Jake Barnes Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 LOL @ TBF. You know, I sort of do understand, because I feel a LOT older and more experienced than high schoolers for instance. But the difference is that high schoolers are rarely capable of sustaining a relationship, where people out of college are much moreso. One more time, I'm not trying to underestimate the changes that occur in the twenties, or ask to be considered as if I was your age, I just think that most of the younger posters who post regularly are actually looking for a serious and healthy relationship. I just lump everyone under thirty into one big group
Citizen Erased Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I just lump everyone under thirty into one big group The "Probably More Successful Than Me" group?
Trialbyfire Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I agree, at least from a style and empathy standpoint. I'm excited to see them evolve even further though... that is, assuming they even stick around long enough for us to see it. They already have changed, to an extent. But then so have we. She was born when you were listening to Debbie Gibson and wearing jean jackets Ha...I never listened to Debbie Gibson. My older sibs made certain I had decent taste in music. I still have a jean jacket in my closet. I'm waiting for a revival, so I can pair it with my leather skirt.
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 The "Probably More Successful Than Me" group? Oh, so gentle
Jake Barnes Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 The "Probably More Successful Than Me" group? the "why do they looks so good and suck so bad" group
Trialbyfire Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 We wouldn't be here if we weren't...kdark, you're one of those poster who I had no idea was in his early twenties. Consider that a compliment.
bean1 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I'm 24 but I tend to forget since I'm done college, shacked up, and most of my friends are married with babies.
kdark Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I'm 24 but I tend to forget since I'm done college, shacked up, and most of my friends are married with babies. I am reminded every weekend that I am 22 when my friends tell me what the plans are for the night. And thank you TBF. I do take that as a compliment.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 you still sleep with stuffed animals Thank you very much for displaying the exact condescension Isolde was talking about in her OP. And you still hump your pillow. I hump my stuffed animals whew I feel better now the truth has set me free!! lol
xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Oh I'll admit when I first joined LS, I was immature in my responses. I was really stubborn as well because I always saw things a certain way compared to the older generations. But I have learned alot on here, and I'm still willing to take most of the criticisms that are headed me. I guess despite all the supposed condescension you guys really reared me into a mature person.
spookie Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I think most of the early to mid-twenty-somethings who come to LS and stay are probably more mature (or at least more reflective) than their peers in the general population. It is annoying to hear that we should wait till we grow up. But ya know... a lot of the time when that's said, it turns out to be true. Though it isn't growing up that we should wait to do. More like wait some time to realize we're misguided. The part that bothers me more than the age thing is when people accuse posters of not *actually* seeking help. Why the fcvk else would they post? For most people, change is a slow process; it takes a while to process advice, form an opinion, and follow it through. I understand it's frustrating to see the same poster making the same mistakes, but it's unreasonable to expect they'll just do what you say right away, even if that's so obviously the right decision. I just get annoyed when I post just to hear I'll never change, I don't listen anyway, etc. I have listened, and I have made changes, and even if that isn't clear, I think the fact that it's possible a poster might should be the assumption on a site like this.
GorillaTheater Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I wonder if I'm sometimes guilty of this. I tend to visualize posters in their early 20s as I would my kids, and that may well make me come across as consenscending. I'll try to be aware of that from now on.
Lizzie60 Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 I have to admit that I, most of the time, skip those very young posters.. because, IMO, no matter what kind of advices or how many times we tell them what they should/shouldn't do.. they will not listen.. as they have to make their own life experiences.. and there is not as much to discuss with much younger posters..
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Then there are those gems who make it all worthwhile. Leaving the stone untouched reveals little of what may lie beneath. I do the same thing IRL. Agelessness can be healthy and invigorating, but you know that
Trialbyfire Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 For some reason, I was thinking about this thread this morning. I don't know if others find themselves doing this but sometimes, in either not knowing a person's age or not thinking about it, the advice provided is for someone older. On the otherhand, many times, the advice provided is from personal experience, whereby the hope is that people can learn something from my experiences. Which is better? To not say anything and let people bull their way through an issue, to personally experience the pain as the best way to learn a hard lesson, or to say something and hope the advice helps as little or as much as possible. Should we let people hit rock bottom, even though they're asking for advice? I guess it's reliant on the individual. So what was my point? Damned if I know!
