Die Hard Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 You know the funny thing is everyone jumped you for calling this guy dense but I think he very well might be. Asking a chick to a park for a first date is dense. Most men would never put a woman in that kind of position. A position where she has to weigh her safety vs. having a date. A first date is hard enough without the woman questioning her safety.
The Collector Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Park at night = scary and weird. Park during the day = depends on the park but come on.
Die Hard Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Park at night = scary and weird. Park during the day = depends on the park but come on.I know, it just doesn't seem right if you ask me. Doubt he's a psycho, but he must have some kind of issues. Just as an example I went on a first date with a woman to a park but she asked me, and she was married so the lack of cameras and crowds made sense. Unfortunately, I went. Maybe I now have a park bias and shouldn't be listened to on that topic. Like you say though....depends on the park but come on....
crosswordfiend Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Park at night = scary and weird. Park during the day = depends on the park but come on. Park during the day = free date. Last minute sushi = must reach for wallet.
carhill Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Sorry carhill sometimes you just really confuse me. What crow? "Eating crow" is an old euphemism for eating one's words. When I make an assertion and you prove me wrong, I lose face and eat those words, or "crow". Or, as written in Wikipedia: Eating crow (archaically, eatin boiled crow) is an English idiom meaning humiliation by admitting wrongness or having been proven wrong after taking a strong position. So, with the weekend in front of us, I'm looking forward to some crow
CommitmentPhobe Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I've had the "why are men so dense" line wheeled out right in front of my face before when I didn't pick up a cue that someone was asking me out Put me right off I can tell you....
Land Shark Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I'm talking to artist guy right now online, and he's spending friday home working on his commissioned paintings. I brought up the fact that I want to head out to Manhattan this evening and probably enjoy a sushi meal. His response? " Nice". Do I have to spell it out for him? He wanted to go out on a date with me, and the opportunity just presented itself. But he's not making a move to ask to come with me. I thought men like coyness, and I'm trying to be flirty. But he's not even making a point to meet up with me. I get the impression that this is a guy you want to meet up with. You should send him a signal of some kind.
windows Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 He's just shy or uninterested thats all. cut him some slack. if he's anything like me then be straightforward and hit or miss. either way his minds already made up.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 I've had the "why are men so dense" line wheeled out right in front of my face before when I didn't pick up a cue that someone was asking me out Put me right off I can tell you.... I wasn't trying to put him off. I'm just saying i tried to make it coy in asking him out, but it backfired. I get the impression that this is a guy you want to meet up with. You should send him a signal of some kind. You did not even read the thread did you? He's just shy or uninterested thats all. cut him some slack. if he's anything like me then be straightforward and hit or miss. either way his minds already made up. I was straightforward afterwards. he didn't bite. what was i supposed to do?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 I know, it just doesn't seem right if you ask me. Doubt he's a psycho, but he must have some kind of issues. Just as an example I went on a first date with a woman to a park but she asked me, and she was married so the lack of cameras and crowds made sense. Unfortunately, I went. Maybe I now have a park bias and shouldn't be listened to on that topic. Like you say though....depends on the park but come on.... I think he mentioned central park? And I think he had meant a day date... "Eating crow" is an old euphemism for eating one's words. When I make an assertion and you prove me wrong, I lose face and eat those words, or "crow". Or, as written in Wikipedia: So, with the weekend in front of us, I'm looking forward to some crow Actually Carhill, I was choking on my own words earlier.
