God, not you, it will be my mistake to make and I will have to answer for leading someone wrong. And herein lays your problem.

That's really very funny! Since when does you being wrong become my problem?

 

Have a blessed day.

is there any other kind?

 

_/l\_