westernxer Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Should we let people hit rock bottom, even though they're asking for advice? Yes. Everyone deserves a trip to the bottom at least once. LOL
anne1707 Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 So what was my point? Damned if I know! Now you see TBF, that's an age thing. It's like when you go upstairs to fetch something and by the time you get there, you have forgotten what you wanted
alphamale Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 So the main thing I want to get across is that sometimes when younger posters try to give advice, it isn't well taken because we're young, even though in some cases our perspectives may be just as legitimate as older people's one needs a lot of time to experience different things first hand and no 27 year old i know will have the knowledge and wisdom of a 45 year old While it's true that at times we may lack depth or wisdom, being told we don't have it is sort of like a slap in the face--like being told the sky is blue and it's our fault, or something. when i was young i was told numerous times by older people that i was "wet behind the ears" and naive....in retrospect they were all correct. but that was 20 years ago and now I get to dish it out.
You'reasian Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Now you see TBF, that's an age thing. It's like when you go upstairs to fetch something and by the time you get there, you have forgotten what you wanted I've got a bowl of milk and a can of tuna downstairs...
loser101 Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 That's the condescending part. You really need to talk to my wife. She reads my posts and says exactly the same thing, except for the gentle part seriously? sorry to be off topic, I only have one question here: how do you feel posting knowing that your other half reads it? appreciate you don't say anything here you wouldn't discuss with her but I thought posting on LS was your release.
You'reasian Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 seriously? sorry to be off topic, I only have one question here: how do you feel posting knowing that your other half reads it? appreciate you don't say anything here you wouldn't discuss with her but I thought posting on LS was your release. Being single makes being on LS easier lol
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 StarGazer, that isn't the point. The point is what kdark said: We've come here to get and give constructive advice. It's not like we're throwing some sort of proverbial college party on LS and disrespecting the rights and statements of older posters. In fact, I give a LOT of weight to what older posters say, considering of course that they're all individuals and all have different experiences to offer. I'm not arguing that we still have growing up to do. I'm arguing that we still have legitimate reasons to be on this site and as such, condescending comments can make us feel awkward. How you use this site is up to you. I typically recommend that you post about very specific situations, and take a balanced look at what the posters advise. It's the generalized threads that wander around and never get you anywhere. Age doesn't play too much of a role here. When I first started posting here everyone thought I was 40 or 50, but I am actually much younger. I've even had people think I was female. What I'm saying is that I am not sure age really plays the ultimate role here. There are some 45 yo guys who I have the maturity level of a 17 yo. Maturity seems to come from the ability to understand people and situations... not just from experience. You in particular are interesting because I think you are VERY mature in some regards, yet not as much in others. Anyway... that's my 2 bits.
Author Isolde Posted April 25, 2009 Author Posted April 25, 2009 You in particular are interesting because I think you are VERY mature in some regards, yet not as much in others. Care to elaborate? You can be as blunt as you want
alphamale Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 Care to elaborate? You can be as blunt as you want sorry isolde but you have to pay the price just like we did. think of it as a "right of passage"
carhill Posted April 25, 2009 Posted April 25, 2009 how do you feel posting knowing that your other half reads it? appreciate you don't say anything here you wouldn't discuss with her but I thought posting on LS was your release.What often sets apart we old farts from the "younger set" are those lessons only gained in the furnace of life experience. What I've learned is that my truth is my truth and my wife seeing my truth in whatever way she chooses to is acceptable to me. Whether it is listening to me or reading posts, I can't control her perception and would be foolish to think that her not reading these forums would in any way alter her opinion or perception. Another aspect of aging is the gaining of perspective regarding life's challenges and seeing humor in them, not as an escape, but rather as an avenue to understanding and acceptance. You might find the older posters to take things "seriously", but in a markedly different way than the younger posters. We've lived through that intensity of emotion, made our mistakes and hopefully have learned from them. As I often find myself laughing at the absurdity of it all when reading posts here, I find the humor to be a good release of the serious tensions which we all live with. Just last night, in the dating American women thread, I was joking about an American woman killing me, slowly (a veiled reference to my W) and then I saw that very reality playing out in skinman's thread, where he was seriously considering checking out. Humor instantly turned to support. IMO, that's the value of this community. TBH, I really don't care who reads it. If someone gains value and support, that's all that matters to me. Sometimes that person is me
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