SCooke Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Hi, About 6 months ago my girlfriend of 4 yrs broke up wit me. for the first couple of month, it was kind of a let's take a break phase, but after that she told me that she told me it was a permanent break up. It was a freindly break up, and I understand her reasons. I had taken her for granted the last year of our relationship, and she had just graduated and wants to travel and pursue a career on her own...however, she told me more than once that she can see us getting back together sometime in the future (like years down the road). So after about a month away from each other, we tried the friendship thing (hangin out like once or twice a week), but it was just too hard for me because I still love her and was just looking for signs of a make up possibility. I kept mistaking her kindness as a sign that she wants me back..So about 2 weeks ago, I told her I couldn't do it anymore, and i haven't talked to her since. I keep doubting if I did the right thing or not. On one hand, i need to move on with my life for right now and i can't do it when i see her. on the other hand, I believe that she is sincere when she says she sees a future for us, and I'm scared that by breaking off contact, I might ruin thsat chance.? What do I do?!! My friends are worthless because they just keep telling me to get over it and find new chicks! Not particularly helpful.
bluechocolate Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 You can't be friends right now, you've already admitted that to yourself. So about 2 weeks ago, I told her I couldn't do it anymore, and i haven't talked to her since. To my mind that was the right thing to do. I believe that she is sincere when she says she sees a future for us, and I'm scared that by breaking off contact, I might ruin that chance.? Are you could live the next 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 .... years waiting for that chance, a chance that might never materialise.
EmperorR Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Ah how classic, stringing the bait (hope), LET HER GO TRUST ME. "maybe there's a future for us" "who knows what the future holds" The only reason why she wants to be friends with you, to relieve her guilt, to slowly wean you off until she finds her next bf or close companion, and she enjoys being with you but not in a passionate way. Your ruining your chances by staying into contact actually, you will get placed in friendzone if your not already there, congrats on cutting that out and going no contact, heal yourself work on your self and when you reach indifference maybe you can try and be friends again or who knows maybe she will give you another chance.
Twist Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 When my now ex broke it off with me she pulled the lets be friends line. At the time I was still in shock and said I would love to. Now looking back at it, it was so stupid. I'm still in pain. How is talking to her going to help me heal? How is being told that she had a great time out going to help? How is going to feel when you have to comfort her because of something? Most importantly how are you going to feel when/if she moves on to someone else? Save yourself the pain, I know its hard I'm going through it as we type, and go NC. You need to shield #1, you, from this so avoidable pain.
Author SCooke Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Yeah, my brain tells me that I did the right thing by cutting it off. It's hard not to doubt yourself though. your words help a lot. I 'll move on with my life, and if she really meant what she said, and if it is meant to be, then it will happen. But you're right, I can't sit there and wait around for her, or i can't stand by and let her use me as a crutch as she moves on...
Author SCooke Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Twist, Thanks a lot. I can relate to what you wrote, a lot.
Recommended Posts