LoveLace Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Things are moving along slowly but surely with my work crush...I think? As I've said, we only see each other once or twice a week; and a busy day leaves even less room for anything to happen. This week I went to work and decided to make it a point to cheerily tell him good morning when I saw him, as opposed to just smiling like a shy school-girl. I did and added "how ya doin!" in there - in passing - (we are in constant motion there, so most things are in passing), he nodded, smiled and said good morning in return...later that day I turned and caught him staring as I laughed and made small talk with another co-worker. I heard him talking with someone once as well...he seems quiet for the most part so the sound of voice made me look at him and he looked up to catch me doing so...and we both did the look-away after that, hehe. He was off yesterday. THIS morning when I saw him, it was HIM that said good morning 1st. It also appeared that when he was around me in bits of pieces through out the day, that he was talking more to others when within my ear-shot...like suddenly he's just more talkative now...at one point he looked lost so as we normally do for the Dr's, I asked if there was something he needed; I proceeded to track down the chart he was looking for...not to seem like I'm little miss go-fetch but it was an excuse to have interaction with him... Every time we pass each other, we look at each other, and nod or smile. Over the last few weeks, he has been undoubtedly been caught checking me out by a co-worker of mine. She said he heard my voice and watched me walk by him. Today, I was trying to put a marker back into it's little slot holder and it kept popping out...he walking by and I said, "Stupid things!"...and he laughed. Then the marker popped out and went flying across the floor in front of him...he picked it up for me and said, "having some trouble?" and we chuckled about it or whatever...then it's back to work, though. even when he stood right in my area for a good 20 minutes I basically pretend he's not there because he's busy documenting and there was also another nurse sitting there. Aside from lack of proper time and place, I also am just not sure what to say...without appearing completely unprofessional. I totally feel like we have some official connection going on and I want him to ask me out, bad. I suddenly can't stop thinking about him! He knows we are the same age and both single, too. I know that I have to let him come to me per say, but how will he know for sure that I even want him to? AND, how would he go about it being at work and all? I'm getting that we are on the same page, where professionalism and interest is concerned, if I see him working or he sees me working, neither of us are going to cross the line of interrupting each other. Very rare and short opportunities present themselves for "chit-chat" or what have you. I don't know what advice I'm really seeking, it's just heavy on my giddy mind. It's common sense that I should continue to smile and be friendly, but the more I feel like he wants to ask me out, the more I wonder if there's a way I can make it happen soon! I've been told that he's for sure single and looking to date. He's not some drop-dead gorgeous thing but he makes me just dying to get to know him better...and I don't really know about anything he's interested in...I've asked him about his job and med school before but that's as much as I know. I wish I knew if he likes the same things I do, like baseball and music? It would be nice to know more before I can judge if it could even be a match or not...thanks for reading because this is long...but I can't stop thinking about us looking at each other all the time...one day I caught him eyeing down my name badge...he MUST be interested...
tkgirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 how sweet! I wish I could find someone to crush on like that... instead of still thinking about my stupid ex or whatever he was... anyways! It sounds like you are BOTH attracted.. I think it's only a matter of time before he asks you out. But if he's shy and you are tired of waiting, here's an idea: Do you ever go out after work with any of your co-workers? Like do a happy hour or something? If not then maybe YOU should plan something like that... maybe find out where a great band is playing and start inviting some of your co-workers/friends... like a casual thing. Then be sure he finds out about it and then ask him if he's going etc. Maybe hanging out outside of work will give you guys some time to really talk and possibly connect too! Good luck! be sure to keep us posted!
Author LoveLace Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 That would be a good idea, tk, in a 9-5, office kind of setting...our day shift is 5:30am - 2pm so happy hours or any kind of social gathering doesn't get planned much, if ever...the nurses gather, the Dr's gather, and the techs gather...so you know, it's all divided up like that. Plus I think his hours are different...comes in later and stays later...so thanks but in the hospital/surgery setting we're in, we just don't have much outside socializing going on...not that I know of, anyway...the nurses throw parties for their 50th birthdays and that's as social as I know of anyone getting around there! Well I work next Saturday, over a week from now, but those are very slow and under-staffed days...the only decent casual conversation I've had with him took place on a Saturday, when hardly anyone else is around. So I'm hoping he'll just work that Saturday too so I can try to strike up some more convo. Till then, don't think I have a choice but to keep it friendly and professional....grrr!
BlueEyedGirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I dunno, but I would be more agressive here. Ask him if would like to grab a drink or a cup of coffee sometime - if he is single and even somewhat interested he will accept. It's not like you two work that closely together so you can easily just ignore him if he says no. I think this is a lot better than building castles in the air. Lot of unrequited love/crush situations can be prevented by some direct communication.
Ariadne Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Hey, That's nothing. You might even end up looking crazy hitting on that guy, he already noticed you said good morning and now is saying it back. If he likes you he'll talk.
BlueEyedGirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Yeah, I also don't see much interest from his side from what you have described. It sounds like you observe every little thing that he does because you have a crush and then you read too much into it. It is very easy to build those things up in your mind (I know from experience!)
Ariadne Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Ups, And I didn't see you told her to ask him for a coffee. Is just that LL tends to chase guys and this guy didn't show a sign of much other than normal interaction.
BlueEyedGirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. I don't see any real evidence that he is interested from what she has written but it is still possible that he is. That's why I think it's better to find out than to continiue obssesing. Imagine if a year later she is still talking about how he said "good morning".
Star Gazer Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I agree with both BEG and Ariadne, if you can believe it! From what you've written, there's no evidence that he's interested. LL - you seem to infer interest from the simplest of human interactions. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you don't think the bagger at the grocery store is interested because he smiles at you each time he asks, "Paper, or plastic?" You're having such a hard time figuring out if a man is interested in you, to the point you end up chasing to find out. TRUST ME, if a man is interested, he will let you know. Particularly a man who has demonstrably been able to let your coworker at one time know that he was interested in her. You're being open enough to his advances. If he's interested in you romantically, he'll find a way to communicate that to you beyond eye contact and polite "How are you?"s. Another thought, LL. This may sound really out there, but hear me out. Consider what this doctor is doing as if he were a female. Given the doctor's behavior, would you think the doctor was just being a nice coworker, or would you think the doctor was gay and sexually attracted to you? If you think it's the latter, THAT is flirting. When we flirt, there's a certain twinkle in the eye, a smirk, some innuendo (if only with the eyes), a certain chemical reaction between the two people.
spookie Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Some guys will let you know. Some won't. Some won't KNOW they're interested until you tell them you are. I don't think this good morning crap is working for you. I think you need to be more straight up, at least in making it clear you want to get to know him. That, or just chill out and wait....
spookie Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Good morning, Spookie. ;) Good morning, Land Shark. Is there something I should know?
Land Shark Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Well... I thought maybe "good morning" would get the point across. Given the context.
BlueEyedGirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Well... I thought maybe "good morning" would get the point across. Given the context. Now you are being mean
BlueEyedGirl Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Consider what this doctor is doing as if he were a female. Given the doctor's behavior, would you think the doctor was just being a nice coworker, or would you think the doctor was gay and sexually attracted to you? If you think it's the latter, THAT is flirting. When we flirt, there's a certain twinkle in the eye, a smirk, some innuendo (if only with the eyes), a certain chemical reaction between the two people. I was actually going to say that exactly. That's a good way to know if you are blowing everything out of proportion. I also want to add that even if someone is flirting with you, you don't know if they are doing it just for fun or if they actually want something to happen. Flirting does not always equal romantic interest.
Land Shark Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Now you are being mean Not on purpose. I wasn't mocking anyone, if that's what you think. Just trying to pay Spookie a compliment because she deserves it. Maybe others here do, too.
Author LoveLace Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. I don't see any real evidence that he is interested from what she has written but it is still possible that he is. That's why I think it's better to find out than to continiue obssesing. Imagine if a year later she is still talking about how he said "good morning". I started to think he might be interested when a)a co-worker has caught him checking me out, majorly, more than once and b) I catch him staring at me all the time. c)he talks to me more...but most of all, it's what other a couple of other co-workers have observed...one girl said he stopped what he was doing to watch me walk by, then when he knew he was busted doing so by her, she said he looked like a deer in headlights...maybe he's not thinkin about me as much I've been thinkin about him, but I'm pretty sure if it was me that had the nerve and the opportunity to ask him out, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't say no. I just don't want to be the one to do it, really. If it was a female doctore that stared at me and checked me out, that would be creepy, since I'm not a lesbian. LOL it's not that I think "good morning" means he likes me....it was the fact he initiated it instead of me, that time. The fact that he's gone from totally quiet to being way more vocal when I'm around...it's all been baby steps like that because like I said, I only see him once or twice a week and there's always a lot of other people around. But if I didn't catch him looking at me a lot, etc, the above alone wouldn't make me think he's definitely interested. It's a simple solution really, I just have to be patient given the circumstances. It isn't like it's a guy that I see at a bar in which case I'd be stupid not to just go up to him and start some casual conversation. Because of where we work, I just have to wait an appropriate time and place to be more chatty and hopefully get the point across that I'm interested in getting to know him better. By the way SG, the co-worker of mine he dated once...SHE asked him out. Had someone pass him a note or something, which apparently he wasn't very impressed by, but he called her anyway. But she had a damn boyfriend, so everytime he tried to call, she acted funny or had to hang up fast. Supposedly, it really hacked him off and he was clear that he doesn't play those games. She knows what's going on and she's always trying to make me jealous and make it seem like they are great buddies...the co-worker observed that if she talks to him, he acts kind of rude and doesn't appear to want anything to do with her. It actually impresses me because it tells me he's more mature than she is.
