robaday Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 A rather disturbing finding I know, the person i fell in love with was not real. i mean she was real, but as it was LDR and communication was mostly thru text&email it allowed my imagination (which is very vivid) to run free. She's actually quite normal, if i dare say it boring. But distance, loneliness etc made me paint her as "the one". At the break up I was drunk. I hadn't seen her in over 2 months but had spoken every day for that period. The quickness and shock and dare I say it memory loss of that fateful evening made everything seem completely unreal. I was in a new city, knew not a single person, shy by nature, 10,000 miles from home the only thing I thought of was her. Not the real her, but the angelic her which my brain had constructed. In obssessive love they say that the obssession starts when the break up occurs. If scientists or psychotherapists had wanted an experiment here was it-a guy with nothing to to pre-occupy him but this mysterious ex who lived somewhere (god knows where) in the same state. After 3 months our interactions became rather bizarre to say the least. I started projecting all my internal angst, what was happening at her-she didn't know what was happening. I studied loveshack constantly, spent hours and hours (how many work hours wasted) analyzing every single thing. I spent thousands on therapy as knew no-one else, I pissed off my new friends going on about this girl. The reality is, if she lived down the road, if we spoke on the phone then she would not be in my head-she would be real, a tangible normal human being. I think I've really creeped her out this time-i sent a long email the other day saying how hard it had been to let her go etc etc, but she's just a girl for christsake, its all in my head, and I've ignored the world outside and spent too many hours dwelling on what might have been. Anyone else found this? that their mind plays tricks on them? I guess that's the thing that disturbs me, when i knew she wasn't thinking about me I disappeared, back into a childlike state. sorry if that all sounds like bull**** but I wanted to get it out (ps it was first love)
sugarmomma Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Sounds like me. Just in love with the idea of love. I am a love addict. Look it up there is help for us:bunny:
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 An image you say??? Cadillac Converj. NYC car show 09' love at first sight. :love:
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Have you ever read 'The Way by Swann's'. In the book Swann falls in love with a woman because he thinks she looks like a painting. His love of her is based entirely on an image. When it ends, he says how he cant believe "the love of his life was someone that wasn't even my (his) type". I think we can merge images, thoughts, our own expectations into an individual. It isn't real. A friend of mine recently said all love is, is thoughts, feelings, lust and friendship which we merge into something more meaningful by constructing a story. We use our feelings and our memories to make a story which makes that person significant or important to us.
Recommended Posts