She wants me to suffer!

[TheNoNamedMan]

Hey there LoveShack members. I made a new account here basically because I need help and was hoping some people in here could help me out with my situation. I'm sorry to not offer any names or dates or anything to identify me but I want to keep my identity anonymous in case someone I know might run out and tell her about this. It's a bit long so... Get some pop corn.

 

Well my problem right now is by ex girlfriend. You see, I used to LOVE this girl with my life. The first time I truly fell in love with anyone. Problems happened mostly because she started talking with this guy on the phone who was hitting on her and she didn't tell him to stop. Anyways, I got over that long ago. The problem now is, we've been broken up for around 2 months now. She didn't think that it was I who wanted to break up with her so we stayed good friends for about a week. When I told her I regretted breaking up with her, she said I didn't break up with her, neither of us did. Which confused me and i told her I thought it was me who broke up with her and she got mad pissed and started ignoring me and giving me attitude wherever I went. I mean it wasn't bad enough that when I told her and she started ignoring me that I broke down in front of everyone crying because I still had so much love left for this girl. No, she has to keep making me feel bad.

 

Two days after I said it was enough I needed her to stop all I want is for us to be friends and then she kept making me feel bad so I said "I came to you in hopes of being friends but you're too ****ing stubborn **** this".

 

That day I log into MSN and I put as my message "**** YOU BITCH AND BELIEVE ME I WON'T REGRET THAT". She then started messaging me and we started fighting and arguing but later on we chilled and got back to being friends. She called me up that night and we talked for a while and I asked her if she still wanted her stuffed animal back and she said she did. I give it to her and that same day I see she gave it to someone else so I told her to give me my hat back (long story. Precious hat to me) I didn't want to see her the next day so I asked a friend to ask her for it so he can give it to me. She told him she wanted to give it to me personally. When I ask her for my hat back, she put in an envelope with notes I had written her. At least 20. Then I told her "Why are you giving me this I don't want it" "I don't want it either, take it" "Then throw it away!" "No you throw it away!" So instead I wrote on it "AND A SCREW YOU TO YOU AS WELL!" and put it under her book bag.

 

The one day for no known reason I decide to call her because her friends started text messaging me anonymously and it pissed me off how she let them do it (One of the girls texting used to hate my ex because she's had a crush on me since I was 11 and now they're like BFFS). We spoke that night, we cried, we laughed, we had fun like when we were together. Then after this, we're friends for a while and I start getting anxious thinking everytime someone messages me or calls me that it would be her so that day I called her and asked her if she would ever call me again because I'm anxious and I want to know. She says now that she doesn't think we'll be able to talk in a long time. I say ok and we hang up. THAT SAME NIGHT SHE CALLS ME! The day after she calls me again. The day after that she didn't. Then here's the last time I've spoken to her (about 2-3 weeks):

 

She calls me up SO late at night crying so exaggerately and she tells me her dog died so I stay talking to her the whole night calming her down up to 1 am. We finish talking and we hang up. The next day I call her to see if she's ok and she says yeah and I ask her if we can talk for a little while and she says she doesn't feel right talking to me... It's ok to WTF at this everyone has. So I tell her "You used me.. Wow.." "No that's not it! It's just in the moment I needed someone and you said you would always be there for me no matter what (dumb b-... I was in love you idiot!)." Wow yeah that clears it up (started to tear up) you know what just leave me alone it's not right thanks a lot good bye." And after that I never looked at her, never spoke to her and just plainly ignored her like I did after I wrote the thing on the envelope. But the thing is, when that happened (the envelope thing) she would find ways to piss me off like if I was in lunch time with my friends she would stand a few feet away from me and talk to her friends knowing her presence disturbs me and she would make fun of me behind my back and stuff.

 

Well here's the last chapter to this story: I kept thinking to myself: If I hang out a lot, and just chill with my friends, I could get over this faster. And I was right. Every weekend I was going out and having so much fun but in my heart I still had her because I wanted her back when she would be ready for a relationship (I'll get to that in some other post). On her birthday I didn't even look at her but she went and spoke to my sister and I loved her mom so much she was like so awesome with me and I stopped talking to her out of respect for my ex so I said **** it and went over to talk to her. She started saying she missed me and she would like it if me and her daughter would get back together when she was ready for a relationship. HER OWN MOTHER! She said to call her to talk if I ever needed anything and I planned on doing so on my spring break (last week). So this whole week without class was gonna come up and I told myself "Finally I'll be able to not see her face for a long time." But every night I would think about her and imagine us getting back together and I wanted to speak to her mom about it so badly but I didn't have her number. So school started this week and I was thinking of going to her mom and getting her number real quickly but before I did I spoke to a friend of mine and she told me about her past love experiences and she doesn't recommend I do it that she's not worth it and I should just try to distract myself from her and that calling her mom would be a mistake. So I didn't.. Here's the problem. The next day in school in lunch she's talking to some other dude and hanging with him how we used to hang. And of course it broke my heart but it also helped me get over her.

