LeighG Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Just ovt of curiosity, how many people here have had, or have heard of anyone having a successful outcome when their significant other has want "some space" or "some time"? I never have.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I've used it countless times - every single one was a form of breaking up.
Rogue52 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 The statistics show that this is a form of breakup 99.99999999999999999% of the time.
Art_Critic Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 The stats aren't good in my experience.. I need space = I want to date the other guy over there and not you.. but I don't want to hurt you by breaking up with you.
Tryng2Trust08 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 It depends on the situation...Some people genuinely do need some space, maybe they are going through a hard time in their life and trying to juggle too many things and just need some time to sort some things out. And it can mean they want to break up, but they can't be honest and upfront, so this is a cowardly way out.
andy2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I am agree with Tring2Trust08 that many people pass through hard time and they can not take decision when love is involve they also want to check when alone...
MichiganMan222 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 But even if they REALLY want the space and no one else is in the equation, it still means you're an expendable/disposible part of their life and it probably isn't a good fit anyway. I know when I'm in crazy about someone (like I am now), when times are rough, she is the FIRST thing I want to see.
Art_Critic Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Some people genuinely do need some space, maybe they are going through a hard time in their life and trying to juggle too many things and just need some time to sort some things out. and how is that good for a relationship ? It still means the relationship is in the tank.. If my wife told me one day that she needed space I can honestly tell you that the marriage would be over...
Aerorobyn Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I asked my ex for a little bit of space during our relationship. In no way did I want to breakup with him--I just needed some time to myself for a while. I was completely stressed out and overwhelmed with a lot of stuff. Nonetheless, I never got that space. He'd tell me, "ok" and then five minutes later he'd be calling my phone constantly, looking at my Myspace, sending me Emails, etc. I really don't think all cases of "needing space" are the same. Thus, not every case is "wanting a breakup" thing.
Donovan Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 i've heard it. recently too as she was in the process of cutting me off and spending time with her other mate but i knew all along anyway so i wasn't as mad.
Treasa Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I guess I'm the positive stat. Early on in my relationship, my boyfriend told me he needed space. I was being a bit clingy and worrying and showed him how much it affected me, and he pulled away. Truth be told, he wasn't used to having a serious relationship, so it was partly his fault too. He told me he needed space. I stopped calling. Two days later he missed me. From that point forward I learned a lot of things about men and how they react to how we act. Generally, the happier I am and the less I cling (hey, go figure), the more he clings to me.
EmperorR Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I need space = i need space from you so I can go get with someone else, but if it doesn't work out I won't need space anymore.
Donovan Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I need space = i need space from you so I can go get with someone else, but if it doesn't work out I won't need space anymore. exactly. i swear on my life the next time i hear "i need space" i'm gon tell a b*t** to die slow and never speak to her again(if i ever date again hahaha)
Chinook Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I need space = i need space from you so I can go get with someone else, but if it doesn't work out I won't need space anymore.Nail. Hit. Squarely on Head.
bluechocolate Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 There is a world of difference between needing space & spending less time together. Committing yourself to an exclusive relationship should mean trying to sort out your problems together, regardless if they're personal or primarily concerned with the relationship. If someone says they need space & that equates to "Don't call me, I'll call you" then you should presume that the relationship is over. Full stop.
Art_Critic Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 There is a world of difference between needing space & spending less time together. Committing yourself to an exclusive relationship should mean trying to sort out your problems together, regardless if they're personal or primarily concerned with the relationship. If someone says they need space & that equates to "Don't call me, I'll call you" then you should presume that the relationship is over. Full stop. Nicely put
Twist Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 My ex gave me I need time to think. Now I'm alone and want her back. I can't say I didn't see it coming.
teachrmn Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I am not dating this person, we are good friends or was good friends. We worked together and I became friends with her while she was going thru a some difficult times with her marriage. We've hung out a little outside of work and I did tell her once that when things are all through with her and she is ready to move on I would date her in a heartbeat. Anyhow, I think she tried to make another attempt at her marriage and finally decided that it is 100% over (this has been going on since Dec) I helped her move out of her house, she crashed at my place for a few days and so forth. Like I said I tried to be a friend, but I wonder if she thought we were getting to close. She told me recently that she need "space" . I ask her to define that and she told me it basically means less interaction. WTF? I don't understand. Also at work she has been very cold and distant toward me. But with other coworkers, she is as happy as can be. Can anyone help me out. One of my friends says that because I am single she may see me as a "threat", meaning that I could come on to her when she is vunerable. Another friend told me that sometimes people are harsh toward the people that they are closest too. ( I don't buy this) Bottom line is are her and I ever going to have the same friendship again? I just moved to the area and I don't know too many people down here. She was really the only close friend I had. I am giving her the space she wants and now that training is over, I won't have as much close contact with her. (last two weeks was hell) Any suggestions for meeting people and getting over the loneliness and this woman? Thanks everyone
bluechocolate Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 @teachrmn you need to start your own thread
loser101 Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 I am not dating this person, we are good friends or was good friends. We worked together and I became friends with her while she was going thru a some difficult times with her marriage. We've hung out a little outside of work and I did tell her once that when things are all through with her and she is ready to move on I would date her in a heartbeat. Anyhow, I think she tried to make another attempt at her marriage and finally decided that it is 100% over (this has been going on since Dec) I helped her move out of her house, she crashed at my place for a few days and so forth. Like I said I tried to be a friend, but I wonder if she thought we were getting to close. She told me recently that she need "space" . I ask her to define that and she told me it basically means less interaction. WTF? I don't understand. Also at work she has been very cold and distant toward me. But with other coworkers, she is as happy as can be. Can anyone help me out. One of my friends says that because I am single she may see me as a "threat", meaning that I could come on to her when she is vunerable. Another friend told me that sometimes people are harsh toward the people that they are closest too. ( I don't buy this) Bottom line is are her and I ever going to have the same friendship again? I just moved to the area and I don't know too many people down here. She was really the only close friend I had. I am giving her the space she wants and now that training is over, I won't have as much close contact with her. (last two weeks was hell) Any suggestions for meeting people and getting over the loneliness and this woman? Thanks everyone yes you need to start your own thread but can tell you this much: she has just broken up with her husband, she doesn't want to be involved with another man for a while. she felt the two of you were getting too close, she tried to distance herself by being cold. meeting people: try classes. whatever interest you have, if you pick something that women are into as well than that's even better. try various activities, you must have leisure centres, etc around where you live
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