lazyhappylucky Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I'm talking to artist guy right now online, and he's spending friday home working on his commissioned paintings. I brought up the fact that I want to head out to Manhattan this evening and probably enjoy a sushi meal. His response? " Nice". Do I have to spell it out for him? He wanted to go out on a date with me, and the opportunity just presented itself. But he's not making a move to ask to come with me. I thought men like coyness, and I'm trying to be flirty. But he's not even making a point to meet up with me. i think that particular guy is dense. I actually posted a thread with the exact same heading and I was pretty much like attacked, lol
Die Hard Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I think he mentioned central park? And I think he had meant a day date... Jesus christ why do you keep slowly bleeding this info out? Central Park during the day? Yeah imo you should have said yes. When we said it depends on the park, Central Park was kinda on the approved list. I thought you meant some random park. Now I'm back to the fact that you said no, and that sent all kinds of signals you may not have wanted to send. If you like this guy it's gonna take a little more work now. Like I said earlier you're going to have to decide if this guy is worth the time, but I see no reason why yu won't egt a date out of this guy if that's what you really want.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 i think that particular guy is dense. I actually posted a thread with the exact same heading and I was pretty much like attacked, lol Oh? yeah some of the posts were harsh but I don't really let them get to me. So what exactly happen to your guy?
Jaytb Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 actually OP, men are dense. Just so you know. On the other hand, I can say women are too subtle. Depends on your frame of reference, like special relativity. For instance, my girlfriend is always so subtle. Even in everyday things, like when I'm visiting her she would point at things and expect me to get them for her. Now, at first, I was really confused. Now I'm a little better but I sometimes I act dumbfounded when she does this. I told her a while ago to please tell me in words if she wants me to get something for her. Being clear will go a lot further. I guess some men can pick up on hints better than others, but not all. Just something to keep in mind.
Die Hard Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Okay now I'm going to be harsh: this dude asked you out on a date to central park during the day and you said no. You then "mentioned" that you were going for sushi, and HE'S dense for not picking up on that and inviting himself along....AFTER you already said no to CP? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't be surprised if he's done. You seem very high maintenance at a very early stage in the dating process....before it ever even began actually!!
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Okay now I'm going to be harsh: this dude asked you out on a date to central park during the day and you said no. You then "mentioned" that you were going for sushi, and HE'S dense for not picking up on that and inviting himself along....AFTER you already said no to CP? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't be surprised if he's done. You seem very high maintenance at a very early stage in the dating process....before it ever even began actually!! He was already dense before he asked me. And he didn't even said it was a date. He asked " So if you're free Sunday, give me a call and we can go hang out at the park". I am not high maintenance I just feel like he's squeezing me into his schedule, because he was free that day. I don't think I did anything wrong rejecting him on it.
Trialbyfire Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I would have turned down the park idea too, unless it's to the zoo. I can't resist a good zoo and they're more public than walking down some trail. Sounds like you want someone to woo you. Stick to letting the guy pursue.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 I would have turned down the park idea too, unless it's to the zoo. I can't resist a good zoo and they're more public than walking down some trail. Sounds like you want someone to woo you. Stick to letting the guy pursue. Exactly TBF. That's why I said I never asked a guy out before. It was always the guy asking me out, I mean even if I put myself out there to ask them out, this kind of thing happen.
Die Hard Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Screw the wooing...you need a mind reader I guess if asking guys is out of your comfort zone then you shouldn't do it. Then again, while leaving your comfort zone carries risks, it also can deliver great rewards. When you said no to the Park I hope you at least suggested another place/time etc.. because where I come from asking you out is seen as wooing, and at that point it was on you to move things along if central park was an issue, imo.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Screw the wooing...you need a mind reader I guess if asking guys is out of your comfort zone then you shouldn't do it. Then again, while leaving your comfort zone carries risks, it also can deliver great rewards. When you said no to the Park I hope you at least suggested another place/time etc.. because where I come from asking you out is seen as wooing, and at that point it was on you to move things along if central park was an issue, imo. I don't need a mind reader, I know I have to work on my communication skills. I don't know why I didn't aske a different time and palace, I just didn't know how to reply to him. I asked him out to dinner, and he asked me out to the park. Do you honestly not see anything wrong with that? He is older than me. Is it because of my age? I normally go to the park with a friend, not a date. I go to the park to jog, not to walk around and converse. Maybe other people like these kind of outings, but I'm just not keen to them, unless I know it's nothing but just a hangout. I felt like him asking thus, made me feel like a kid. When I was a kid, my parents take me to the park. So if I go, would it feel like a brother taking a little sister out?
