RecordProducer Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I am trying to establish something, but I can't. You met this guy on the internet and you've never seen him in real life? And he suggests you have a first date in a park at night? If this is the case, it's creepy and I'd write him off. But if the park is filled with people at that time of night, maybe he's just broke. In any case, I associate park with making out on the bench - he can't do that in a sushi restaurant.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 I am trying to establish something, but I can't. You met this guy on the internet and you've never seen him in real life? And he suggests you have a first date in a park at night? If this is the case, it's creepy and I'd write him off. But if the park is filled with people at that time of night, maybe he's just broke. In any case, I associate park with making out on the bench - he can't do that in a sushi restaurant. no RP, see the thing was I thought we could have a good time at dinner because we can be civilized in restaurant. I have no idea why he brought up the park... and honestly I don't really care anymore. I actually find talking to him pisses me off more than usual. And to the rest of the posters who thought he preferred his art over me, apparently he decided that a party would have been better than dinner with me.
MissConduct Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 xpapercut first of all you are absolutely stunning I love that picture of you in red with the glasses super cute! Look I read your entire thread and to be honest with you I would not have given half the posts on here a second read let alone respond to them. You did nothing wrong other than picking a guy that needs to be hit over the head with an anvil to get him to realize you are interested in him. So, he is either not interested or he is luke warm and is following your lead (which is my guess) or he is too stupid to realize that you are interested in him. If you think he is worth it put out another sign next time around. In retrospect, you did nothing wrong in mentioning you were going for sushi other than the fact that he may have interpreted that as you already had plans with someone else since typically people go out to dinner with other people. So you could have just come right out and asked him to meet you, OR you could have just said "I am thinking of coming out to Manhattan tonight what are you up to"? If I were you I would put out one more "sign" and then if he still doesn't act on it, move on no point wasting time on a guy who is just "luke warm" about you. No guy is that stupid if he is truly interested he will go out of his way to make it happen. I can understand that when creativity is flowing you don't want to interrupt it but he could make a plan for another time if he really wanted to see you.
MissConduct Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 And to the rest of the posters who thought he preferred his art over me, apparently he decided that a party would have been better than dinner with me. Oops just read this. Move on don't waste another minute on him. You are too gorgeous to be wasting your time with a starving finger painter.
Zeta4PhiSius Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Wow how many times do I have to say I already made myself clear?!!!!!!!! I get bashed for calling men dense, and now I'm getting bashed for being high maintenance and difficult. I mean what am I supposed to do? God doesnt it say something that my friday is already ruined? I might as well just apologize for even developing crushes in the beginning. Next time I might as well not even act on my feelings or ask anyone out. Now there's one less woman to actually want to date you silly men. xpaperxcutx - I read the first post, and a few posts after that and that's when I commented rather than reading through the whole thread. You're certainly not high maintenance to me as far as I can see here - at least not what I would consider high maintenance. For me, it's already difficult as far as dating is concerned. Women are not direct - I'm supposed to pick up on hints that I have no clue about...etc. That's why I've quit for the time being. Frustration after frustration. And then I learn that a lady at work was doing things like you're doing and I had NO IDEA she was "flirting" or "being coy" at the time now that I think about it. She was saying "I really want to go see "title of movie here" flirtatiously directly to me rather than "I want to go to a movie with you" and I had NO IDEA what she meant at the time. It's just a very sore/sensitive spot for me right now as far as dating is concerned (considering the epic fail that this past year has been for me) and I apologize for coming off so harsh.
MindoverMatter Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 There were some mistakes in the whole ordeal. 1. He told you he had plans (working on his paintings) when you dropped the hint that you wanted to be asked out that night and where you wanted to be taken (sushi). He didn't have to invite you. Even if his painting would have been the only thing that was on his agenda that night, it would have been okay to not ask you out. Your strong hints might have put him off, especially when he considers himself a serious artist. 2. When you asked him out, that was the good move. Because he still can change plans, but he shouldn't be expected to do so just because you drop a hint. When he declined because of other plans that was okay, and he offered a different kind of date (the park), which was also good. 3. You declined the park and didn't offer another alternative. So, for him the message could be: you wanted sushi, he didn't give you what you wanted so now you're not going on any date that doesn't suit your taste completely. If you're really into the guy, offer a day when you'll be free and let him surprise you. If he choses the park again: next. If he makes sure you both have a good time, take it from there. If you're just curious about him, drop it. It's already getting complicated and wouldn't be worth the trouble for a lukewarm thing.
