colosseum Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 No, it's not about a 3-some...(yet?!?) but still, I ask for your guidance: I've been getting to know 2 girls slowly. They're both cute, and from what I could tell I've been getting decent feedback from both. Problem is, they're good friends. They're not BEST friends, but they certainly know each other quite well and converse & see each other quite regularly. Both are pretty shy so I haven't even made anything official yet (though I have gone on 2 personal dates with one girl); I haven't even kissed either yet. Now, I'm in favor of dating multiple people at once. That said, I fear there is an inevitable crossroads that is forthcoming very shortly. I have to be really careful here because I think as soon as they become aware of my courting the other, they will back off from me. I like both of them and want to get to know both of them better, also exploring my own feelings for them. But I definitely don't want to 1. not act, because inaction will be stupid 2. lose both of them just by my sheer dating them or 3. end up being the "player-*******." (The following analogy is problematic in many ways, but work with me please) If a lion goes after more than 1 gazelle at a time, it's not going to eat anything. But it has at least a chance if he focuses on one. This lion sees two great gazelles right now, but is not sure which one to go after...if he has to choose...(this is when the analogy kind of breaks down because a lion wouldn't get a taste-test/getting-to-know-period with a gazelle) How should I approach this? When/how do I have to be careful? What should I expect, or be aware of? How can I best reach what I desire and still have some integrity intact? Personal experiences? Guidance? Comments? Thoughts? Advice? Any and all would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for all your help (and patience!), LSers...
Author colosseum Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 If I am, I don't want to make it a conflagration. Ideas on what to do/what I should do?
dreamergrl Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I think it's time to fess up and let them know what's going on. I think you should have as soon as you knew they were friends. Honesty is always the best.
Author colosseum Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 I think it's time to fess up and let them know what's going on. I think you should have as soon as you knew they were friends. Honesty is always the best. Eh? It's not like anything is official at all though, and it's not like I've been cheating on the other...If I take your advice I'd end up saying to them: "I like you, but I also like your friend." Because that's what it comes down to. I by all means value your comments and advice, but I just don't know how that would fit in this situation... No one else has been in this state of affairs?!
spookie Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 IMO if you can't pick one, you shoulnd't be with either.
voldigicam Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I'm with picking one and talking to both. Or talking to both at once and asking them to choose. Or asking them both out. At the same time. If you wear appropriate protective clothing. Seriously, talking to them about the problem is likely to be the only way to make it work.
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