in_limbo Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I found another thread that almost exactly matches what I'm writing now. That thread was posted in 2006. So ddd in reading, please let me know what happened with you and your boyfriend. Last Friday, my bf was squabbling with me until I set him straight. He apologized and said he misinterpreted me and that he's been in a really weird mood lately. We were totally ok after that. We didn't see each other that weekend because he went home to see his parents. Before anything else, he just got retrenched. His last day at work was the Wednesday that week. He's been worried that he hasn't found a job yet. And yet, there have been times when he says he's perfectly fine getting retrenched because he had more time to do his interests. Normally when he goes to visit, he would call me to let me know he'd arrived safely. He didn't that weekend. I couldn't get through. I left him messages to call me back. Come Monday, when he was back, he called to tell me that his phone batt was low and that he was tired. So we hung up. That night, he called me again but ended the call to say he was grabbing dinner. Later that night, I texted him and asked him if i was a bother to him. He only replied the next day and said to give him time to think things through. I asked him if it was about our relationship. His reply was "my own stuff." The was no affirmation nor negation. I texted back to tell him that I'd like to help if he'd allow it and I wished him peace in his soul searching. He didn't reply again. On Thursday, I texted him to say "hi, hope everything's ok. No questions, no nothing. I sent him some job posts too. He didn't even bother to reply. I sent him some job posts too. We have been talking last year about getting married this year. I'm hurting and miserable now. I've been crying every night, even at work when no one's around. Is he trying to break up with me? I love this guy and I'd let him go if it means his happiness. How much time should I give him? Thanks in advance.
andy2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 exactly same case as of mine. my gf was laid off 2 months ago and then 1 month ago she asked me to give some space to her. I don't know exactly what is going on in her mind...But one month is passed since she left... I have no clue...I maintain NC though. only wrong thoughts come in my mind, although my door is open and I want to hear her atleast one time.
Author in_limbo Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 Hi andy2009, thanks for sharing. Do you even plan to break the NC? If you were the one who had asked for space, would you have wanted your gf to text you every now and then and been comforted to know that she cares or would you have felt annoyed and stifled? I've been wanting to make contact with him. Saw him online in IM but there was just silence between us.
Sonic_chaos Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I think in this aspect, just repsect his wishes that he wants to be left alone for the time being. Maybe send him a hand written note explaining your feelings and that the door is open anytime he feels its right. But id go NC until he contacts you. It might not be he wants to break up with you. he might just have something that he wants to sort out in his head. His might be his way of stopping anything bad happening before it goes with the break down of the relationship. All you can do is make it well known you still care so much about him and that you want to help him as much as possible in his difficult time he has. And you will respect his wishes and wont contact him. Seems job hunting is affecting alot of relationships at the moment, I dunno if mine was related to my situation with no job *i dont think so* but my ex at the time of the break up also didnt have any work for any months before, So she sat on her own alot thinking about us all the time... I wish you good luck and hopefully things will work out for you both
Author in_limbo Posted April 26, 2009 Author Posted April 26, 2009 Thanks for replying and your well wishes. I think I'll let him know next week. Then I'll free myself afterwards... easier said than done...
sotired Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 I am going through a lot of financial problems. I feel like I'm falling apart. My boyfriend has been very supportive...but part of me just wants to let him go so he doesn't have to deal with all of this. I have so much on my plate I'm not emotionally there for him like I should be....which just creates more guilt... In my case, I like getting texts from my boyfriend to know that he's thinking about me....But if he's not even responding, I would give him space to figure out what he needs to do.
andy2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Posted April 26, 2009 Hi andy2009, thanks for sharing. Do you even plan to break the NC? If you were the one who had asked for space, would you have wanted your gf to text you every now and then and been comforted to know that she cares or would you have felt annoyed and stifled? I've been wanting to make contact with him. Saw him online in IM but there was just silence between us. Hi in_limbo, I have been breaking NC several times and it is not good way. now I am strictly stick to NC. I have her email's password I have seen that initially she deleted all of my email... but recent on she read and not delete. It means when time passes peoples' feeling grow more and more.
Author in_limbo Posted April 30, 2009 Author Posted April 30, 2009 I begged him to talk to me to let me know how he is. we talked for a brief period yesterday, he said he has been busy and told me he was going home tonight... i texted him to thank him for calling and to let him know i felt better... i chatted him up today: in_limbo says: hi... guy says: hi in_limbo says: u got my text? in_limbo says: can i send off u tonight? guy says: dont need.. in_limbo says: but can i? in_limbo says: i'll see u later... guy says: no need.. in_limbo says: what time you plan to be in the bus terminal? in_limbo says: please? guy says: no.. in_limbo says: then please tell me why u don;t want to see me in_limbo says: r u angry with me? guy says: no.. in_limbo says: r u sick of me? guy says: I want to be alone for a while.. in_limbo says: i know you're going thru some rough patches right now but you don't have to ignore me guy says: I think you didnt hear me right.. guy says: I want to be alone for a while.. in_limbo says: ok... in_limbo says: take care of yourself in_limbo says: good luck on monday guy says: thanks.. guy says: you too. in_limbo says: i love you. bye. guy says: bye what do you guys think?
andy2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 I begged him to talk to me to let me know how he is. we talked for a brief period yesterday, he said he has been busy and told me he was going home tonight... what do you guys think? you did OK that you care him and he is passing thru his tough period. He cares you coz he came online and give time. But he doesn't want to think about love at this moment. your situation is much better than me. I couldnt talk any word since she gone. just got one very short reply though email (posted in another thread)
DJMarky Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 If you want to turn him off, annoy him and make him miss you less then keep contacting him. Take my advice, do not contact him at all, block him on instant messenger. Do not initiate any contact. You can't miss what you have. Let him miss you. It's going to be hard, but seriously do not make it worse. He wants to be left alone and was getting agitated but your persistence. Take a hint, go no contact. Also, when he does finally contact you, do not seem so eager, like you have been waiting to hear from him forever. Occupy yourself and show your independence!
Juristhea Posted April 30, 2009 Posted April 30, 2009 Just respect your boyfriend's decision to be alone for now. The more you force yourself back will only push him away from you farther. He's in a confused and depressed state right now and it's messing with his feelings for you.
Author in_limbo Posted May 1, 2009 Author Posted May 1, 2009 thanks for the support guys... i've decided to leave him alone. i'm gonna start letting go too, just so I don't hurt anymore.
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