SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Hi guys well I'm in the process of ignoring my ex yet again he moved away in Feb but we have been in phone contact since. He was extremely abusive verbally/mentally and then finally physically toward the end. Ive kept in contact because I feel bad I think the guy has some serious mental issues and I know hes a heavy drinker so I help him sometimes with life stuff. I'm not attached in a bf/gf way anymore and I know I'm a good person who deserves better so if he starts acting up I tell him were to stick it and I switch off my phones. The thing is I haven't talked to him since he got nasty yesterday so I checked my cell and hes left increasingly weird nasty messages and the last one he said hes going to kill himself. Now I don't believe it for one min hes way to selfish and self absorbed to kill himself. I was just wondering isn't that just another manipulation tactic abusers try when the feel there not in control any more?
Ayla Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Hello, What a difficult situation you are in - and first of all - you should be very proud of yourself for getting out of this relationship. It takes a very brave person to be able to go as far as you have in terms of not wanting to be in a relationship with him. In regards to the phone contact etc etc - people who are abusive (in anyway) are controlling and they will use whatever means they can to have control over another person. I am afraid to say that he is using your good nature and kind heart for his own benefit - a manipulation tactic. The fact that he can still call you and that you will answer means that he still has some control over you. I think what you might be best to do is change your phone number and cut all contact with this person and if it gets worse and he starts visiting - then possibly visit the police. The only way he will loose total control over you - is to cut him off completely...and I understadn that you will always care for him, but you would be better off without him in your life. You can do it:)
EmperorR Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 You have to let this guy go cut off all contacts, let him deal with his problems on his own. He already abused yoou emtionally, physically do not let him manipulate you into being his friend or whatever. Trust me I know people like this they don't change overnight in weeks in months, it takes a long process, him threatening to kill himself is just trying to get sympathy, close your ears and don't listen to that bs.
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