Something I always wonderered....

[EmperorR]

Why is she always in my mind like it seems every minute of the day after she dumps me, I went through this with my ex fiance as well. Yet when I was in a relationship with them they weren't in my mind like this, I wasn't thinking what they are doing etc., now i'm like a hawk and I hate it, get out of my mind dammit, GET OUT OF MY MIND.

[twicebitten]

And I think they're in our mind more BECAUSE they're not in our lives ... our arms ... our reach!! They're out-of-reach, yet in-our-minds ... that's ALL we have of them!!?

 

 

XO - TB -

[fofiffs]

I'm right there with you. I wish there was some type of cure or pill for this. But just for tonight imma drink it away. Even just for a moments of not thinking of her will at least bring me some relief for a brief time.

[TheBigCow]

Hey fofiffs, I'm not going to tell you not to drink, but in my experience its best not to get so drunk that you spend the next day in bed.. then you'll just wish she was by your side!

[DJMarky]

Dude, im right there with you.

 

After seeing her yesterday with her new boyfriend just makes it worse man. It sucks! What is even worse, I can bet every penny I own that they had sex just before they came outside, since that is pretty much all I did with her. A blowjob to her is like a handshake, given all the time, no matter where. In fact she was the type of girl who enjoyed it so much it was hard to get her to stop. Makes me sick thinking about it cause I had such strong feelings for her. She used to call herself '<my name>'s <her name>'. Ugh ..

 

Anyways, can't give any advice, since this is the first time I have experienced this. It's all new to me. Let's hope time cures.

 

I wrote her a long email then, didn't send it of course. Just wrote down everything. I am going to keep adding to it and editing it for a month or longer and see how I feel about sending it then. I thought I got everything off my chest, but the fact I am still so angry proves otherwise. Maybe I need to actually talk to her in person, since emailing I get no response. I don't know.

 

Like fofiffs said I am planning on going drinking tonight. We are having a poker night with the boys after work, then I could be meeting up with my mates, my bro and his mates for a gig. However, it's the type of gig that my ex and her bf and all his friends would attend, which could really **** me over. I wish I knew if she was going or not.

 

Pathetic how she still has such an effect on me to this day.

[fofiffs]

Hey fofiffs, I'm not going to tell you not to drink, but in my experience its best not to get so drunk that you spend the next day in bed.. then you'll just wish she was by your side!

 

Just for tonight, but i'm past that point wishing she was right by my side. The first month we broke up thats all I wished for. I got used to sleeping by myself again. But like emperor, it's just the thoughts of her that clouds my mind.

[Alex_M]

Gentlemen, it does indeed suck.

 

Sometimes I just feel like getting in the car and driving for days and days and get as far away as possible.

 

and yet other days I feel like holding her in my arms just one more time.

[9Lives]

I know how you feel. You have to strageticly work at getting them out of your mind. One thing that has been helpful is because I went to jail yesterday for tickets. I meet some pretty miserable people. What I learned is that IT COULD BE WORST. Your problems could be worst. In jail I realize that I could be losing my home, my money, my bed, my couch, my freinds, my freedom, my ability to choose and do whatever I want. The list went on and on. I wear a rubber band on my wrist and I wrote on it....IT COULD BE WORST and i pop myself when I get overwhelmed.

 

I dont agree with what he is doing and his decision but I had to let go. I have to deal with it.

 

So trick yourself some kind of way. My rubberband is my reminder to let it go..... My emotions are still there so dont feel bad. It does take time to get over it.

[Alex_M]

That's a damn good idea actually. Thanks

[PinkRibbon]

They are always in our minds because we got dumped. I think because it makes us feel like we did something wrong and we are unworthy. When we do "something wrong" we think about it alot. We are made to feel like we did something wrong we can never fix.

 

Wrong! They did something wrong. They dumped wonderful people who loved and cared about them. They are the ones with the problem not us. But we will still think about them all day because we miss them.

 

Life bites.

[janjan]

hey guys

 

been right there with you, and still get bothered by it sometimes. just give it time and its very important to keep the hell away from reminders. even looking at a stupid past email or something she gave you can set you back.

 

to me what is working isn't to try to MAKE it go away, but to sever reminders and focus on other things. spend time with friends, go talk to new girls, spend time on stuff you're into, etc. With time, you will think of her less and and your thoughts will change into reflecting on just HOW WRONG she was for you. You will come to realize that her head was in a totally different place from you, and because of that, you won't really miss what you had anymore, but be glad that you got out of a neverending cycle of fruitless effort.

 

it happens guys. you go from being very upset over it not working out, to being excited by the idea of going out there and meeting someone new!

[EmperorR]

Sigh I hate it, I'm at work now and she's just in my mind.

 

I know today she will be out drinking and clubbing with her friends and probably screwing a guy she just met again.

[Artu]

As soon as you understand that its useless,you will get rid off thoughts of her .

 

The main is to UNDERSTAND it .

 

Fix your attention on other aspects of your life . Meanwhile .

[Chinook]

Dont worry, there will come a time when she/he is not in your mind. It tends to happen when you least notice it. One thing you CAN do though, is to FOCUS positively on something else. Just try it. It works for me.