jessicasilver Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 me and my ex had a huge arguement and he dumped me 2 months ago, we were together for almost 11 months, i begged him to take me back but he broke my heart and said no i had to move on.... i used to come on msn all the time but recently i had better things to do so ive only been on 2 times in 3 weeks, my ex hasnt been coming on either however the first time i came on he signed in an hour later... then i never came on for over week he didnt come on, then i came on yesterday to catch up with friends and he signed in 2 minutes later... am i reading in to this too much or is he playin mind games with me i cant even block him because i know his sister !!! what do you think is going on? does he want me to start conversation with him??
Excellent Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 I think you are reading to much into it. He broke your heart, stay away. Do what i did, delete your ex from msn. It helps not seeing her/his name there everytime you log in.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 i know i might be reading in to it too much but its happened a couple of times now, he will only come online if im online, he will continuous change his screen name trying to make me jealous and when i sign out appearing offline he only has his name on his screen name
Excellent Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Well, then it's obvious that he wants to play with you. If you want to play, don't give in. Let him put whatever he wants for his status, or change his msn name to whatever he wants, but stay away. Don't even open the chat window. If anyone should crack, it's him, not you. Don't give him the satisfaction of giving him any attention. If you don't want to play, delete him! (I recommend this one)
Sonic_chaos Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 I'll be the first to admit thatr my ex is still on my msn list. probably not a good thing but we dont use it that much. When she does come on and i am appearing offline, i have in the past come on and then gone straight back out. just to see if she went off. But she didnt. So i came back on and started talking to her. We both havent changed are statuses though to make each other jealous.. maybe thats just us being abit more mature? i dunno. Thats something we havent done yet. But its still early i guess. I do believe that he trying to make you jealous for whatever reason. Maybe to make you miss him more. Thats normally the general idea i find. Dunno what the messages says but im guessing something along the lines of "Having the time of his life without his gf" or "living the dream" along those lines. That is just something to get you to react in my view.
NinaP Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 stay no contact.....what good will it do you if u start a conversation with him? if he wants to talk he knows where u are, show him you are strong! sometimes we overthink these things ur hoping he wants u to start a convo with him, if this is true it is to fill his void of missing u or guilt maybe both or maybe neither but what does the do for u? nothing at all...... take care x
carhill Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Easy. Stay off all social networking sites as part of NC. Your real friends and family know your phone number and how to push those numerical digits.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 its hard, i dont know what to think anymore one of the reasons i tried not to come online as often was to avoid seeing him on and its too much of a coincidence that the days i caome on he comes on too!!! i dont want to think too much about it because this will just lead to false hope maybe his found someone new and she happened to sign in same time as me....
Ronni_W Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 i cant even block him because i know his sister !!! That's just something you decided to tell yourself...you most certainly CAN block him even though you know his sister. I'm sure she understands about 'no contact' in general and, if she is any friend of yours, she'd likely encourage you to do what YOU need to do for your own healing and recovery. So really. The whole "I can't block him because of her," is a bit of BS that is keeping you stuck in thinking/wanting his on-line activity to be about you, and him wanting to connect with you. (If he genuinely wanted a conversation with you, he would have started one, yes? IOW, he's just TRYING TO jerk your around -- you do NOT have to let him succeed. That is, if he really is engaging in any type of "msn stalking drama" in the first place.) It sucks that it's over. Thinking that there is any hope, not reading the "signs" that ARE there, and reading into "signs" that aren't there, is just going to make it suck even more. Block him. Stay n/c. Stay strong -- you CAN do it!!! Hugs.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 i deleted and blocked him so many times then he would text me or call me and ill just unblock him, we decided to be friends but havent spoken to eachother for over a week now... i dont think we are ready to be friends to be honest... im not going to lie i still care for him alot! the only thing im scared of is hearing his with someone new...would just kill me inside!
