ruggy Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 The girl who I broke up with in February, who is still on my mind daily, has a birthday coming up in May. Granted, she broke up with me in a pretty ****ty way, via text. Then two weeks later, apologized via text, and said keep in touch. Would it be wrong to send her a birthday card, but like sign it not as me, but say like a an admirer or something and see if she figures it out? It would have my postal code on it, but no return address. Keeping it like a mystery and see if she figures it out. Maybe it would get her thinking again or something. If she does not pick it up, no loss. Well, except .44 for the postal and .99 for the card. What do you think? And yes, she is still playing the dating game. Not sure why I can't get her out of my mind. Very strange. Have not talked since. Met a few new girls, we do connect, but still cannot get her out of my mind. I would not call her. Not sure if that would be a wise move. But, she might find the card thoughtful and who knows. Suggestions?
Chinook Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 My ex has a birthday coming up in May also. I don't intend sending a card. He dumped me in a pretty crappy way... not once, but twice. The moment he did it the final time, he relinquished any rights to know what was going on with me and for me to make any kind of effort towards him. He walked out of my life severing any bond we had, taking with him my dreams, my future, my hope and my love. I don't really think I need to send a card. But I'm a nice person and I refuse to be bitter and angry. So I will send an email titled "Happy Birthday!" with no message inside it. Simple as that really... although my gut at the moment is telling me not to send anything at all.
Author ruggy Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Yea, pretty similar. Problem is, can get her out of my mind. And, surprisingly, she did not send me a Happy Birthday in March. Guess she really does not care. Or she forgot. Who knows. I find it hard to tell who's genuine these days. Said she had the connection with me, but not burst of fireworks and killed it... In a text no less... Weird that I am still thinking about her.
EmperorR Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 My ex fiance birthday is may 21st also was the day we were supposed to get married, it'll just be another day for me, i'm not sending anything to a cheating skank
Miguelrg Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I'd advise against sending a birthday card, I sent a small book to my ex for her birthday with happy birthday written in it, she sent me a message when she got it sayin thankyou and all it did was set me back emotionally! what good is going to come from sending someone who dropped you from their life a birthday card? Don't give them the satisfaction, if they want to contact you or anythin changes they will contact you, a card won't make her love you again
Ronni_W Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Would it be wrong to send her a birthday card, but like sign it not as me, but say like a an admirer No, it will not be "wrong" -- it just does not seem that it will be a very productive use of YOUR time and energy...and $1.43 In any case, signing it from a 'secret admirer' is kinda kindergarten, no? If it gets her thinking anything, it'll likely be along the lines of, "Who is this childish nutjob, and why has he or she started stalking me?" It is sometimes tough to accept that it's over, and we can entertain our obsessive thoughts about them for a decade. But. That doesn't mean that there is any hope for a reconciliation. Perhaps this link will be useful, in helping you deal with your loss, and moving ahead with your healing and recovery: http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm Sorry you are having a hard time of it. Wishing you better days ahead.
CM2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I'm in a some what similar situation but im married but we're seperated. Not sure if its over or not, but I don't know if I want to send something. Mind you that we're not living together either (she wanted the seperation)
Author ruggy Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 How about a birthday e-mail then? Her birthday is the same as my sisters, she knows (or knew this). So it is pretty easy to remember.
Author ruggy Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 How about a birthday e-mail then? Her birthday is the same as my sisters, she knows (or knew this). So it is pretty easy to remember.
Ronni_W Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Ruggy, The fact that you remember the date has nothing to do with it, and the fact that your sister and your ex happen to share the same month-day(-year?) of birth...even less so. You are looking for an excuse to contact your ex. From what you've posted, 'no contact' is a better general strategy for your healing/recovery efforts. You have freedom of choice to send her whatever type of message you want, whenever you want. It is up to you to assess and be okay with all the potential negative consequences of your actions.
Author ruggy Posted April 26, 2009 Author Posted April 26, 2009 What's the worst that can happen? She does not respond? That could actually be better, as it could help move on faster. Though, it usually take me months, and I mean MONTHS to forget about someone.
SummerLady Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Ruggy, The fact that you remember the date has nothing to do with it, and the fact that your sister and your ex happen to share the same month-day(-year?) of birth...even less so. You are looking for an excuse to contact your ex. From what you've posted, 'no contact' is a better general strategy for your healing/recovery efforts. You have freedom of choice to send her whatever type of message you want, whenever you want. It is up to you to assess and be okay with all the potential negative consequences of your actions. So well said, my ex's B day is coming up and I will not break NC to send him and email or anything else. NC is NC. i don't care if he wins the Nobel Peacr Prize, I am not contacting him, period!!!!!!!!!
BackonTrack2 Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 It won't do you any good. Case #1 - MY EX EX EX EX EX from highschool, we recently got in touch. We started a sexual relationship for about 3 weeks. In that time, she told me she always wondered about me and she never forgot. My birthday was last week, she sent me a Happy Birthday Text, I read it and said to myself "She still remembers, she didn't find anyone yet" Case #2 - My most recent ex, her birthday was yesterday. I didn't text her, even though we broke up on bad terms (she was cheating) then told me to go fawk myself.. I was hurt for about a year. As I was walking home today, I realized she scard me. Anyway I didn't send her a Birthday Message Case #3 - My ex Ex Ex something, I saw her Birthday on FB and wished her Happy Birthday. SHe said Thank You and that was that. All depends, but if she left YOU, chances are she will pitty you if you send a TXT.
SummerLady Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 It won't do you any good. Case #1 - MY EX EX EX EX EX from highschool, we recently got in touch. We started a sexual relationship for about 3 weeks. In that time, she told me she always wondered about me and she never forgot. My birthday was last week, she sent me a Happy Birthday Text, I read it and said to myself "She still remembers, she didn't find anyone yet" Case #2 - My most recent ex, her birthday was yesterday. I didn't text her, even though we broke up on bad terms (she was cheating) then told me to go fawk myself.. I was hurt for about a year. As I was walking home today, I realized she scard me. Anyway I didn't send her a Birthday Message Case #3 - My ex Ex Ex something, I saw her Birthday on FB and wished her Happy Birthday. SHe said Thank You and that was that. All depends, but if she left YOU, chances are she will pitty you if you send a TXT. Are you saying that your ex ex ex ex from highschool that you had a 3 week sexual realtionship emailed you because she did not find anyone else yet? Meaning she was lonely and just wanted to screw with you and wanted a response. Just curious. For me I would not email someone I use to date happy birthday for just the sake of being lonely, but that is me.
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