Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Alright diehard I get your point. Maybe I didn't really see it from that point of view. I'll aks him then And i just made a complete fool out of myself. Picasso wasn't the only thing on his mind, since he made plans already. Wow....
Surfer Dude Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Just forget the online thing (that's for antisocial people anyway) and go meet quality men in RL. If your previous avatars are really you, I think that a stunning Asian girl like you shouldn't have any problems meeting decent men. Now that I think of it, if I lived in America, I'd take you out for some mindblowing sushi that literally melts in your mouth haha.. you usually have beer or green tea with that? Anyhow, I heard that sushi in Japan is totally different from sushi in America.
Trialbyfire Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Okay, now I'm confused. Did you not accept his Sunday invite?
Die Hard Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Alright diehard I get your point. Maybe I didn't really see it from that point of view. I'll aks him thenMy opinion is that he is probably interested but didn't feel like that was enough of a hint to risk putting himself out there. Being a guy I understand this. I'd have thought "well, if she wanted me to go with her she'd have asked" and even if she did want me to go but didn't ask, then there are all kinds of possible reasons for this but, again, none of them are worth putting myself out there and risking a misunderstanding. Maybe you were just rambling and mentioned you were going to eat, etc.. I think the guys saying he prefers his paintings are just yanking your chain because of the dense comment. Ask him out and see what kind of man you are dealing with.
Die Hard Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Yeah I'm confused too now...did he make the plans before you asked him or what?
The Collector Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I think the guys saying he prefers his paintings are just yanking your chain because of the dense comment. I'm an artist. Sometimes I have a deadline, sometimes I'm more into my work than going out.
Die Hard Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I'm an artist. Sometimes I have a deadline, sometimes I'm more into my work than going out.Well like I said ask him out and see what kind of man he is. If he has a deadline that's one thing, but to prefer staying home and painting rather than taking up a woman on her offer of a date is something else, imo. The painting isn't going anywhere but the woman will.
The Collector Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 The painting isn't going anywhere but the woman will. Ironically, if you're the type of guy that puts something creative - or often anything else - above a woman, she probably won't go anywhere. In fact her interest will often raise. Is paperxcutx more or less keen now?
Die Hard Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Just for the record, my advice applies regardless of how things go with this particular guy. You cannot expect a guy to invite himself to dinner with you. It's not realistic to me. Just for starters I'm terrible at picking up signals. A lot of guys are and this was a very weak signal which has almost no hope of working. And there is no reason to feel like a fool for asking him out and not getting the response you were looking for. Any chick that asks a guy out is okay in my book and has metaphoric balls. There is something sexy about a woman who does the asking, imo. Just because it doesn't work with this guy doesn't mean it's bad to do the asking or that you are a fool in any way.
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Hey if I was slaving away in the shop and a nice young lady brought by some take-out, she'd get my attention Next time, OP, try the "hinting" via aural communication methods. A woman's voice can be very persuasive
Die Hard Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Ironically, if you're the type of guy that puts something creative - or often anything else - above a woman, she probably won't go anywhere. In fact her interest will often raise. Is paperxcutx more or less keen now?Yeah she's keen, if you call getting on the internet and calling him dense keen. It doesn't sound to me like they have anywhere near enough involvement yet for that to work. It's a little early to be the brooding, hard to get painter, imo. Just my opinion but in my experience you have a better shot with women if you interact with them rather than staying home. If he wants her, he should make an effort, not play games like staying home to paint so she'll get more interested. Make her more interested with your interesting personality and a great date. IMO, you get much farther, much quicker that way. And maybe he's NOT interested, but simply telling him you're going out to eat won't help you find out.