 

Ok, last paragraph seriously! So of course, shaken by the experience of seeing her talk to this other guy, I go to my friends and they just say to ignore it and though it's hard I just got to because she's honestly not worth it. So I thought that was true and thought to myself "Well, if she has a new boyfriend, I can just hope the best for her and for her to be happy." And after I saw that, the image of her no longer made my knees shake in agony. And here's what I need help with: Today I was just talking with some friends standing by a wall and there goes my ex with her friends and that one girl that had a crush on me and walk right by me not once but 3 times. I ignore it and keep talking to my friends. Then after lunch we have to make lines in front of our class rooms and there she was, talking with the dude and some other guy on MY line. She even saw the people getting in her way but stayed there like the stubborn bitch she is... Ahem.. So that just pissed me off because I'm finally getting over her and not letting her precense disturb me but she makes herself more present to me. So I ignore it and tell my friends and they agree on her bitchiness. School is finally over and I go downstairs to the bus area where only people that go in the bus can go and people whose parents pick them up down there. This means she is not allowed to go there. When were together she did not go there in fear of getting in trouble, and then the envelope incident happened and she started going again. I told the principal and she had a talk with her about it. And now today after all that **** happened with her friends in my line and her walking in front of me she goes downstairs as well to show her presence and it just straight pisses me off because the only way I can get over her is if I don't look at her because I don't know if this happens to anyone else but my heart beats fast and my legs feel weak.

 

So I ask you LoveShack members, what should I do? I know she's not gonna stop making me feel bad. She's gonna do everything in her power to. Before anyone says she still loves me, she doesn't. Or at least she says she doesn't because a friend of hers who.. well I don't want to say much but she wanted something with me so she asked my ex who is a good friend of hers if she's sure she's over me and she even sais she's 101% sure. What I plan to do is if she ever gets close to me again when I'm with my friends I'm gonna start saying nasty **** about her out loud that she wanted me to not tell to anyone and/or tell the principal.

 

I'm sorry for being so extensive I've just never expressed this with my anger so liberatingly. There's more to the story but it's long enough. If anyone has questions I'll answer. And if anyone I know reads this well.. What can I say? I need to express myself as well.

 

Thank you so much for your time (Took me an hour to write this).

 

Oh and it's 1AM here so I'm going to take a bath, check the responses and go to sleep and when I get home from school I hope to read your answers.

[TheNoNamedMan]

Well I'm going to sleep so I'll check replies tomorrow. Until then I won't do anything but tell the principal. I just feel so good letting it all out...

[TheNoNamedMan]

Seriously?... Nobody?...

[TaraMaiden]

The only person letting you feel bad - is you.

Only you can control your thoughts, your perceptions and how you take things.

Nobody is entering your head and controlling what you think.

So it is your reactions and views you need to change.

let her get on with her life.

You get on with yours.

[JohnnyBlaze]

People wonder why "No Contact" is so highly touted. I think your story pretty much proves its usefulness. She appears to have a chip on her shoulder and she's taking it out on you. As long as she sees that it affects you, she'll continue. So stop caring. At least don't show any signs that you care. If one of your friends says "hey, isn't that your ex walking naked down the hallway", your only response should be "I think so. So whaddya want to do after school?".

 

As much as you may want to, stop trash talking her. I mean it. Stop NOW. You're firing shots in a war that you can't win. Girls have more experience, more weapons (e.g. crying on command, gossip networks) and have practically no scruples when it comes to a trash-talk war. You may call her a b**ch, but by the end of the day she can have half of the school convinced that you're having a love affair with the janitor and you like to wear women's panties.

 

Ignore her. Treat her like anyone else you don't know. Don't play along with this game.

[EmperorR]

People wonder why "No Contact" is so highly touted. I think your story pretty much proves its usefulness. She appears to have a chip on her shoulder and she's taking it out on you. As long as she sees that it affects you, she'll continue. So stop caring. At least don't show any signs that you care. If one of your friends says "hey, isn't that your ex walking naked down the hallway", your only response should be "I think so. So whaddya want to do after school?".

 

As much as you may want to, stop trash talking her. I mean it. Stop NOW. You're firing shots in a war that you can't win. Girls have more experience, more weapons (e.g. crying on command, gossip networks) and have practically no scruples when it comes to a trash-talk war. You may call her a b**ch, but by the end of the day she can have half of the school convinced that you're having a love affair with the janitor and you like to wear women's panties.