MissConduct Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Your strong hints might have put him off, especially when he considers himself a serious artist. Strong hints? Are you for real? "I am going to Manhattan for Sushi" is coming on too strong? I think some of you guys just want to pick on OP for no reason at all, you didn't like her subject line and are totally nitpicking now.. Yeah such a "serious artist"... so serious about it he decided to go out to a party that night instead. Oh he's an artist alright, "con artist" comes to mind. Whatever, he's a loser. She read him right.
MindoverMatter Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 She said she wanted to go to his area on an evening he had planned otherwise and that she would love to get some sushi. A while after this she asked him out (which usually is good!), but this told him that she expected him to get the hint before. But he had told her that he was busy, so yes...the sushi thing wasn't handeled very well. I skipped the part where she said he was going to a party...so yeah, that's lame, but still previous engagement.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 26, 2009 Author Posted April 26, 2009 To update on artist guy, I decided to give him one more chance to redeem himself. So I send him an email with my number to let him know that he can call me if he was free today. Unfortunately he never gave me a single peep or even called to say hello. I officially decided that since he doesn't want to put in any effort, I wasn't going to talk to him anymore. Even one of my best friends told me that a guy like that wasn't worth my wait. I mean, he would call if he was interested right? Exactly.
MindoverMatter Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 I officially decided that since he doesn't want to put in any effort, I wasn't going to talk to him anymore. Even one of my best friends told me that a guy like that wasn't worth my wait. I mean, he would call if he was interested right? Exactly. Exactly. Too stressful, too soon. Next.
Trimmer Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 To update on artist guy, I decided to give him one more chance to redeem himself. So I send him an email with my number to let him know that he can call me if he was free today. Unfortunately he never gave me a single peep or even called to say hello. I officially decided that since he doesn't want to put in any effort, I wasn't going to talk to him anymore. Even one of my best friends told me that a guy like that wasn't worth my wait. I mean, he would call if he was interested right? Exactly. So in the end, is he dense, or just not interested? Or does being not interested make him dense?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 26, 2009 Author Posted April 26, 2009 So in the end, is he dense, or just not interested? Or does being not interested make him dense? That's a good question Trimmer and my response is that he was dense when he couldn't get the little hint I had mentioned about the dinner. I don't know whether he was really interested or not, but when I had spoken to him the other night, he made mentioned that he thought it would have been a good idea if he hadn't turned me down. He said it would have been fun had he taken me up on my offer. I haven't talked to him directly as of yet, and what little words we had exchanged were very brief and short. I did mention that I gave him my number yesterday for him to call me just to say, and I had made sure that my phone had enough battery and reception lest he called. I hadn't heard from him all day and night, so I thought he wasn't interested, and made plans to go out with friends. He tried to talk to me over Aim, but I came home really late last night and couldn't send him a response. He kept making it a point for me to meet him at the park on sunday the other night, when he had gotten back from his party, tipsy. When I asked him why, he said " well we can also hang out on my balcony". I questioned him on his views about me and whether he had thought I was someone who was slutty or easy. He said he didn't see me as slutty and that he didn't cared if I was easy. He made an emphasis that he just wanted to be with someone fun and challenging. I didn't quite understood what he meant by fun and challenging , and I still don't know. Maybe my definition is different from his, but I can't help but question maybe he's just looking for a random girl to fill his time. He doesn't make an effort to see me unless he was actually free, such as when he made mention that I should have met him yesterday afternoon when he said he had free time. I had already made plans for the day, and I didn't see the need to back out on my best friend, for someone's free afternoon.