St. Nick Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Sorry carhill, Die Hard is correct. She shouldn't hint about anything. She should just come out and say it.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Okay, now I'm confused. Did you not accept his Sunday invite? He said he wanted to meet me at the park, but I turned him down. I was a bit confused why he decided to choose the park as a date area? My opinion is that he is probably interested but didn't feel like that was enough of a hint to risk putting himself out there. Being a guy I understand this. I'd have thought "well, if she wanted me to go with her she'd have asked" and even if she did want me to go but didn't ask, then there are all kinds of possible reasons for this but, again, none of them are worth putting myself out there and risking a misunderstanding. Maybe you were just rambling and mentioned you were going to eat, etc.. I think the guys saying he prefers his paintings are just yanking your chain because of the dense comment. Ask him out and see what kind of man you are dealing with. Die hard, he was interested, he made it seem like a quest to date me. He flirted with me about so many days, and we had laughs over the fact we can teach each other our languages. Yeah I'm confused too now...did he make the plans before you asked him or what? I dont know. He made it seem like he had to spend the entire friday evening painting, because he mentioned he had about 30 something layers for his to do. So I'm uncertain if he actually meant he made plans or he just made it up on the spot.
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Sorry carhill, Die Hard is correct. She shouldn't hint about anything. She should just come out and say it. I disagree. Part of the mating dance is how a woman expresses interest without being forward about it. Her body language, tone of voice, method of eye contact are all part of it. None of that can be conveyed over MSN Essentially what the OP did is what I and my BFF used to do for years. She'd ring me and go, hey, I'm going out to XXX, wanna go? If I wasn't busy, yeah, sure. There were no expectations. We were great friends. That's not romance. I'll go further and suggest that it will be fruitless for her to ask him out directly. OP, do so and return to implore me to eat crow, raw of course
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Just forget the online thing (that's for antisocial people anyway) and go meet quality men in RL. If your previous avatars are really you, I think that a stunning Asian girl like you shouldn't have any problems meeting decent men. Now that I think of it, if I lived in America, I'd take you out for some mindblowing sushi that literally melts in your mouth haha.. you usually have beer or green tea with that? Anyhow, I heard that sushi in Japan is totally different from sushi in America. haha, thank you surfer dude, your compliments are much appreciated.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 I'm an artist. Sometimes I have a deadline, sometimes I'm more into my work than going out. So you're like the starving artist aren't you? you rather starve than abandon your art?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 I disagree. Part of the mating dance is how a woman expresses interest without being forward about it. Her body language, tone of voice, method of eye contact are all part of it. None of that can be conveyed over MSN Essentially what the OP did is what I and my BFF used to do for years. She'd ring me and go, hey, I'm going out to XXX, wanna go? If I wasn't busy, yeah, sure. There were no expectations. We were great friends. That's not romance. I'll go further and suggest that it will be fruitless for her to ask him out directly. OP, do so and return to implore me to eat crow, raw of course So carhill are you saying that he just wants to be friends? Or did I just misread his intentions? And you were right when you said it was fruitless. I made myself clear and told him that I was implying for him to accompany for sushi, and instead of a " I'll see you tonight then", he shot me down with one sentence " I made plans to meet someone at 8". Now I'm just curious to know who that someone is.
Die Hard Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Okay I 100% understand not wanting to meet at a park. If my sister wanted to meet a guy at a park I would have issues. So you protected yourself, and that's a good thing, but assuming this guy is not a psycho, he been rejected by you. You will have to make more efforts now to bring him back to a level of comfort that allows him to ask you out etc.. You have to remember, again assuming he's normal, that his ego probably took a little hit and he is now doubly unsure of how to proceed with you. Him saying he needed to stay home and paint makes more sense now. Probably a defense mechanism telling himself to hold back and feel you out some more beofre making another move that might result in another rejection. You have to decide if this guy is worth the time.
The Collector Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 So you're like the starving artist aren't you? you rather starve than abandon your art? I can eat and work. Food that is.
