Sprig Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Hello, I have a question I was hoping I could get some advice with. I do internet dating and about a year ago I started chatting with this girl "Kathy". We added each other as Facebook friends. It seemed like we had a lot in common and I asked her if she wanted to meet up at some point. For one reason or another she kind of shy away. Whatever no big deal. Fast forward a couple months I meet this other girl "Lucy" and we started dating. Things were going great and at one point she mentioned she made a new friend and it turns out it was "Kathy". I'm not really one to hold grudges and I looked at this friendship as a great thing and looked forward to meeting Kathy, however Lucy said Kathy felt a little awkward with us meeting as she kind of blew me off a few months earlier. Again, I could careless. We did finally meet and we ended up enjoying each other's company and we had quite a few things in common and similar lines of thinking. Things between Lucy and myself were rocky mostly because of a few issues she had which weren't my fault and she ended up breaking up with me. This relationship left me not so much hating Lucy but feeling really hurt. Kathy offered to be there for me and help me through the break up and offer insight into Lucy actions. Both girls said a couple times that Kathy wants to be friends with me. We actually got to chatting a little bit more on Facebook and finally met up for a drink. We talked for over two hours in the pub and we had lots in common. Kathy is incredibly busy these days working on her thesis and has very little time for socializing. However she said she wants to meet up again in a couple weeks. Kathy has sent me a few e-mails that have really peaked my interest in her, just based on her view point and values. I am wondering if I should tell her I have a little bit of a crush on her or should I just play the friend card for a while? On the one hand I don't want to force anything, but on the other she is a great gal and I'm afraid if I wait too long she will find boyfriend. If I do tell her would it be better to do it through a Facebook message or in person? The thing I am afraid of is if I tell her I do like her, it might make the friendship we're just starting a little weird if she doesn't feel the same way about me. Any advice?
BobSacamento Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Whatever you do do it in person. And don't tell her you like her, show her you like her.
Author Sprig Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 Thanks Bob, How do you suggest I do that? She already knows I like her as a friend, how do I show her I might to be more than friends.
BobSacamento Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Take her out, show her a good time, (if she allows you to pay that's always a good sign, if she doesn't it's still up in the air, some women like to show they are independent, usually they'll let you know so it doesn't hurt your chances) then at the end of the night when the time is right - make your move.
Author Sprig Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Cool thanks Bob, we did go out to the pub last week and I thought it was just for coffee. But she ended up ordering an appetizer and so did I, but only because she did. When the waiterss came by at the end and ask if it was on two checks or one I said before she had a chance, "On one please" and paid for it. When we parted she did thank me for picking up the tab and said she would get it next time. Any other advice?
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Ring her, make a date for this week. Ask her what kind of food she likes and if she'd be interested in joining you for dinner. You decide where, taking into consideration what she likes. Expect to pay. If dinner goes well, and you've done some flirting, go for a walk after. If that's not possible, when you say goodnight, kiss her. Don't talk about it. Just look in her eyes and do it. If she turns her head or otherwise resists, accept that and smile. It will leave an impression. Regardless, leave her be for a bit to process. No rush. Look around. Lots of other young ladies
Author Sprig Posted April 24, 2009 Author Posted April 24, 2009 Thanks carhill, that is a good idea. There is the new movie, Earth that I think we would both really enjoy. Maybe in a week or two I'll give her a call and ask if she would like to go see it and see where that takes us. You guys have been really helpful!
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Tip: Avoid movies while getting to know her. You want face time. Now, dinner *and* a movie wouldn't be bad if you feel there's enough chemistry evident to sustain a whole evening. Oh, also, don't wait "a couple of weeks". She'll be wondering if you lost interest. I know when my female friend and I have dinner (we're friends, not dating) they end up serving us from the bar because everyone has left the restaurant. Literally hours. Doesn't matter that we've known each other 24 years. Find a girl like that with whom you have sexual chemistry and you're golden
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