moman Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 In defense of the guy, you don't know why he wanted to paint. Maybe he has a timeline to have it done and needs to work on Friday night. Maybe he's just so stressed from work he wants nothing but to sit at home and paint. Maybe he's been meaning to do it for so long he started on Friday night and then a girl suggested sushi and he was in the paint zone and blew her off. I'm not one for much last minute things either. Especially sushi Maybe you're also not a priority. who knows
Zeta4PhiSius Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I'm talking to artist guy right now online, and he's spending friday home working on his commissioned paintings. I brought up the fact that I want to head out to Manhattan this evening and probably enjoy a sushi meal. His response? " Nice". Do I have to spell it out for him? He wanted to go out on a date with me, and the opportunity just presented itself. But he's not making a move to ask to come with me. I thought men like coyness, and I'm trying to be flirty. But he's not even making a point to meet up with me. Yes, you HAVE to spell it out. I hate games. I hate "hints". He probably feels the same way. He probably just thought you planned on going with friends or something, and may have had no idea that you would go out with him unless you actually said so. If you want the guy to take you out, say so. Say "I want to go out for a Sushi Meal with you." We're not psychics. We don't fill in the blanks or pick up on stupid hints. Say what you mean without these dumb games. If you hate him, say "I don't want to see you again" rather than ignore him and hope he gets the "hint". If you want him to go away, say "Go away." I'm tired and frustrated with these dumb "hints" that women think we're supposed to pick up on and they get surprised when we don't when they mean something ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than what they actually said or did. WE ARE NOT PSYCHICS. Get over it and be direct. That is all. *steps off soapbox and gets ready for the flames to begin*
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Yes, you HAVE to spell it out. I hate games. I hate "hints". He probably feels the same way. He probably just thought you planned on going with friends or something, and may have had no idea that you would go out with him unless you actually said so. If you want the guy to take you out, say so. Say "I want to go out for a Sushi Meal with you." We're not psychics. We don't fill in the blanks or pick up on stupid hints. Say what you mean without these dumb games. If you hate him, say "I don't want to see you again" rather than ignore him and hope he gets the "hint". If you want him to go away, say "Go away." I'm tired and frustrated with these dumb "hints" that women think we're supposed to pick up on and they get surprised when we don't when they mean something ENTIRELY DIFFERENT than what they actually said or did. WE ARE NOT PSYCHICS. Get over it and be direct. That is all. *steps off soapbox and gets ready for the flames to begin* Wow how many times do I have to say I already made myself clear?!!!!!!!! I get bashed for calling men dense, and now I'm getting bashed for being high maintenance and difficult. I mean what am I supposed to do? God doesnt it say something that my friday is already ruined? I might as well just apologize for even developing crushes in the beginning. Next time I might as well not even act on my feelings or ask anyone out. Now there's one less woman to actually want to date you silly men.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 In defense of the guy, you don't know why he wanted to paint. Maybe he has a timeline to have it done and needs to work on Friday night. Maybe he's just so stressed from work he wants nothing but to sit at home and paint. Maybe he's been meaning to do it for so long he started on Friday night and then a girl suggested sushi and he was in the paint zone and blew her off. I'm not one for much last minute things either. Especially sushi Maybe you're also not a priority. who knows You make it sound like I want to drain him dry or something. It's dinner, unless you don't have the stomach for raw seafood.
Trialbyfire Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Exactly TBF. That's why I said I never asked a guy out before. It was always the guy asking me out, I mean even if I put myself out there to ask them out, this kind of thing happen. You decide on how a guy should treat you. Then see if whomever asks you out, fits the bill. If he doesn't, then deep-six him.
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