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 So carhill are you saying that he just wants to be friends? Or did I just misread his intentions? I'm saying that's how my BFF (she's ethnic Chinese, BTW) and I did things. You have to create interest and sexual tension in the man if you want this to be romantic. Otherwise, it's just hanging out without expectations or that romantic chemistry. Tell me, does he affect you sexually? Do you think about him that way? Then get it out there. Make me eat that crow
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Okay I 100% understand not wanting to meet at a park. If my sister wanted to meet a guy at a park I would have issues. So you protected yourself, and that's a good thing, but assuming this guy is not a psycho, he been rejected by you. You will have to make more efforts now to bring him back to a level of comfort that allows him to ask you out etc.. You have to remember, again assuming he's normal, that his ego probably took a little hit and he is now doubly unsure of how to proceed with you. Him saying he needed to stay home and paint makes more sense now. Probably a defense mechanism telling himself to hold back and feel you out some more beofre making another move that might result in another rejection. You have to decide if this guy is worth the time. Die hard, I don't understand the need for ME to actually make any more efforts than I did. I asked him out didn't I? Therefore shouldn't it my own ego that took a direct hit? I'm not sure if he's normal, but he I feel like I just can't really talk with him anymore. Yes in a way he did sort of wasted my time, because I did have other people asking me out. So why the park? I just don't understand. I never got asked to the park before, and I don't see how a date could commence from there. Unless it's not really a date. So then what the hell does he want to meet me for?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 I'm saying that's how my BFF (she's ethnic Chinese, BTW) and I did things. You have to create interest and sexual tension in the man if you want this to be romantic. Otherwise, it's just hanging out without expectations or that romantic chemistry. Tell me, does he affect you sexually? Do you think about him that way? Then get it out there. Make me eat that crow Sorry carhill sometimes you just really confuse me. What crow? Yes we did have conversations of a sexual nature, like wine on the roof and ice cream in the bedroom, or massages by candlelight. It did really attracted me because he was so open to all these romantic gestures.
Die Hard Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 For whatever reason, and it may be just me, but I'm getting a strange feeling about this park thing. It's just seems a strange place for a first date. I took a girl to a park once but it was on the third date and it was adjacent to the zoo which is where we went after having a picnic. We even had a cop on horseback come by and say hello to us, so it was a safe place going in. I can't even explain why I find it strange but it just seems an odd choice. Maybe he's just a starving artist and was short on money or thought you being a woman would find it romantic but in this day and age you can't go meeting guys at parks. If someone means you harm it's a perfect choice. Lack of cameras, crowds etc.. Not saying he's a psycho but one would hope he would know a park in not a great suggestion. My gut tells me to tell you to move on that this guy may be a flake. Not saying I'm right, just a gut feeling.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 For whatever reason, and it may be just me, but I'm getting a strange feeling about this park thing. It's just seems a strange place for a first date. I took a girl to a park once but it was on the third date and it was adjacent to the zoo which is where we went after having a picnic. We even had a cop on horseback come by and say hello to us, so it was a safe place going in. I can't even explain why I find it strange but it just seems an odd choice. Maybe he's just a starving artist and was short on money or thought you being a woman would find it romantic but in this day and age you can't go meeting guys at parks. If someone means you harm it's a perfect choice. Lack of cameras, crowds etc.. Not saying he's a psycho but one would hope he would know a park in not a great suggestion. Probably kicking himself for suggesting it in the first place. You're right. Most of my first dates, either involved a movie, going out to pool, or dinner. I never, ever got invited to the park. But I also know he isn't a starving artist. Maybe he just doesn't see me as date material.
Die Hard Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Die hard, I don't understand the need for ME to actually make any more efforts than I did. I asked him out didn't I? Therefore shouldn't it my own ego that took a direct hit? I'm not sure if he's normal, but he I feel like I just can't really talk with him anymore. Yes in a way he did sort of wasted my time, because I did have other people asking me out. So why the park? I just don't understand. I never got asked to the park before, and I don't see how a date could commence from there. Unless it's not really a date. So then what the hell does he want to meet me for?We were cross posting and some of these responses I didn't see before posting. Yeah in many ways I agree with you. You put yourself out there now and it didn't seem to help. One could argue that since you turned him down first regarding the park, that you have more responsibility to try and get this thing going(not saying that argument is correct), but if you're already having trouble talking to this guy, I'd suggest just moving on. I agree about the park thing. The whole thing taken in it's totality makes me think you should move on from this guy. I can't even express all the reasons why it just seems weird to me too.
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