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Posted

So..last year in September i started talking to one of my closest friends bother online. And then i never really thought i'd end up here.

 

We would talk and flirt a little at first but i'd just laugh at the silly things he'd say because i was certain he couldn't remember me. I'm not your average girl and not what you'd call skinny at all and he's 6'2 and gorgeous so i never in a million years thought he'd want me in any capacity.

 

But anyway we kept talking and i started to fall for him. He'd always talk about meeting up and he was constantly at me always putting me first and being the kind of guy all girls dream exists.

 

Then one day i sent him a photo ...i remember being in tears as it went through because i thought for sure it would be over. But it wasnt. He was even calling me beautiful and actually became more adament about meeting me. So i bit the bullet and we went out. And it was probably the best night of my life being there with him. And we've met up another time since.

 

But now he's saying that he doesn't think he can commit to a relationship with work being the way it is for him since they send him overseas all the time and that he knows that if he got into something with me he'd want to put me first and maybe not go and that it would detriment his career. I felt like i was being stabbed in the heart when he said this to me. I've never been in more pain over a guy in my life. And that night we ended it.

 

But i couldn't take it. I needed him back so i told him that i'd be okay with being with him without being his girlfriend. Because i just love him so much that i can't deal with him not being there. We talk every night and the thought of not getting to do that was killing me.

 

And now i don't know what to do. I don't really feel like there's ever going to be any one i'll ever love after this. He means everything to me and now i just feel like he's pulling away...which is how i've always felt even when he wasnt because I still don't understand why he can be with me for even a second without cringing. I'm not the best looking girl and i know this. So i think the fact that he likes me anyway just makes me love him even more. Not that that's the only reason, the list is probably neverending.

 

But i'm heartbroken everyday that we can't be together and i just don't know what to do anymore.

 

So please any advice you can offer because i just don't think i can take hurting over him any more

Posted

You really have to work on your self esteem to find out why you would be willing to settle for so little from him. Do you notice how he came on really strong in the begininning? Always beware of men who do that. They are the ones most likely toback awy and leave you bewildered. You really have to be careful who you allow in your heart. Always make sure it is someone that wants to be in as musch you you want. You will get through this. Just look for the lesson and work on yourself in the meantime. We really can't love another until we truly love and accept ourselves first.

 

we also have to know that we are worthy and deserving of a good healthy relationship. It won't happen overnight but you will need to get busy.

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