 

Ignore her. Treat her like anyone else you don't know. Don't play along with this game.

 

Yep, listen to this poster, trust me I have a friend whose almsot the same as the op, he tried but he couldn't win his ex had all of her gfs in her corner, spreading gossip slander about him, you can't win, best to go no contact if she can't contact you how can she make you suffer?

[TheNoNamedMan]

The only person letting you feel bad - is you.

Only you can control your thoughts, your perceptions and how you take things.

Nobody is entering your head and controlling what you think.

So it is your reactions and views you need to change.

let her get on with her life.

You get on with yours.

 

You think I haven't tried to control it? I mean when I saw her talking to the guy I felt so bad but later on relieved. I had no more thoughts of her for the rest of the day it felt so good to finally get over it and live my own life but the way she disrespected me affects me even right now! I'm just so angry at how she kept making herself present to me when I finally forgot about her. And it just pisses me off soooo badly because even right now there's no contact but I can't go a minute without getting pissed off at her for what she did and hoping she won't do it again. It's like, WHAT can I do to stop myself from thinking about her? Even when I'm distracted I think: Well I finally got her off my mind!.... ****!

 

Thanks!

 

People wonder why "No Contact" is so highly touted. I think your story pretty much proves its usefulness. She appears to have a chip on her shoulder and she's taking it out on you. As long as she sees that it affects you, she'll continue. So stop caring. At least don't show any signs that you care. If one of your friends says "hey, isn't that your ex walking naked down the hallway", your only response should be "I think so. So whaddya want to do after school?".

 

As much as you may want to, stop trash talking her. I mean it. Stop NOW. You're firing shots in a war that you can't win. Girls have more experience, more weapons (e.g. crying on command, gossip networks) and have practically no scruples when it comes to a trash-talk war. You may call her a b**ch, but by the end of the day she can have half of the school convinced that you're having a love affair with the janitor and you like to wear women's panties.

 

Ignore her. Treat her like anyone else you don't know. Don't play along with this game.

 

I don't trash talk her. I treat her like nobody. The thing is, the way I can get over her is by not being able to even look at her, but her presence makes it so much harder. And I try to ignore her so much but she keeps making herself visible. I spoke to the principal and she said she'll talk to her and that I shouldn't even THINK about talking to her because she's just trying to provoke me. I'm glad she's leaving school next year and I'm only missing like 2 more weeks til summer... It just angers me. I blocked all contact with her or anyone around her by the way. But I just want to know what to do considering what I wrote above.

 

Thank you too!

 

Yep, listen to this poster, trust me I have a friend whose almsot the same as the op, he tried but he couldn't win his ex had all of her gfs in her corner, spreading gossip slander about him, you can't win, best to go no contact if she can't contact you how can she make you suffer?

 

I try to do everything to avoid her. Believe me I do. The only thing missing is to shoot her in the back of her head... Which sounds pretty good. But yeah she just seems to have no ****ing respect and it pisses me off.

[TaraMaiden]

It might be her fault she is acting in this manner, I know what you are saying.

But your manner, your attitude, your responses, how you take things, is up to you to control.

 

You need to completely release your own pride and ego...

Your 'poor me!' attitude.

The more you dwell in self-pity, the more this will harm you.

So you need to look into your mirror every morning and tell yourself that this is not something that can damage you any longer.

You feel angry hurt damaged, insulted.... because you permit yourself to feel angry, hurt damaged and insulted.

You need to shrug this off, because wearing such emotions is damaging.

Would you purposely take a stick and stab yourself in the eye, repeatedly? of course not.

So why permit yourself to keep doing this to yourself?

 

What she does, how she behaves may be displeasing in your eyes, but you cannot do a single thing about it.

 

So do something about you.

Don't 'try' to do.....Do.

 

_/l\_

[TheNoNamedMan]

It might be her fault she is acting in this manner, I know what you are saying.

But your manner, your attitude, your responses, how you take things, is up to you to control.

 

You need to completely release your own pride and ego...

Your 'poor me!' attitude.

The more you dwell in self-pity, the more this will harm you.

So you need to look into your mirror every morning and tell yourself that this is not something that can damage you any longer.

You feel angry hurt damaged, insulted.... because you permit yourself to feel angry, hurt damaged and insulted.

You need to shrug this off, because wearing such emotions is damaging.

Would you purposely take a stick and stab yourself in the eye, repeatedly? of course not.

So why permit yourself to keep doing this to yourself?

 

What she does, how she behaves may be displeasing in your eyes, but you cannot do a single thing about it.

 

So do something about you.

Don't 'try' to do.....Do.

 

_/l\_

 

Well, everything there made sense. Thanks. I'll try to... I WILL do something about this. Thanks