Trialbyfire Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 It takes two to play mind games, so stop playing. Let him play with himself! You know exactly what you need to do on MSN. Setup a buddy list and only allow contact from your buddies. You know you can decline any unwanted adds.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 he is playing by himself, im not adding to the game, i signed in on msn hoping to catch up with friends didnt expect him to come on.... thought he was busy having the time of his life with the new girls he met or so he claims.... i think i will delete him and block him today until im ready to be his friend
Author jessicasilver Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 i signed in today again later then i did yesterday and he signs in 10minutes later but yet he doesnt speak it hurts because today was our anniversary ( well not technically because we are no longer together) and he didnt say nothing....im hurt to the point where i want to ring him and swaer at him!!!!! how can he be so heartless
carhill Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Oh, come on! Just stop looking at those sites. Have you no control over your eyes and hands?!? Serve him up a total black hole silence sandwich. The cold will take his breath away
Alex_M Posted April 24, 2009 Posted April 24, 2009 Delete him instantly... Telling yourself you can't because you know his sister is an excuse.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 i finally had the courage to delete him and block him! n it felt so good the fact that i dont have to put up with his constant changing screen names and him signing in straight after me loool (giving me false hope) besides i just figured once he finds a new girlfriend im sure he will end up blocking/deleting me so y dont i just make it easier for him!!! i guess it makes it easier to move on when you just pretend they dont exist anymore...
EmperorR Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 both my exes are on my block list on msn, only one still has me added the recent one I don't unblock thouhg.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 both my exes are on my block list on msn, only one still has me added the recent one I don't unblock thouhg. LOL please keep it that way... i feel like the stronger one now that i took it to the next level... the fact that they still have you on there msn shows they still care.... i just dont care anymore! he had his chance he let it slip so good luck to him... i wonder what he will be thinking in a months time when he realises i never come on msn again hahahaha
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 i finally had the courage to delete him and block him! n it felt so good the fact that i dont have to put up with his constant changing screen names and him signing in straight after me loool (giving me false hope) besides i just figured once he finds a new girlfriend im sure he will end up blocking/deleting me so y dont i just make it easier for him!!! i guess it makes it easier to move on when you just pretend they dont exist anymore... jessica, he's not doing anything to you. You're doing it to yourself. It's just as easy to ignore him, whether he's playing games or not. Having said that, I'm glad you've chosen to delete and block him. NC is the cure-all for any break up. It just takes time.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 jessica, he's not doing anything to you. You're doing it to yourself. It's just as easy to ignore him, whether he's playing games or not. Having said that, I'm glad you've chosen to delete and block him. NC is the cure-all for any break up. It just takes time. i guess i was reading it a bit too much... i became so paranoid and assumed that every moment he made was because of me! but it cant be a coinsidence that everytime i sign in to msn he happens to sign in 5 minutes later and he wont come online unless im online?!? its happened like 4 times now on 4 different days...
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 i guess i was reading it a bit too much... i became so paranoid and assumed that every moment he made was because of me! but it cant be a coinsidence that everytime i sign in to msn he happens to sign in 5 minutes later and he wont come online unless im online?!? its happened like 4 times now on 4 different days... Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. Just focus on you. The minute you try to figure out what someone else is thinking, post breakup, is the minute you hit that slippery slope of obsessing about it. The less he's on your mind, the better. I know, I know. It's easy to say but difficult to do when you're hurting. Just know it's possible and remember, if he wanted to contact you, he knows where to find you.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. Just focus on you. The minute you try to figure out what someone else is thinking, post breakup, is the minute you hit that slippery slope of obsessing about it. The less he's on your mind, the better. I know, I know. It's easy to say but difficult to do when you're hurting. Just know it's possible and remember, if he wanted to contact you, he knows where to find you. i know its been 2 months now... i finally realised that i was obsessing about everything and i was letting his every movement control my life i think him not even saying HELLO on the day which was meant to be our anniversary just pulled me back right to reality and i realised all those days i wasted crying and hoping an waiting to get something from him was wasted! to be honest i could not care less anymore... but then again i had a good weekend so thats maybe why i feel this way... if it wasnt such a good weekend i think i would be depressed right now LOL
Trialbyfire Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 i know its been 2 months now... i finally realised that i was obsessing about everything and i was letting his every movement control my life i think him not even saying HELLO on the day which was meant to be our anniversary just pulled me back right to reality and i realised all those days i wasted crying and hoping an waiting to get something from him was wasted! to be honest i could not care less anymore... but then again i had a good weekend so thats maybe why i feel this way... if it wasnt such a good weekend i think i would be depressed right now LOL Then put your head down and full speed forwards! Enough with the backwards thinking. Sure, you'll have set-backs like this and that's normal. As long as you don't get stuck and can pull yourself out like you just did, you'll be fine.
yadungon Posted April 27, 2009 Posted April 27, 2009 Every time he on yell at him, get all the anger out.
Author jessicasilver Posted April 27, 2009 Author Posted April 27, 2009 Every time he on yell at him, get all the anger out. lool that would just feed on his enourmous ego!! he would assume im still madly in love with him which i am not!! i do stil care about him but the feelings have gone!
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