MissConduct Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 He kept making it a point for me to meet him at the park on sunday the other night, when he had gotten back from his party, tipsy. When I asked him why, he said " well we can also hang out on my balcony". I questioned him on his views about me and whether he had thought I was someone who was slutty or easy. He said he didn't see me as slutty and that he didn't cared if I was easy. He made an emphasis that he just wanted to be with someone fun and challenging. Sounds like he is pulling your leg especially with the last part about not caring if you are easy and then saying he is looking for someone fun and challenging. I would cut him off completely if I were you he sounds like a total jerk-off it seems like you are doing all the work and that is his way of telling you he doesn't want that.
kizik Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 I think if the OP had more going on in her life (hobbies, interests, etc.) she wouldn't be so concerned over some mysterious internet man. Women, you hold all the cards in this poker game called dating. So stop showing your "ace" and realize you're the queen.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 26, 2009 Author Posted April 26, 2009 I think if the OP had more going on in her life (hobbies, interests, etc.) she wouldn't be so concerned over some mysterious internet man. Women, you hold all the cards in this poker game called dating. So stop showing your "ace" and realize you're the queen. haha kizik, thanks for the confidence vote. I don't know if I should start a new thread, but I'm in a hurry so I'll just write it here. I am actually getting ready to meet artist guy in manhattan, and my stomach is in knots. He called me today and wished me a good sunday, and made mention of what a nice day out it was. Then he popped the question ( it wasn't what you think) and asked me to go and enjoy the day with. I had woken, tired and sore from a late night of partying, and I had just wanted to do my laundry, but since most of you, especially Die_ hard, gave me a harsh lecture on canceling his park date, I decided to meet him tonight and visit E. Village. Now does that make me impulsive? Not really, because I had told him no the first time he called ( yes, he called me), but then I decided well since I'm making such a huge fuss over a guy I never met, I might as just see what he actually looks like in person. I won't call this a date, because that would mean I was putting too much expectation into things. I'll call this a casual meeting between two strangers and see where it will lead. In a way, I am confident that I'll be able to wow him with my personality, and he'll see me from a new perspective. But now I'm just worried about what I'll wear. You know girls are so picky with fashion. I tried on so many clothes from my closet, and I'm undecided between wearing a black skirt with floral tshirt under a black sleeveless overtop, or should i go really casual with with jeans and tshirt? Should I wear sneakers? heels? Hahaha, it's really hard being me.
carhill Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Manhattan at night? Dress up. You never know who you might run into If you have comfortable heels, wear them. My Asian BFF always looked hot in black with a splash of color and shiny accessories. Don't forget the accessories Bring a cover but show some skin, tastefully of course. Good luck!
kizik Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Manhattan at night? Dress up. You never know who you might run into If you have comfortable heels, wear them. My Asian BFF always looked hot in black with a splash of color and shiny accessories. Don't forget the accessories Bring a cover but show some skin, tastefully of course. Good luck! Carhill, you are perhaps the gayest straight man I know, and I love it.
carhill Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Curse of my existence. The right woman will absolutely love growing old with me though.
BubblyPopcorn Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I would not meet someone for the first time in a park, that's weird!
Die Hard Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 haha kizik, thanks for the confidence vote. I don't know if I should start a new thread, but I'm in a hurry so I'll just write it here. I am actually getting ready to meet artist guy in manhattan, and my stomach is in knots. He called me today and wished me a good sunday, and made mention of what a nice day out it was. Then he popped the question ( it wasn't what you think) and asked me to go and enjoy the day with. I had woken, tired and sore from a late night of partying, and I had just wanted to do my laundry, but since most of you, especially Die_ hard, gave me a harsh lecture on canceling his park date, I decided to meet him tonight and visit E. Village.You're a cool chick and if it doesn't work out it with this guy it won't be because you are not good dating material. You've been patient, understanding and willing to meet this guy halfway by putting yourself out there. I'm not speaking for all guys, but this one likes your style. I hope this dude deserves your efforts.
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 I would not meet someone for the first time in a park, that's weird!She made reference to Central Park, which can be dangerous at night and strange, during the day. I'm guessing she's in NY.
carhill Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Well, it's 12:30am in the Big Apple so either he ate her or he ate her and she ain't nowhere near a computer
Die Hard Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 It's funny, but I feel somewhat invested in this date. At this time of night, I don't really care whether it goes well or not, I just hope to god this guy isn't some nut and she comes back and let's us know how it went. Hopefully she's just out late having fun.
MissConduct Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Well, it's 12:30am in the Big Apple... ...which means the night has just begun. I wouldn't wait up.
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