Author LoveLace Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 I agree with both BEG and Ariadne, if you can believe it! From what you've written, there's no evidence that he's interested. LL - you seem to infer interest from the simplest of human interactions. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you don't think the bagger at the grocery store is interested because he smiles at you each time he asks, "Paper, or plastic?" Oh sure. I only wish I thought of myself as THAT hot. When I'm out with friends, all I do is complain like a baby about how no one's looking at me or appears interested in me. According to them, clear signals of interest seem to go right over my head. I don't see what they see. But whatever. But if I'm told about a guy checking me out, over and over, like the Dr. has supposedly been doing, it's hard for me to miss that one... You're having such a hard time figuring out if a man is interested in you, to the point you end up chasing to find out. TRUST ME, if a man is interested, he will let you know. Particularly a man who has demonstrably been able to let your coworker at one time know that he was interested in her. You're being open enough to his advances. If he's interested in you romantically, he'll find a way to communicate that to you beyond eye contact and polite "How are you?"s. He already has. One day, I pretended not to notice him at all costs, even if standing right next to me, I kept busy, etc...next thing I know he's standing right in front of me, staring at me and at my name badge, I looked up then he looked up as if caught, and suddenly started laughing and telling me something funny...it was definitely random and new, out of the ordinary from the small talk we've been making. There was plenty other people around he could have joked with, but he was looking right into my eyes. After that I sensed a bit of nervousness on his part, then I got nervous too and just went back to what I was doing. Another thought, LL. This may sound really out there, but hear me out. Consider what this doctor is doing as if he were a female. Given the doctor's behavior, would you think the doctor was just being a nice coworker, or would you think the doctor was gay and sexually attracted to you? If you think it's the latter, THAT is flirting. When we flirt, there's a certain twinkle in the eye, a smirk, some innuendo (if only with the eyes), a certain chemical reaction between the two people. Yes if I saw a female doctor staring at me the way I've caught him doing, I would have to think she was gay. I've turned around only to catch him resting his chin on his fist, looking dead at me, then he pulls the look-away and I do, too. The Dr's that run around there, are usually in their own little worlds and make no eye contact or friendly gestures what so ever. So if he were a woman, I would absolutely think this chick just might dig me.
refurb Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 He was off yesterday. THIS morning when I saw him, it was HIM that said good morning 1st. You are WAY over analyzing things. RF
Kamille Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I love have crushes! Glad you have one, so entertaining! And here comes the but: but, the only thing you can do at this point is enjoy finding a guy at work cute. Keep flirting, keep having fun, but don't assume or hope for strong interest on his part until he actually does something. Until he does, he's just a hottie at work you like to flirt with. Make sense?
Isolde Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 I feel the best thing you can do is relax. Let him have the crush for once... turn the tables on him subtly!
BlueEyedGirl Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 While having a crush can be excting, I am worried that it could possibly develop in an obssesion like me and the boss and that's why I tend to be wary in situations like this. I would really hate for another person to go through what I am going through.
spookie Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 While having a crush can be excting, I am worried that it could possibly develop in an obssesion like me and the boss and that's why I tend to be wary in situations like this. I would really hate for another person to go through what I am going through. I'm with BEG. Your overanalysis is starting to sound suspicisuly similar to ours. This is not a good road to go down.
Author LoveLace Posted April 26, 2009 Author Posted April 26, 2009 I love have crushes! Glad you have one, so entertaining! And here comes the but: but, the only thing you can do at this point is enjoy finding a guy at work cute. Keep flirting, keep having fun, but don't assume or hope for strong interest on his part until he actually does something. Until he does, he's just a hottie at work you like to flirt with. Make sense? YEP! And I love it! Every minute of it. I have moments of feeling ancy and anxious about the whole thing, particurlarly on days I see him (like the day I posted this one)..but in the mean time, it's just like yea, I have eye candy at work and even better I'm eye candy for him too, apparently! It's nice to have motivation for going to work when you have to be there at 5:30am for chris sakes. I actually quite enjoy the very gradual progress in our noticing each other, and enjoy the idea that I have to let nature take its course because being at work keeps me from doing something that looks stupid and desperate. I'm forced to keep it on the down low and professional as possible, yet try to get some interest across. I only work there for about 8 more months, so if anything happens btween now and then, cool. If not, well thank you Dr. for giving me a reason to jump out of bed at 4:30 am!! It also just sord of keeps me going and keeps recent heart break off my noggin. So if I appear to analyze too much, it's likely because it's just better than thinking about the guy who made me miserable.It's way more fun, thats for sure!
Ariadne Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Hey LL, What happened with Dan? And also, this guy may like you or may start liking you, but try and hold your horses before you throw yourself at him. I agree is good to have a motivation at work, it makes things exciting.
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