Pradajunkie Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 How often have you had an accusation of an affair, only to find out the accuser was the guilty one? My husband has accused me on several occasions of having infidelities, only for me to give him access to my phone, email records, text messages, then he has said I've hidden something from him and I've told him time and time again to look at his leisure he has all the passwords, access etc. Reading through some of your posts, I never thought that he would have an affair, after all he really is at work, I know this cause I have called him at odd hours to ask when he'd be home. But I see some pattern behavior not loads of it but enough to raise an eyebrow at it. I'm just wondering if maybe he has checked out of our marriage more than I was aware.
delajoonal Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 oh my Pradajunnke....this is SO weird you would post this..just yesterday, my bff and i were talking about this VERY subject... as she noticed IT to with her BF. when cheaters are cheating, they get all paranoid, they get suspicious of everything the party/ spouse that is in fact NOT cheating is now, in the cheaters eyes, the one who is cheating and hiding stuff... ...you can Google this too...it is a weird phenom-...but it does happen.. as a matter of fact, my dh did this to me right before i busted him in his online EA... so YES, it is very true, the cheater, gets paranoid and turns IT all onto the NON cheater.
Author Pradajunkie Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 oh my Pradajunnke....this is SO weird you would post this..just yesterday, my bff and i were talking about this VERY subject... as she noticed IT to with her BF. when cheaters are cheating, they get all paranoid, they get suspicious of everything the party/ spouse that is in fact NOT cheating is now, in the cheaters eyes, the one who is cheating and hiding stuff... ...you can Google this too...it is a weird phenom-...but it does happen.. as a matter of fact, my dh did this to me right before i busted him in his online EA... so YES, it is very true, the cheater, gets paranoid and turns IT all onto the NON cheater. I can't find anthing that would indicate him cheating not on the phone records or emails...the beautiful thing about him is his passwords are always the same ....no sext messages, I don't even get those.... If he was sending them elsewhere I'd have to go shopping or something come back with a few more purses j/k
carhill Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Given your other postings, I'd be suspect of a parallel life, if anything. IMO, it's likely time for some professional help. What he is asking of you is not conducive to a healthy M.
Intricategirl Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 Nope. He never accused me. In fact, it was more of the opposite, especially to the end. I told him about this guy I met at an art gallery whose work I respected and later (after we split up) he told me that he had hoped I was flirting because then I'd have someone else. WTH? 'Course, we got in an argument last night and the first thing he did is yell about a male friend I've made after the split. This from the man who claimed he never had jealousy. His problem if he is.
Author Pradajunkie Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 Given your other postings, I'd be suspect of a parallel life, if anything. IMO, it's likely time for some professional help. What he is asking of you is not conducive to a healthy M. It would be really hard for him to hide anything given that I allocate the money for all the bills, I deal with the taxes, and I go over everything... I think if anything I would have to worry about his work phone, which I just pulled up records for nothing there of any concern. I could almost understand if I had another woman that had his affection, but to compete and have the kids compete with his job...wth It's been long time for professional help.... I'm making myself an appointment with a lawyer, as well as a counseller we'll see if he goes or follows suit.
carhill Posted April 23, 2009 Posted April 23, 2009 I suggest parallel because most successful men (by society's standards) are very good at understanding and utilizing all the tools at their disposal. TBH, the fact that his PW's are all the same and so readily accessible is a red flag to me. Security (regarding sensitive information) should be a top priority to a successful man who has a lot to lose. Combine that with his questioning of your data and personal discourses and I'm skeptical. Of course, happy to be wrong. I hate to see anyone's M go into the shyter
Author Pradajunkie Posted April 23, 2009 Author Posted April 23, 2009 I suggest parallel because most successful men (by society's standards) are very good at understanding and utilizing all the tools at their disposal. TBH, the fact that his PW's are all the same and so readily accessible is a red flag to me. Security (regarding sensitive information) should be a top priority to a successful man who has a lot to lose. Combine that with his questioning of your data and personal discourses and I'm skeptical. Of course, happy to be wrong. I hate to see anyone's M go into the shyter He's always been insecure, jealous, some (most of my friends) would say controlling...and on the same line he's very intelligent...but lacking common sense, usully you have book smarts or comon sense not both . If he's guilty, he's got me snowed cause I'm pretty convinced he's just working. But I'm keeping my eyes WIDE open
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