stevec Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 wife of many years is considering moving out and we have 1 teenager. she does not work currently but has very marketable skills. child will remain with me. can i create a separation agreement that requires her to work full time?
seibert253 Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Yeah it's real simple. Tell her if she leaves your marriage, she's on her own. Since you have your child you're not obligated to pay her a dime unless ordered by the court. You haven't given a lot of info, such as is she abandoning your marriage, or is this seperation mutual. Since she's the one leaving, I assume (big if here), this seperation is her idea. If it were me, I wouldn't give her a dime. You want to be free and on your own, fine, no problem, good luck Peace,
Intricategirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 It's very hard to answer. First, there's stuff like what the laws of your state are, and reasons for the separation, etc. And it's even more complicated than that. My husband considered me to have "very marketable skills" when he left. Based on me being out of the work force for 8 years, and no degree because I dropped out of college to raise kids... In other words, your expectations of the job she can find are not necessarily in line with what she can actually find. And especially in this job market, it could be difficult. Now, that's not me taking her side and saying, "No way! Pay her!" It's just a difficult question to answer. The child support is easy. If you're raising the kid, YOU will get child support. And from what I understand, you cannot waive any money the child is owed by saying, "Nah, I'm good. I've got enough to raise my child." But if you're the only breadwinner currently, then that also plays into the calculations. Best advice- get to an attorney and let them sort it out. Go into the meeting armed with the most details you can about where she's worked in the past, salary, how long ago that was, etc. If she's got the skills you say, you probably won't need to do alimony, but I'm not sure you can require her to work full-time. Frankly, after you split up, it's not your concern anymore, just so long as the checks get there on time.
Ronni_W Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 can i create a separation agreement that requires her to work full time? Yes and no. You can write-up an agreement with whatever stipulations you want. But. The laws in your jurisdiction will still govern...just as they do in ANY contract of ANY nature. And would be subject to your stbx's agreement, as well. Generally. The stay-at-home spouse is entitled to receive alimony (spousal support/maintenance) for a specified amount of time. Two years, five years, whatever. This is to ensure that they don't immediately become destitute, and also seen as a period for them to make themselves "workforce ready" - upgrade skills, etc. Alimony is separate from child support which, in your case, you would be entitled to receive since you will have (I'm assuming) full custody. Highly suggest that you contact a family law attorney in your area -- best to just work from the ACTUAL facts and legalities. DivorceMag.com has general legal articles by US state, so perhaps you can find out some of the basics through that. Best of luck. EDIT: That is, basically a lot of what Intricate said...our posts "crossed in the mail" :-)
bluechocolate Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Try this: http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/separation/f/legal_separatio.htm
Author stevec Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Additional details. She is a nurse, has had some income each year. Custody joint. And state does not legally recognize separation. So wouldn't it be logical that the terms would need to be negotiated through our legal teams?
bluechocolate Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I have to echo the previous posters & say you really need to talk to a lawyer about this stuff. Don't take this as a brush off, just that no one here can answer questions about legal matters with any authority.
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 my question is...is there someone else in the picture? Does she need to find herself? Mid life crisis. I mean she's giving up custody of her child to find her own place, she sounds crazy off the bat and leaving a potentially good marriage doesnt make sense.
Intricategirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 The easiest answer is yes, it would need to be worked out through your legal teams. That being said, it's still going to be almost impossible, I would think, to force her to work full-time. Here's an example of why- in my situation, my ex and I were able to work out an agreement we both thought was fair, without the aid of lawyers. With child support and alimony, his payments are high enough that he probably could not find a part-time job that would pay enough to cover the full amount. And I stipulated that he should make every effort to remain employed at that pay level or higher. So, even though I cannot force him to keep a full-time job, he is legally obligated to pay me an amount that almost makes it required. As far as actually forcing him to keep it, after the split, I don't get a say in where he works. If he can pull that much in working part-time at McDonald's, then that's his choice. (And a quick caveat: There are risks to doing it the way we did. I recommend using a lawyer just to make sure it's all good and legal.)
delajoonal Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 you both can negotiate the situation, IF the relationship is at a place that you both can sit down and 'work out' the details, i.e. alimony, child support, property, etc. then you can take ALL the final negotiations to an attorney or a Divorce Center that specializes in assisting people who can't afford 20k for attorneys, OR even if you can, why spend that kind of money when you don't have too? there are some attorneys or even paraglegals that all that do is help people submit their Divorce or Legal Seperation papers to the courts, this can run about 500 dollars. BUT this can only be done if you are both at a place in your heads that can make negotiating the $$$$ fair. since you have a child involved and your wife has some skills, but may not be at a place that her skills can take her into a full time position? alimony, in most states, is based on lenght of marriage, anything over 10 years in considered 'LONG TERM" and therefore, another set of rules apply. meaning, you may have to pay your wife alimony for half the length of your marriage( if married under 10 years) , some times less, so she can get new skills or upgrade her current job skills? if you are at a place where you both basically 'hate' each other and cannot get along or negotiate anything, then by all means, legal teams, attorneys etc. are absolutely in need. good luck...keep us posted:)
Gunny376 Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 In most jurisdictions? Yes you can force her to support herself instead of paying alimony. What you would have to do is retain an attorney, subpoena her college transcripts, perhaps one or two former employer representatives, etc and demonstrate that she has the capacity and propensity to support herself.
Billy Bob Posted April 28, 2009 Posted April 28, 2009 ? alimony, in most states, is based on lenght of marriage, anything over 10 years in considered 'LONG TERM" and therefore, another set of rules apply. meaning, you may have to pay your wife alimony for half the length of your marriage( if married under 10 years) , some times less, so she can get new skills or upgrade her current job skills? This varies from state to state.. a "long term" marriage was 15 years in Washington State.. After 13 years of marriage I wasn't required to pay any alimony.. I think quite a few states aren't so hot on awarding alimony anymore..
delajoonal Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 california is under 10 years half the length of marriage, over 10 years, considered "long term", they also take into consideration 3 things really, age, health and marketable skills...and then if awarded, it is usually 25% of the one paying alimony income, but that is also calculated after 3 factors, fica, ssi, state taxes. so even tho california is one of the first "no fault" states, it is still pretty fair with alimony, etc...especially if the spouse has a disbaility or has no marketable skills, also medical insurance is mandatory for up to 3 years AFTER the divorce. the spouse paying has to pay a company called COBRA, then the spouse recvng the alimony, gets to keep their medical insurance intact for the lenght of time determined by the couple themselves or the judge...but usually no more than 3 years...but like i said, california is one of those states that really DOES favor the spouse getting the alimony...from what i have read anyway...some friends too. so i am not sure what state you are in, but you can google divorce+your state and see what comes up? alot of info online..the only thing that won't come up, is the judges calculator..LOL..not sure how that has not made it online yet...but...anyway..good luck:)
2sunny Posted April 29, 2009 Posted April 29, 2009 you can have an agreement and signatures on it all you want. doesn't mean she'll actually work. you can't force her to work... the courts can acknowledge that she is capable of working and how much she may earn if she works. but, this is very different than the act of working actually happening. she is free to choose to do whatever she wishes... just like you are.
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